Growing up was tough in the Phillies organization. His older brother, Ryan Howard, got mixed up with the “Three Outcome” gang and couldn’t get out when the homers stopped coming. His moms wanted a better life for Jon Singleton and called up his Pops in Houston to provide a safer home. In a perfect world, Jon wouldn’t have to grow up fast — stay with the minors — but they need a man in the house in Houston and who they have at first base now could only look worse if he had jheri curl. In the last few games, Chris Carter’s DH’d and Marc Krauss has played 1st base. Doesn’t entirely matter, the Astros have to make room for Singleton. Makes no sense to keep him in the minors. Just as it didn’t for Springer, and they called him up. Why do we care? Singleton is in the mold of a young Ryan Howard. He could hit 40 homers right now. In the minors this year, he has 8 homers in 19 games while batting .325. There’s nothing left for him to prove. I’ve already stashed him in one league, and I rarely waste roster spots on rookie stashes. Moo stashes on the other hand, well… I did already give you a Jon Singleton 2014 fantasy, but that was projecting for a June call-up, and I think he could win the landmark case of sooner vs. later, which would tag about six homers on his projected total. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:
BUY
Hector Rondon – Renteria said he doesn’t have a closer. I’d like to say, he’s a liar. He has Pedro Strop, Jose Veras, Hector Rondon and James Russell. He just doesn’t have a good closer. Words matter Renteria. Say what you mean.
Kyle Farnsworth – There’s an Armenian custom in my neighborhood. They take their leftovers directly from their dining room table and throw them out their window. Literally from the table to our sidewalk. It annoys Cougs because when she’s walking our dog, he’s constantly getting into baba ghanouj and falafel. If Farnsworth was on a TV in an Armenian home, they would throw their TV out the window because he is hot garbage.
Matt Lindstrom – I will continue to maintain that he will be the closer until July when he’s traded for a nickel on the dollar for a prospect and then Webb takes over. Until July, I’d own Lindstrom.
Joe Smith – It would be fitting if he was on the Cubs, because Captain Joe Smith gave the Renterias to the Powhatan Indians.
Jenrry Mejia – Right now, he has a K-rate of 9.9 and a 5.5 BB/9. Mejia stays up late at night, watching WWOR, and keeps seeing this commercial for Ray Searage’s How To Pitch video, but doesn’t buy it because Mejia doesn’t have a VCR to play it. The Stream-o-Nator loves Mejia’s next start, and I just like him in general.
Jason Hammel – As long as a guy keeps about 5 Ks between his K-rate and walk rate, he should be okay. In 2010, Hammel had a 7+ K-rate and a 2.3 BB/9. That would’ve been ownable in every league if he wasn’t pitching in Coors and getting unlucky. In 2012, he had a 8.6 K-rate and a 3.2 BB/9. Again, ownable everywhere and that year his ERA backed it up with a 3.43 ERA. This year, he’s back at it again with a 6.5 K-rate and a 1.6 BB/9. Anyone who has studied Saberhagenmetrics can see that pattern. Hammel is not overly exciting, but ownable everywhere.
Drew Hutchison – I just went over him this morning. Scroll down or up and over or– You can find it.
Trevor Bauer – As the lead singer of Consummate 4sight, Trevor Bauer doesn’t need to pitch, he just needs to rap…hard. Here’s a verse from his latest song, Your Pitches Ain’t Shizz, But Homers And Tricks. “I come at you fast and hard, when you take me yard, I threw it back from the other side of the fence with a perfect strike to home, even in a dome. I’m not wearing goggles with chicken broth floating in it, this is not consomme for sight, you wit this? That’s orderable at a Jewish deli, they call it the Kipnis. They call it the Kipnis. They call it the Kipnis.” And he repeats that for a good minute. It could very well be the jam of the century. Something’s about to give in the Indians rotation and I’d speculate on Bauer now.
Josh Beckett – Red State Jeter is a strictly Stream-o-Nator call for today.
Edinson Volquez – Edinson has a VCR.
Ike Davis – Ike doesn’t step in the bucket. He is the bucket. He is starting on most days for a better offensive team (barely, lately) and in a better park (again, barely).
Lucas Duda – Duda and Ike together again. They’re like peas and poops.
James Loney – My hot schmotato has a first name, it’s J-A-M-E-S. My hot schmotato has a 2nd name, it’s L-O-N-E-Y.
Juan Francisco – He’s been playing so much with the Blue Jays, he’s gonna get exposed as a bad baseball player. Exposé! Juan Francisco isn’t really good. News at 11! But, just maybe, Francisco can keep up the ruse.
Cody Ross – True story: Jon Jay and Cody Ross were dating and Jon Jay said sewing is a female pursuit for people like Cody Ross’s grandmother Betsy and they got into a huge blow-up! Maybe that was Andrew Garfield and that chick he’s dating. Any the hoo! With Trumbo out, Ross should play as much as his body can handle it.
Dayan Viciedo – Honestly (like Grey would lie to you), I have no idea what Viciedo’s playing time is gonna be when Eaton returns, but I’m guessing he’s going to play while he’s hitting.
Jarrod Dyson – SAGNOF! And the Hitter-Tron is its usual crazy self for everything that runs fast and on batteries.
Corey Dickerson – I just went over my Corey Dickerson fantasy when Cuddyer hit the DL. I wrote it while screaming a Queens of the Stone Age song.
Danny Espinosa – Staying at the Renaissance Hotel all offseason has done him wonders.
Scooter Gennett – Thank God he’s a baseball player. Can you imagine if he was, say, a doctor? “Hey, Dr. Gennett–” “Call me Scooter.” “Okay, Scooter, do I have cancer? Actually, can I not call you Scooter?”
Alcides Escobar – Yeah, this Buy is dedicated to all the Alcides haters that told me he’d never amount to nothin’, to all the people that lived above me in the fantasy standings that I was hustlin’ to the waiver wire in front of. It’s all good, baby bay-bee, uh.
SELL
Edwin Encarnacion – If you look at the Buysellatops while it grazes for Buy and Sell candidates, you’ll see Edwin isn’t a huge over performer right now. He’s not a sell candidate. It’s not good to sell low. But I’m concerned. I should’ve paid closer attention to his wrist surgery. He’s a sore wrist away from hitting 25 homers and .240. I did rank him lower than most, so if you followed my rankings, you probably drafted Pujols instead of Edwin, but I know not all of you followed me. There are some heathens amongst you. Heathens that we can cure of their sins. I will baptize you in a lake, make you count cards for me in Vegas and allow you to trade Encarnacion away. Now, I wouldn’t trade him away for a drought-nourished avocado, but I would explore options.
