Or as someone with the first name Howie would call him, Howie Shmendrick. (In case, Sandy Koufax isn’t reading this to you, I’ll run down some baseball Yiddish. Erick and Willie Aybar are mishpochah, Manny Ramirez is meshuge, and Kendrick is a shmendrick.) Let’s breakdown the MI food chain. Placido Polanco is yawnstipating. Jeff Keppinger is Blanco Polanco. Howie Kendrick is wack. This year Kendrick finished with 43/3/37/.306/11. Not very impressive numbers, but he was injured for the better part of the year, only registering 340 at-bats. The problem is, Howie Kendrick is injury prone — Oops, I said it! — and may only get 340 at-bats in 2009, too. Now Kendrick does hit for a high average (In. Expli. Ca. Bly. Since he walked only 12 times all year), but it’s proving to be a very hollow average so far in his Major League career. He hasn’t sniffed double digit power yet and his speed is fine by a Carlos Lee standards, but as a light-hitting 2nd baseman, he better be stealing more than 11 a year — injury or not. So, each keeper league is obviously different, but my recommendation is to not keep Howie Kendrick.  Anyway, here’s some more keepers or players to not keep for your fantasy baseball team:


Max Scherzer – Jobacum’s already been covered in a Scherzer Keeper post, but I have news to update. According to the Diamondbacks, Scherzer will only be a starter from here on out. To keep the Yiddish theme going, no more putzing around for Scherzer in middle relief. Mazel tov! If that news causes you to have an erection for longer than four hours, it’s understandable. So far, Scherzer has looked extremely sharp in the Arizona Fall League.

Delmon Young – Maybe it’s his bravado, maybe it’s his attitude, maybe they’re the same things. Either way, I feel Alive with Pleasure like a Newport anticipating what Delmon can do in 2009. Anyone who could hit 30 home runs and steal 20 should get you excited.

Joba Chamberlain – Joba Rules say he is ‘officially’ going to be a starter in 2009. This is according to Hankenstein, Cashman, Girardi, Joba and Penny Marshall. This will ‘officially’ change seventeen times during the offseason.


Mark DeRosa – Do you know how fast a .280/20/80 2nd baseman loses his value? Ask Mark Ellis.

Jayson Werth – Werth had a good year, no doubt. Twenty-twenty outfielder who hits .273 has value in all leagues. What about an outfielder who hits 15 home runs, steals 10 and hits .260? That’s like Randy Winn with dysentery.

  1. BaronVonVulturewins says:

    Two things: Howie Kendrick has to be the most overrated player in fantasy baseball. I’m not sure how this happened, though it must have something to do with various experts over the last few years writing things like “I see a batting title in his future.” Great. You know what else I see in his future? 12 HR/11 SB. If he’s lucky. And healthy. It seems like the absolute best case scenario for him would be to bat second, hit like .340, score 110 runs, drive in 70, and maybe chip in 10 dingers and 10 steals. So basically his absolute tippy-top upside is Placido Polanco’s best year. Or about 2/3 of Ian Kinsler on a tear. Maybe if he did all that, he’d be worth your time. Until that day, not so much.

    Two: Delmon Young. Rumor is, the Twins are shopping him, maybe to the Giants. I don’t know about you, but when a former consensus top prospect is shipped one year then potentially shipped the very next, that raises a red flag for me. Sure, he may turn out to be a late-bloomer like Carlos Pena, but then, he may not be Carlos Pena for five more years. In the meantime, there’s something fishy here. Plus, I’m not sure how 10 HRs in 575 ABs turns into 30 next year. So Honorable Mr. Grey, I will respectfully disagree with your Delmon recommendation, or Delmonmendation.

    If you’re looking for 30/20 sleepers, I’d be more inclined to invest in either of Elijah Dukes or Lastings Milledge, in that order.

