BOOM!!! CRASH!!! BAM!!!! BANG!!!! ONOMATOPOEIA! ONOMATOPOEIA!!! (Click Here) <—-What the hell is going on? Not sure but I think we’re walking into a super-hero reference involving Noah Syndergaard. Then again, look at him; he is Thor. He is really Thor! He also has a classic Texas fastball with as much mustard as anybody slanging. If you know me, and well you don’t know me because I’m ashamed to tell people I actually know in real life that I have an imaginary persona on the internet. But if you did you would know I like mustard. Seriously I eat an unconscious amount of mustard. I put it on everything. Ever had mustard on ice cream? I have! Don’t try it, leaves a terrible aftertaste. A rancid, putrid, unholy aftertaste that can only be described as mustard cream. So why am I saying all this? Because I like a guy with a little mustard on him? Oops, I mean fastball! There’s a dynamic duo that has me salivating and also buying the cheapest guys possible across my lineup and that’s Thor and J-Fer. Jose Fernandez has been sitting 95 on his fastball since coming back, like the Don Mega of TJ. Thor on the other hand has been rippin ’em in there at 96-97 since getting the call to Queens in early May. Both have been fantastic the last month and face opponents with a 21%+ strikeout percentage. As I always say, K’s are king and you pay for the starters that have the double digit K potential. Now that we got the rotation out of the way, let’s discuss some cheap bats I like.

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Omar Infante, 2B: $2,700 – That’s right, we’re diving into the dumpster and eating that old codfish. Hey some times the old codfish knows how to hit R.A. Dickey and has a .500 average in 34 at bats against him. He’s cheap and he’ll probably play, what more do you want from some old codfish?

Lucas Duda, 1B: $3,900 – There’s nobody hotter in the world right now than the big Duda. He had two jacks last night and has 8 over the last 7 games. When the Duda is hot you play the Duda. Hopefully the Duda didn’t shoot his load last night. Duda says “Chicken Bone Bee-Do”.

Jake Lamb, 3B: $3,400 – Just when you started to forget about old Jakey he started hitting dongs and flashing some of that sweet, sweet promise. The Lamb of the desert faces a matchup with the all messed up Collin McHugh today and I for one am hoping he parks one into those arches in Houston. Those are arches in the outfield right?

Jung Ho Kang, SS/3B: $3,700 – A few weeks ago, J-FOH acquired him in our Razznasty league and I was pissed. Not because he acquired Kang while I was trying to trade him Hanley Ramirez but because I wanted to trade Hanley Ramirez to approach Mike about a trade for Kang. Over the last two weeks, Kang has been on a tear. .455 batting average, a .518 wOBA, and a .490 OBP. Looks like Kang is probably settling in.

Joc Pederson, OF: $3,600 – You guys remember him? Remember when he was good like a month and a half ago? Well he still is, he’s just been cold. Do you know the best way to get over a cold streak? Sleep with an ugly girl? Shut up Mark Grace! No, it’s to start by hitting a homer off a guy that has no business throwing off a major league mound. Seriously the rosin bag is too good for Drew Rucinski. Take a gamble on Joc. On another note, the Dodgers stack is totally in play today. I know Yasiel Puig has been struggling but he’s shown signs of breaking out with three homers in the last week and he’s only $3,300.

Rusney Castillo, OF: $2,600 – Don’t look now but it looks like everyone’s favorite disappointment is coming around, after seemingly getting himself straightened out in Pawtucket following a disastrous callup earlier this season. He could be a riser to wear out until his price jumps. Since being called up early last week, he’s only gone 8/20 with some power and flashed some ability to go to the opposite field. Another thing to note is Tampa’s starter Jake Odorizzi’s road ERA is nearly 2 1/2 runs higher on the road than at home. This might be my favoritest bargain of the day.

I’m Only Happy When It Rains

It looks like clear skies and happy DFSing today. One weather related note to keep in mind are the winds in Toronto, Chicago, and Milwaukee. There 20+ mph in “The Good Land” and Chiraq. The winds in Toronto are a little less at 14 mph but they’re blowing directly out to right.

Doing Lines In Vegas

The Left Sharks in Vegas have no rhythm and love Jose Fernandez as much as I do, listing the Marlins as -160 favorites today. Think about how good J-Fer must be for the Marlins to be favorites…. Heavy stuff. Looking down the board, Ubaldo Jimenez and Baltimore are heavy favorites (-182) over the post clearance Tigers. Shark and the White Sox are favorites over the Yankees, while Noah Syndergaard and the Mets are -140 over Jordan Zimmermann and the Nationals. The two lowest totals on the day are in the two games my pitchers are going in, with the Marlins and the Padres listed as 6, while the Mets v Nationals is listed at 6.5.

  1. Chris says:

    Thanks Ralph!
    I’m in a 14 team league h2h roto, the guy I’m playing has more power than speed he hit 19 HR’s this week which is insane on a great week 12-15 will win for you, average I would be winning .310 to .296 going into today, so that will probably be close. Plzzz pick 2 to start at DH:

    Pedro VS Cubs and Dodgers
    Duffy @Atl @Chic
    Aoki same
    Alcides Escobar vs CHW @Det
    Trumbo vs Texas @col


    • Ralph Lifshitz

      Ralph Lifshitz says:

      @Chris: Duffy and Esco

      • Chris says:


  2. J-FOH

    J-FOH says:

    I read your two starts and not one reference to groundskeeper willy?

    • Ralph Lifshitz

      Ralph Lifshitz says:

      @J-FOH: Hahaha a fail on my part

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