So Francisco Liriano didn’t exactly solidify your fantasy baseball team back in April. Well, as they might not say in China, don’t throw out the baby with the bath water. Since returning to the minors, he’s pitched some decent games, but the most encouraging thing is he’s regaining his control. Right now he’s sitting at a 41/15 K/BB ratio. In most leagues, Liriano is worth a flier. Just know when he does return, you might get the obligatory crap first start, then you’ll drop him only to watch him perform well on a different team. (BTW, ever notice how weird ob- words are? Obligatory? That’s weird. What, am I being obtuse? And you probably wish you became an OB-GYN. Well, that’s obscene. High School Counselor, “Obstetrics? Don’t worry, you use a camera…” “Obscura? No, thanks. But if I ever have a kid I’ll name him, Obama.” Yeah, red states wanna send him back to oblivion. They can’t wait to read Obama’s political obit. Meanwhile, blue states are hoping he can Obi Wan their asses. Oh, boy. This bit’s obsessive. Obey Oberlin College!) Anyway, here’s some more fantasy baseball players to buy and sell:
BUY
Brandon Morrow – If he’s getting saves, you should be investing something. Is he better than Chris Perez? Is Chris Perez getting saves? Is he better than Heath Bell? Is Bell getting saves? I’m sure you get my drift.
Brad Hawpe – Even if you just start him against righties, he’s going to be worth it some point soon.
Khalil Greene – Rudy seems convinced the phonetically irrelevant “h” is throwing off his timing. I think it’s karma for being the only ugly mulatto person in the world. His early season struggles may just be one of the universe’s many unanswered questions along with, “Does God poop?” Either way, I think Greene’s overdue to turn it around.
Charlie Morton – He sounds like your Dad’s business associate. “Go get cleaned up. Your father invited Charlie Morton over for dinner.” “Aw, jeez.” “Don’t ‘aw, jeez’ me and put on your fancy dungarees.” I don’t know what Morton looks like, but his numbers in the minors were solid. 2.05 ERA, almost a K per inning. NL-Only leagues should definitely take a look.
Frank Thomas – Egads! When interleague’s over, The Big Hurt is coming back. He can be a fat-kidneyed harpy, but don’t let that cloud your judgment if you need home runs.
Ryan Spilborghs – Not so fast toadies, Willy T. is losing time in center for Spilborghs.
SELL
Ryan Zimmerman – Should not be on any teams. Even 10 team leagues that only use Nats player.
Homer Bailey – Maybe Ankiel can show him how to swing the bat.
Troy Percival – As soon as he comes back, start shopping him. He’s old and has already been retired once. For over a year.
Howie Kendrick – I don’t believe in guys who lack speed and enough strength to beat me arm wrestling.
Milton Bradley – At some point he will suddenly drop his ego on some part of his body and injure himself. You’ve been warned.
