Halladay is the vet who averages 10 innings a game. AJ Burnett is the high-paid free agent with filthy stuff. McGowan is the prospect that’s on the verge of greatness, but Marcum has the best ERA, WHIP and K rate. That’s right, Shaun Marcum! Wait, who? Um, he’s from Missouri. You know, Marcum! He’s prone to the home run ball and… Let’s see… He’s averaging about one baserunner every seven starts. He has a ridiculous BABIP that’s under .200… (Grey, please no numbers!) Okay, sorry, grasshopper. So what are some predictions? Marcum is a solid #3 starter that should have between a 3.50 and 4.00 ERA the rest of the way. *nodding off* I’m sorry. What? Oh, Marcum! Right! Wow, Marcum is boring, right? He’s throwing a .87 WHIP through May and I can’t get excited about him at all. Maybe it’s because he’s from Missouri. Where is Missouri? Do they have TV there? Isn’t that Cardinals country? Why am I talking about the Cardinals? Cause Marcum’s really boring. But he can be helpful. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday:

Brandon Webb – Has dropped 2 in a row since the 9 game winning streak. If you convince someone in your league that he’s going to lose 7 more in a row, go for it. He’s as good a bet as there is for a starting pitcher right now. Worthy of a straight-up trade with just about any hitter not picked in the 1st round.

Jair Jurrjens – He was removed after 4 and 2/3 innings when he was up 2 runs. Sometimes a Cox yanking doesn’t lead to a happy ending.

Melky Cabrera – After a great April, Melky has been awful in May. Figure he’ll be in-between for the rest of the year which makes him a 15/15 OF who varies from 5th OF to droppable in most leagues.

Jason Bergmann – It’s hard to believe in anyone in Washington, but we’re fast becoming believers in Bergmann. 3 straight scoreless outings with 22 Ks in 19.2 IP. He was a reliever in the minors so it’s hard to project his stats, but he pitched OK last year in his first stint with the Nationals. Ride the streak and see where it takes you.

Corey Patterson – We suggest he move in with Corey Feldman and Corey Haim. They can all star in Lost Boys 2. (BTW, after offhandedly mentioning Sidney Pollack in Sunday night’s post, I wouldn’t stand too close to the Two Coreys today.)

Chase Headley – We told you about Ian Stewart 10 ten days prior to his call-up. We told you about Jay Bruce eight days prior. Headley should be up soon too. So if you’re still holding onto him, keep holding onto him. Let’s reevaluate in a week. (BTW, I don’t think everyone needs Headley, but if you’re weak at 3rd or corner, you might.)

Cristian Guzman – I feel like he could go 100/40/.330/40 and no one would ever pick him up and, next year, no one would draft him. It would be an interesting experiment to see if Cristian Guzman hit 27 home runs in a month, how long it would take for people to think he was for real and pick him up. I’d say he’d still be at 33% owned at the end of the month. Am I saying this because I think he’s worth a pickup and no one is because of preconceived notions? Oh, heck no. I just philosophize about mock drafts and fantasy expertise; you can call me a White-Mustachioed Socrates.

Chad Tracy – No one likes a red-headed stepchild. All he’s going to do is steal ABs from Co-Jack and Mark Reynolds.

Salomon Torres – If you feel like it’s a broken record, I apologize, but he can be the closer for two months. Team decisions about who is getting paid more (Backne) might affect the outcome, but don’t think Torres can’t do the job. “This was paid for by the committee to avoid a closer by committee.”

Ryan Spilborghs – A Corky Thatcher-looking skull that looks like it can be bought at Spencer Gifts is an alien God? Karen Allen looked like she’s too old to be dating Tommy Lee Jones forget Indiana Jones. Shia LaDouce is a tough-ass greaser? Why not just put a comb in Jonathan Lipnicki’s back pocket? *realizing it’s Spilborghs, not Spielberg* Oh, um, Spilborghs has been batting fourth with Holliday out. If he’s facing a lefty, you should absolutely have him in your lineup.