  2. Grey

    Grey says:

    @BaronVonVulturewins: re: Kendrick. Yup, yup and yup.

    re: Delmonification – The trade rumors don’t bother me much. Delmon Young has an attitude problem and a I-strikeout-a-lot problem. The latter is a serious problem and can hinder him. The talent is there according to his Single A and Double AA numbers; he just needs to find his groove. I see your Carlos Pena and I raise you a young Gary Sheffield.

    re: 30/20 — I see you got the catsup stain out of your Nats jersey. Those are solid possibilities, as well.

  3. BSA says:

    @Grey: Think Hippo has recovered yet this morning. Not only did the Rays’ plans get clouded last night but it was Glass Jaw Drew that drove the dagger.

    What’s going through Shield’s mind today?

  4. Grey

    Grey says:

    @BSA: Shields’s is probably thinking the same thing as all of the Rays, “We really better not screw this up.” That’s a really bad place to be mentally.

  5. BSA says:

    @Grey: Yeah, I tell ya Maddon and staff have their work cut out for them because they found themselves living White Heat – “Top of the world Ma!”
    Not saying the Sox don’t have their work ahead of them but there is definitely a swagger that has been missing for the last 24 out of 27 innings.

    Boston radio was funny this morning as they read some emails from people who had emailed last night between the third and sixth inning trying to rub Boston’s face in it. The announcers had some fun calling them out.

  6. Grey

    Grey says:

    @BSA: My girlfriend’s mom, who’s a Southie, wrote me during the third inning, “There’s always the Celts,” then after the game wrote me, “Game six!”

  7. BaronVonVulturewins says:

    @BSA: Every one loves a good comeback, but Boston fans are seriously in danger of becoming the new Yankees fans. That’s not a good thing. No outside Mass is rooting for the Sox. I know Sox fans don’t care. That’s the problem.

    @Grey: Delmon may pop, but I’d say he’s a deep sleeper at this point. I say this as someone whose ship was sunk this year after being critically overloaded with “upside.”*

    *BJ Upton: post-season HRs = 6. Regular season = 9. Me = bitter.

  8. royce! says:

    Randy Winn with dysentery? What is that? Yawnarrhea? Sounds more annoying than yawnstipation, and Werth is that. Or at least his stupid goatee thing is.

  9. Grey

    Grey says:

    @royce!: I think in stripper’s parlance that’s a landing strip.

  10. BSA says:

    @BaronVonVulturewins: Yeah I agree because some are obnoxious and some are fans because they’re cool right now. People hate the Yankees because they spend a lot of money and win. Yet look at the Red Sox as a team right now. That is not what they intended to have out there back in April yet they weathered the injuries and have put some good pieces in place.

    People always like an underdog and the Rays came in to the ALCS as such. Look at the Patriots right now – how many people cheered when Brady went down?
    People want the powerhouse taken down.

    Red Sox are hot right now, reigning Champs who are known for comebacks and the Rays have been a burr in the Red Sox ass for a long time. What will people say if the Rays become the fifth team in the Red Sox improbable postseason runs?

    My take is like Lester’s line the other night. You know he was coming back to earth, too bad it was the other night (Volquez’s numbers). Is BJ coming back to earth, Longo, etc.? Is that Red Sox lineup a .240 lineup, no, so do the teams now play to their average from here on out?

    I feel pretty good if they do?
    @Grey: My mother in law actually called me (Yankees fan) at the end to express her dismay.

  11. BSA says:

    @Grey: Rayhawk = landingstrip on BJ and Gomes’ heads.

  12. Steve says:

    @BSA: Crikey (sans exclamation mark) = “Good heavens”, “my word”, “well I’ll be and similar” understated expressions of amazement.

    Use the exclamation mark and you’re The Crocodile Hunter.

    And we all (I assume) know what happened to him.

  13. Steve says:

    Ha! Obviously I meant “well I’ll be”.

  14. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Steve: You’re defending the proper use of “Crikey,” and you got excited. It’s understandable.

  15. Steve says:

    @Grey: It’s also early.

  16. Wombaty says:

    @Grey/All: What do you think of Shin-Soo Choo’s keep-ability? I’m in a verrry (count ’em 3 rs) deep keeper league where previous year’s draft position determines keeper cost…

  17. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Steve: 7 AM? Crikey!

