Okay, we’re going to put behind us the absurd notion that absolutely everything has changed in a little over a month of a six month season. I’m not going to point out regression to the mean, skill sets or anything else in regards to players doing what they should do over the marathon-like baseball season. We’re going to assume ESPN knows better than us. That their rankings a month ago made sense and today their new rankings also make sense. We’re not going to say, “How could Brandon Webb be ranked tenth overall on Berry’s ranking yet Harang is ranked 70th?” We’re not going to say, they kinda have the same numbers, except for wins. We’re going to assume Webb will go 30-0 and Harang will go 3-27. We’re going to do all of that because we’re all brainwashed. We won’t second guess Karabell ranking Webb first overall. That’s right. We’re going to take our medicine, because that’s what we do — day in and day out. What choice do we have? You get all of this tremendous information at ESPN Hindsighter™; they know better than us because they broadcast games. And they’re owned by Disney. And Disney stockholders must know better than me. And… Fuck that! Is Hater Bell the only one that’s irate? You’re not frustrated with the status quo?

You need to start listening to some ’80s PE, and stop watching Flavor of Love. You need to get angry, quickfast. Put down the wine cooler and pick up a four-oh of OE. Stop holding your girlfriend’s pocketbook while she’s in the bathroom. Take her cash out of her wallet, drop the purse in the garbage and take the eighteen-year-old Wetzel’s Pretzels girl home and do her like Karabell’s been doing to his readers for the last seven years. You’re all to blame. Karabell et al is the meter maid who gave you a ticket while you ran into the store to get change. Karabell’s your eighth grade crush who asked your best friend to the Sadie Hawkins dance. Karabell’s your insecurity and that shizz is eating you alive. /rant

  1. Kevin says:

    Does anyone out there actually pay for “ESPN Insider?” That company has a lot of nerve charging money for information that is available for free on other sites, many of which offer better information. I wouldn’t pay for that crap even if it cost 2 cents for the year with a second one free.

  2. IowaCubs

    IowaCubs says:

    @Kevin: Something tells me that if someone is dumb enough to write that crap, then there is also someone out there who is willing to pay for it.

    Trade question… I’ve been offered Brandon Lyon and Mark Reynolds for Tim Lincecum. I need saves and rbi, and this takes care of some of that.

    People in my league have rejected my many offers for trades for 2nd and 3rd rounders for Lincecumshot. Rejected by the owners of Berkman, Teixiera, Howard, and ARod. I even offered the Cleveland Steemer (a.k.a. Joe Borowski), and they still rejected me. I feel so unloved.

    EDIT: many apologies for the cleveland steemer reference, JoeBlow.

  3. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Kevin: Well, I pay for it for material. But, yeah, no one should. I pass along their turd nuggets anyway, so no need for anyone that looks at this site needs to pay.

    ‘cum’s better in your pocket than for those schmohawks. Reynolds is actually the star of my Razzball team that’s built to suck. He’s up to 46 Ks, last I checked. He’ll be losing at-bats to Chad Tracy if he continues to screw the pooch. Lyon’s not safe. Big no on that trade. If people won’t give you the price that’s fair, just keep him.

  4. Freak says:

    @Kevin: I pay for the Mag and Insider comes free. Does that count?

  5. Chase says:

    08 Projections for Carlos Quentin?

  6. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Freak: Nah, you’re good freak. Keep on, keepin’ on.

    @Chase: 105/25/70/.290/15 is a modest estimate if he stays in the 2 hole for the majority of the season. Could be higher on home runs.

  7. Chase says:

    C Ryan Doumit
    1B Prince Fielder
    2B Chase Utley
    3B Ryan Braun
    SS Derek Jeter
    OF Ichiro Suzuki
    OF Curtis Granderson
    OF Álex Ríos
    Util Justin Morneau
    BN Robinson Canó
    BN Eric Byrnes
    DL Troy Tulowitzki

    SP Chien-Ming Wang
    SP Tim Hudson
    RP Joe Nathan
    RP Bobby Jenks
    P Brandon Lyon
    P Ben Sheets
    P Johnny Cueto
    BN Carlos Zambrano
    BN Chris Young
    BN Jake Peavy

    C Geovany Soto
    1B Ryan Howard
    2B Ian Kinsler
    3B Aramis Ramírez
    SS Hanley Ramírez
    OF Matt Holliday
    OF Corey Hart
    OF Adam Dunn
    Util Mark Teixeira
    BN Garrett Atkins

    SP Tim Lincecum
    SP Johan Santana
    RP Francisco Rodríguez
    RP B.J. Ryan
    P J.J. Putz
    P Matt Capps
    P Rich Harden
    BN Justin Verlander
    BN Erik Bedard
    BN Aaron Harang
    BN Matt Cain

    Which team is better? Standard 5×5 H2H

  8. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Chase: Can I choose C?

  9. Grey

    Grey says:

    BTW, I’m still drunk from last night.

    The second team is much better.

  10. Chris says:

    Braun still has eligibility in some leagues at 3B? I figured that was eliminated when they put Bill “Mr. Sieve” Hall at the corner and moved Braun to become the league’s most sluggish reacting LF in recent memory not named Barry Bonds.

  11. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Chris: Mr. Sieve — hehe

    Yeah, Braun played 3rd last year, so he has eligiblity in most leagues this year.

    EDIT: For coherence.

  12. Personally, I’d rather have Roger Dorn and his “Ole” defense over Hall or Braun personally. Granted, D is not necessarily a major factor in fantasy ball, unless you have Milwaukee pitchers…

    Speaking of Milwaukee, can we mark this down as the end of Gagne as the closer long term? Yost has announced the dreaded “closer by committee” mentality.

  13. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Chris: As I said in the Frenchy post on Friday, I think Torres comes out with the most saves from the committee, but I don’t think it’s the end Gagne, unfortunately.

Comments are closed.