Chase Utley/Ryan Howard – I’m only surprised when one of them doesn’t hit a home run.

Kosuke Fukudome – Lately, he’s been like Ichiro without the speed or Matsui without the power. Either way, he’s in a serious funkudome.

Nick Markakis – I am Sparkakis!

Gary Sheffield – Oblique spasms. Perhaps they were caused by the fork poking him to check if he’s done.

  1. Chet says:

    Should I pursue and am I giving enough in a deal where:

    I give:

    I get:

    I really think Theriot is seriously going to fade down the stretch and want to address the shortstop position on my team. Hanley has struggled a bit lately and I want to capitalize. I already have David Wright at 3rd and have been playing Braun in the outfield(where im stacked). The other guy wants to upgrade at third and improve his pitching. My pitching in a SP SP RP RP P P P format is Peavy Zambrano Bedard Billingsley Greinke Valverde Capps Rauch Schenzer, and feel i can afford to lose Jurrjens. 6×5 league w/ weekly lineups…

  2. b.j. says:

    just traded Volquez for Cano. Have an abundance of SP and had Aaron Hill at 2b. I feel like its a great trade. Agreed?

  3. Razzy says:

    Yes, thats my nickname – way before this site came along…

    Jurrjens came out early because he supposedly had a blister on his hand.

    And we just recently got electricity for the first time here in Missouri. Wal-Mart was filled with shoppers buying light bulbs and they ran out within an hour.

    Its not all bad here. I enjoy reading magazines when I go sit in our outhouse to take a dump.

  4. @Chet: I like the trade. In that format – and with your pitching – Jurrjens isn’t worth anything. Theriot is a nice player but I’m assuming there wouldn’t be a place for him with Hanley on board. The key here is to view the trade as: Hanley + OF (either on your bench or FA) vs. Theriot and Braun. Assuming you’re as stacked at OF as you say you are, the first half of that trade wins just about every statistical measure.

    @b.j.: If you’ve got SP to spare, this is a solid trade. Volquez is bound to regress and Cano is bound to improve. But Volquez has been so good the past two months that I might’ve been tentative to jump off his bandwagon. Here’s hoping your boldness pays off.

  5. IowaCubs

    IowaCubs says:

    You didn’t say any thing about Jesse Litsch. He’s having a fine season. Worth a pickup? Not many K’s there, but he can’t be much more of a gamble than Daniel Cabrera?

  6. BSA says:

    So when it comes to having Cueto and trying to flip him with a player to add value and upgrade I threw the following options to a leaguemate hoping for a bite. I am putting two together so it clears a spot without me having to drop so I can get Kershaw before my league wakes up or stumbles on Razzball.
    I offered with Cueto and Rauch for Valverde – my closers are Ryan and Pap. I also offered Cueto with Morneau for Howard. Figure Arizona has more save ops than the Nats. No offense Rauch.
    Probably tip the scales in his favor but since I have alterior motives it probably isn’t a big deal.
    Thinking correctly or not. Offers still pending acceptance.
    My backup first baseman is Votto.

  7. @BSA: I like Cueto and Morneau for Howard. Not a fan of the Cueto and Rauch for Valverde trade b/c I don’t think Valverde is any safer or better than Rauch.

    @IowaCubs: Litsch is doing pretty well so far. All 5 Blue Jays pitchers are ownable. But he’s still #5 of the group…

  8. JR says:

    This question has probably come up many times before, but I’ll ask it anyway: Scherzer or C. Perez? Thanks!

  9. BSA says:

    @Rudy – Thanks – I agree on Valverde/Rauch value just going more on the Dback versus Nat potential wins.
    We’ll see. What does Kershaw bring to the table different than Cueto. Unfortunately Cueto has a bigger sample which indicates more struggles than originally predicted or expected from a rookie.
    This past week’s trade of Volq for Vlad didn’t help or hurt me in the h2h matchup as I played the team I traded with.
    It should be an interesting week in Cincy.