    @Wombaty: Might be something in a very deep league. Who are you keeping as of right now? How deep is the league? How cheaply can you keep him?

  18. Steve says:

    @Grey: I’ll say. Saturday morning here – my turn to get up with the kids.

  19. Wombaty says:

    @Grey: There are 16 teams, 24 man rosters. We get 8 keepers, and players picked up as FAs can be kept in any round, so I could keep Choo in rnd 24 if i want. Players slide up in cost each year, so value is obviously greatest the later in the draft you can lock in a talented player (ie, the lucky bastard who has Braun locked in as a 20th rounder has massive value, while keepeing Johan Santana would cost me a 1st rounder). My definite keeps are Hanley in round 2, BJ Upton (rnd 8), JD Drew (rnd 19). My borderlines are Abreu in the3rd, Wainwright in the 5th, AJ burnett in the 6th, and Fuentes in the 9th. I can keep any of the following in any round: Choo, Richie Weeks, Coco Crisp, Paul Maholm, Pat Neshek, and Kelvim Escobar…ich. Stats are R, HR, RBI, SB, AVG, OBP, SLG for hitters and Ks, Ws, QS, SVs, HDs, ERA, and WHIP for pitchers. If you have indeed read this far…thanks.

  20. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Wombaty: I would keep Choo, along with Hanley, Upton, Weeks and Maholm, if you don’t have to keep 8. If you have to keep 8, I’d add Abreu, Wainwright and Burnett.

  21. Wombaty says:

    @ Grey: Thanks…and if you every feel like playing in a league with far too many obnoxious lawyers and a convoluted set of rules complete with minor league teams (all for a rather modest pot), let me know.

  22. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Wombaty: I’m convinced Razzball has more attorney readers than the Yale Law Journal. The league sounds like it would be fun, but I already have a bunch of leagues. Thanks for the offer though.

  23. BigFatHippo says:

    @BSA:@Grey: Sorry I missed the party last night man. Fell asleep in the 6th woke up with the TV on, told JD to fuck off and turned off the lights. Hippos rise at 5 am.


    Told you to keep the faith.

  24. BigFatHippo says:

    @Grey: No, it wasn’t for me either. I’m just happy we get to hear BSA cringe in anguish one more time.

  25. BigFatHippo says:

    @Grey: The Love Guru is a comedic masterpiece!

    Just one man’s opinion. The critics need to get a sense of humor.

  26. Grey

    Grey says:

    @BigFatHippo: As long as you liked it, Mike Myers is happy.

  27. BigFatHippo says:

    @Grey: Guess that means I’m the only one that appreciates funny shit. The critics can kiss my big fat hippo ass.

    Mike Myers has as many true fans as the Rays. Which is to say two, me and Dash. The boy likes penis jokes, what can I say? I’m proud.

  28. BSA says:

    @BigFatHippo: You’re sounding like my Bon Jovi smash single with Keep the Faith.
    I knew seeing JD pull that one out would kill ya.

    Anyways, I fell asleep earlier and simply wanted to check in before I rolled back over.

    See ya Saturday in Tampa. I’m wearing my road greys already for the occasion and will be cracking another Oktoberfest at 8:00 EST.

  29. Grey

    Grey says:

    @BigFatHippo: Was it better or worse than So I Married an Axe Murderer?

  30. BigFatHippo says:

    @Grey: I’ll put it right on par with Austin Powers: Goldmember.

    @BSA: Ice down the beer, I’ll be there right after working 11 hours. Beer:30.

  31. BSA says:

    @BigFatHippo: Hopefully it is a good Satuday at the store. Wish you lived closer I would be a good customer as I am a month away from tiring an Odyssey and a Ridgeline. See ya tonight!

  32. BigFatHippo says:

    @BSA: Great Saturday at the store, thanks. I won’t bore you with the details.