  10. Frank Rizzo says:

    Good call with Spilborghs. Picked him up immediately.

    Holding onto Joba right now in my Yahoo league. Is it worth the time and roster spot to wait for this guy to become a full time starter? They certainly are getting a ton of air time about this transition.

  11. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Frank Rizzo: Isn’t this why you originally had him on your team? To be a starter. Now you know exactly when he’s going to pitch and for how long. Looks to be on schedule for Wednesday and 55 pitches.

  12. IowaCubs

    IowaCubs says:

    @Rudy Gamble: Is Litsch usable in a 5×5 12 team mixed leauge (29 player rosters)?

  13. Lolhamburger says:

    @Grey: I don’t even have any questions to ask! I only want to say that your post today slayed me.

  14. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Razzy: And you have computers.

    re: Jair — Weird how him and Jojo both had blister issues.

  15. Grey

    Grey says:

    @IowaCubs: Yeah, I would definitely use him. Watch matchups though.

    @Lolhamburger: Thanks, lolhamburger

  16. @IowaCubs: Yes, I’d say Litsch is usable in that type of league. I’d consider him a 5th/6th starter and bench him during bad matchups. That’s how I’m currently handling Andy Pettitte and Manny Parra…

  17. IowaCubs

    IowaCubs says:

    @Rudy Gamble: many thanks… just picked him up.

    @Grey: See what I mean about Indiana Jones? Ugh… why did Lucas have to get involved? Why didn’t Max Scherzer get to play a Nazi instead of a big dumb Russian? The more I think about that movie, the more pissed off I get.

  18. p0rk burn says:

    @JR: I asked basically the same question yesterday so I’ll give you Grey’s response (with Jobacum of course being Scherzer):

    “I think you’re better off with Perez for holds and the possibility of saves, whereas Jobacum will be better for Ks, IPs, Ws, WHIP and ERA (the ratios because he’ll be throwing more innings), so it depends what you want. I think Jobacum will stick in the big leagues and be similar to Joba with more two or three inning outings and Perez might take over by July/August, but it’s hard to know, lots of factors in regards to that.”

  19. JR says:

    @pork burn


  20. p0rk burn says:

    @IowaCubs: I agree with you 100% on that. Just last night I remembered one of the scenes that really annoyed me and my opinion of the movie took another hit. Who knows what other crappy scenes I’ve tried to forget that will pop up in my nightmares. Seriously, thats the best they could do?

  21. Grey

    Grey says:

    @p0rk burn: @IowaCubs: God knows Lucas is completely out of touch so my thinking is he had way too much involvement. At least they didn’t cut into a mummy to find Jar Jar.

  22. dan says:

    Drop Cueto for Kershaw or Colon? Or keep and hope for the best

  23. Grey

    Grey says:

    @dan: I’d consider Kershaw but no way on Colon. What I’m worried about with dropping Cueto for Kershaw is Cueto might come out of his current adjustment period and be usable while Kershaw might enter an adjustment period in a month or so and be right where Cueto is right now. Also, Kershaw will have his innings monitored closely by the Dodgers, while we know Dusty doesn’t monitor anything. So I’d hold tight, but could see the Kershaw move.

  24. Chet says:

    @Grey: I’m looking to pounce on a desperate Matt Holliday owner who also fell victim to the Hawpe DL stint as well. This has left him with Ordonez, Ibanez, and Griffey to hold down his three outfield spots rendering his util spot empty and in need of a wire pick up (Pierre, Murphy, Ankiel types). Would you recommend and am I giving up enough if I Carlos Lee for Holliday straight up. I can add a Kendrick as he has been weak at second all year. Finally, would I be making a huge upgrade from lee to holliday, I could really use the boost in average.

  25. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Chet: I think that’s a great idea, but I don’t think Lee to Holliday is ripping him off enough. Don’t you have a Quentin or a Volquez that you can try and package with Kendrick to try and ripoff the other owner even more so?

  26. Chet says:

    @Grey: I have Mclouth, Ellsbury, and Bruce as my Quentin types, and while I do have some pitchers in that mold: Jurrjens and Grienke, this guy is strong in pitching so I don’t think that would be of interest to him. Problem is I need Ellsburys and Mclouths steals, and too be honest I think they really are both the real deal. Also, I was wondering what your take was on my previous question (#1) that Rudy has already so kindly advised me on.

  27. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Chet: I think it’s a solid trade. I’d say something if I disagreed with Rudy.

    Now you’re going to have Ellsbury and Hanley? Why do you need so much speed? Are you a speed junkie? I’d trade Ellsbury/Kendrick for Holliday. But that might not cut it. Holliday is an upgrade on McLouth, so I’d do that trade as well. Bruce, Jurrjens and Ellsbury is another trade I’d do for Holliday.

  28. Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    Look what happens — I go away for one internet-free holiday weekend, only to come back and find Jay Bruce arriving in Cincy from Heaven on a sunbeam! Angel choirs are singing! The Messiah has arrived! And just in time for Matt Holliday to go on the DL!

    Question: I’m still trying to shop AGonzo for pitching help. The owner I’m targeting has Haren, Felix Hernandez, Harden, JarJar Jurrens, Eveland, and Dook-sher. He also has Mark Reynolds at 3B and Helton at 1B, AND he could use another closer. (He’s got troubles.) So I figure either Gonzo and/or Zimmerman are upgrades for him, and I could probably use Salomon Torres as a pot-sweetener.

    Putting all that in the Deal-O-Matic, what’s a fair but worthwhile offer? Gonzo for Haren straight up? Gonzo + Torres? Which pitcher do you like best here, and at what price?

    A lot of questions, I know, but I’ve been gone all weekend.

  29. The Dude says:

    Do you think a dealing Dan Uggla for Brian Roberts and Matt Cain is a good deal for me. My current SP’s are Volquez, Hamels, Saunders, Kershaw, Wellemeyer, Lackey and Cook.

  30. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Baron Von Vulturewins: Maybe Zimmerman for F-Her. F-Her didn’t look so bad yesterday, he just took some lumps in his last inning. If this guy’s starting Reynolds in a mixed league at this point (unless it’s a 32 team mixed league), I can’t imagine he won’t jump at the chance to be a Zimmerfan.

    A-Gonz for Haren straight up is the trade I would make, as well. Then I’d use Torres as the sweetener. After he refuses one of those trades, you throw in Torres and see if that tips the scales.

    @The Dude: I probably wouldn’t do it. Cain’s looked real sloppy at times and Roberts can be had for less.

    EDIT: Cuz.

  31. BSA says:

    What does a trade of morneau for pujols sound or look like? I know howard has upside to morneau but pujols just seems like a greater power to deal with – consistent. I never hear or read anything about pujols and I am looking at what teams, who like to trade have that I want. I want to package something with Cueto.

  32. mike says:

    Can you see any team taking a shot on Bonds?

  33. @BSA: Morneau for Pujols? You’re going to need a pretty sweet kicker in there. I don’t think Cueto would be enough but if you sell it, more power to you.

    @mike: Yomiuri Giants

  34. mike says:

    Should I trade Napoli for Molina straight up?

  35. p0rk burn says:

    Guy in my league is looking for a catcher. I’ve been sitting on Posada all season with Bengie doing his thing for me in the interim. I’m looking for a SP; he has Kazmir, Hudson, McGowan, and Peavy (obviously I doubt he would make that trade). I like Kazmir and Hudson, thoughts? Should I be afraid of Kazmir’s injury issues and the potential collapse of the the Rays? Is Posada for Hudson giving up too much on my end? I definitely don’t need a 2nd catcher so moving one of these guys makes sense.

  36. mike says:

    sry…Bengie Molina

  37. Grey

    Grey says:

    @mike: Nope.