    Woulda been better with your 8 tires, oh and hope that Ridgeline isn’t a black one. The black ones always have bad brakes, both axles. We’re gonna need to replace the whole system. Good news is it will only cost 899.99. Come on down, I have a coupon for $20 I’ll let you use.

    What’s that? The bell? It’s Beer:30

    Go Rays

  33. BSA says:

    @BigFatHippo: Wow a whole 2% discount – I can’t get the wallet out fast enough.
    My bell hasn’t rung yet. Still gettin’ the “Duties” done. Yet the beer is on ice. Stickin’ with Sam Oktoberfest!

    Oh yeah -Not black, Red like my Sawx.

    How ya like them apples? Now lets teach them Rays about mental fortitude and what happens when the big bats wake up.

    First call – Upton either hit or buzzed up and in.

  34. BigFatHippo says:

    @BSA: Hate to be the bearer of bad news but the Red ones tend to wear out quicker. The rear end is the first to go, ouch, that’s gonna cost ya.

    You’re boy, Bon Jovi is Lovin This Town. Is he talkin about Tampa?

  35. BSA says:

    @BigFatHippo: I’m actually thinking of going down by the river, along with lovers, fuggers, and thieves.

    Oh wait I’m already there if I’m here.

    Sure you can stay up tonight?

  36. Grey

    Grey says:

    @BigFatHippo: @BSA: Technical with the MLB playoffs? What is this, a high school football game? Why am I watching Dick Clark?

  37. BigFatHippo says:

    @BSA: WTF? TBS is experiencing technical difficulties? I gotta watch The Steve Harvey Show?

    Who’s responsible for this, Ted Turner or the Taliban?

  38. BSA says:

    @Grey: Turner power outage. Radio – Coco lead off single. Just got picked off first. Pedroia 1-2.

  39. BSA says:

    @BSA: Shields is either high or bouncing ’em in. Pedroia pops out after 6+ pitches. Papi up with two out.

  40. BigFatHippo says:

    That’s right, Jane Fonda got all his money. I am not fond a Jane!!!!!!!!!!!!

  41. BSA says:

    Rays coming up.

  42. Grey

    Grey says:

    @BSA: WTF is going on? This is insane. Why is Steve Harvey on?

  43. Grey

    Grey says:

    @BSA: You’re entitled to legal representation, mail and the baseball playoffs. This is some crap.

    I approve this message for changing the channels.

  44. BigFatHippo says:

    @Grey: This is bizarre, worse than the Heidi game in the NFL.

    Turner sux.

  45. BSA says:

    Iwamura K. Upton pitchecd up and in, curve, fastball (93), curve, fastball inside full count, fuckin HR. Drill ’em!
    missed location.

  46. BigFatHippo says:

    I’d rather see the Poltergeist screen, they’re heeeere…………..

  47. BSA says:

    its backkkkkkk

  48. BSA says:

    Here we go……..
    I’ll check back in aouple of innings
    Wife is painting and baby won’t get too sleep.
    Type or watch, type or watch?

  49. BigFatHippo says:

    @BSA: Hehe, nice play by play anti-Scully.

    Bout time, unforgivable. I will never watch TBS ever, unless there’s baseball.

  50. Grey

    Grey says:

    @BigFatHippo: That was bonkers. What did they say when it came back? Craig Sagar’s tie shorted out the electricity.

  51. BigFatHippo says:

    @Grey: They said Jane Fonda sold the rights to Al-Quaida, but the Taliban argued that they owned the rights. MLB stepped in and said something like….”This game may not be dissiminated without express written consent from Major League Baseball”

    All parties involved bowed to Bud Selig and said “Game on”

  52. BigFatHippo says:


    I think Craig Sager greeted me at Wal-Mart yesterday. Nice guy.

  53. BSA says:

    @BigFatHippo: Word on Sager’s jackets – TBS or MLB, not sure which, told him to tone it down. I guess he decided to ignore them.

    Lets see power outage, a new ump behind the plate, what next? How much deeper can Shields go?

    Did you hear Tito thinks Beckett can go 8?