    @p0rk burn: If you can move Posada for Kazmir I would do that in a second. I would also move him for Hudson, but I’d go for Kazmir first.

  38. Frank Rizzo says:

    Anyone think the Sheffield injury could be a blessing in disguise for the Tigers?

    How about moving Guillen to DH, Inge to 3rd for his defense, and put Cabrera in the 3 spot where he was in Florida?

  39. Emcobra says:

    I have 3 teams this year one who’s in 1st, one in 2nd and comng on strong and one totaly tanking it 10th of 12 teams. I am totaly snake bitten in trades this year. 1st I traded Clay Buchholz and Brian Roberts for Cano and Gallardo when Gallardo was coming off the DL. Then I trade Kemp for Webb and Hawpe after Webb is 7-0 and finaly last week McCann for A.J. and Bedard and Bedard gets shelled. I can’t catch a break. My lineup is
    C Pierzinski
    1B Pena
    2B Cano
    SS Micheal Young
    3B Wright
    CI Kotchman
    OF Sizemore, Rios, Markakis
    UT Dye, Justin Upton
    Bench Ankiel,hawpe DL
    P Webb
    RP CJ Wilson
    BJ Ryan
    Baker DL
    Extra catagories are holds,OPS I suck in OPS and average despite a decent amount of HR,RBI,R,SB

  40. IowaCubs

    IowaCubs says:

    @Grey: Did you seriously know Sydney Pollack was dying or something when you said that on Sunday? He was one of my favorite non-tough guy tough-guy actors.

    Poor Feldman, may he rest in peace.

  41. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Frank Rizzo: Anything that gets Sheff out of the lineup is a blessing.

    @IowaCubs: No, I had no idea. I was just going for a random director. I almost put Rob Reiner, but I figured Pollack was a funnier name than the alliteration of Rob R.

  42. BigFatHippo says:

    Man great idea Rizzo.

    That would solve my catcher conundrum as I’m currently employing Yadier there only because he doesn’t strike out. Could play Inge every day.

    Any suggestions on a better catcher Grey? Available is Pudge, Varitek, Kendall ,Napoli (would kill my avg), Inge.

    Yadier really helps me believe it or not. Very strong at all positions and pitchers and leading my league by 18, so low k’s is good idea to me. What you think of Yadi?

  43. @Emcobra: I wouldn’t worry too much about this team and your trades. If OPS is a stat, that undervalues SB. If you can swap Rios for a Dunn, that might improve the stat. Maybe a Rios and Kotchman for a top-flight 1B? Lowe and Myers are pitching bad right now so it’s good you traded for Webb and Bedard. Where’s Burnett – I thought you traded for AJ? I’d stay on the lookout for young starters (having Joba is nice) and closers so you can eventually build up the bottom half of the staff and have more flexibility in trading away saves.

  44. Grey

    Grey says:

    @BigFatHippo: I’d go Navarro, Napoli, Varitek, Yadir then punt.

  45. BigFatHipo says:

    Navarro’s already had. Nap kills my avg and some would say I’m already punting w Yadi but .300 and the hardest guy in baseball to strike out helps me most.

    Drafted Salty and Towles to start with so you can see how I got in this mess.

  46. BigFatHippo says:


    Navarro’s already had, Nap would kill my avg and some would say I’m already punting w Yadi. But .300 and the hardest guy in MLB to K actually plays well for me.

    Originally drafted Salty and Towles so you can see why I’m in this mess.

  47. Chase says:

    Maine or Billingsley?

  48. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Chase: They’re real close. I’d probably lean towards Maine.

  49. mike says:

    someone dropped James Loney in my league….dont know much about him, is he a worthy pickup?

  50. Grey

    Grey says:

    @mike: Guess it depends on what kind of shizz you’re currently starting at 1B of Corner. Can’t think of many guys he would start over. Mark Reynolds maybe?

  51. mike says:

    think Rafael Soriano will have any value as a relief pitcher once he returns? worth holding on to?

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