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Hey, how’s everyone doing? Enjoying your preseason? That’s nice. Have you see Parasite? It was great–*intern whispers in my ear* Yeah, I will talk about DJ LeMahieu and why he’s overrated. It’s so obvious, though, I thought I’d take this opportunity to check in on people. You know, give the impression I care about other people. What’s that? They can read this? Ohhhh…So, DJ LeMahieu just had a better season than any dream an acne-faced, 12-year-old DJ LeMahieu ever imagined while he was launching imaginary home runs in the back of the Party City his family ran. His father, Noisemaker LeMahieu, speaks to a customer, “Do you need a DJ for your party?” DJ overhearing, “Dad, I don’t want to go to anymore parties.” Noisemaker turns to his wife, “Piñata, straighten your son out, or I will.” Piñata, “¡Dios mio!” Then DJ would run into the parking lot, crying. After he composed himself, he would mimic the crowd noise of Yankee Stadium, and imitated Bob Sheppard announcing him to the plate. Or so the 30-for-30 that I’ve imagined has told me, i.e., DJ LeMahieu’s wildest dreams <are less than or equal to> His 2019 season. For s’s and g’s, I’m going to tell you his last three seasons stats, two of which were in Coors:  95/8/64/.310/6; 90/15/62/.276/6; 109/26/102/.327/5. Yo, am I the only one cackling? Giancarlo didn’t miss all of last year; he peed in the same fountain as DJ LeMahieu and, magically, they inhabited each other’s bodies. So, what can we expect from DJ LeMahieu for 2020 fantasy baseball and what makes him overrated?

Everything? Who’s drafting this schmohawk? Okay, let’s take yours truly out of the equation and look at Steamer’s projections for him:  90/19/71/.285/7 in 594 ABs. Honestly, I think that’s optimistic, but leave that alone for now and say that is his projections. That makes him the 117th best player on Steamer rankings for 12-teamers in ESPN. (We have rankings for every imaginable league on that page — Yahoo 15-teamers; ESPN OPS; well, you get the picture.) 117th overall is obviously nowhere near where he’s going, so obviously overrated. 117th overall makes him less valuable than Trey Mancini, Carlos Santana, Mike Moustakas, to name a few. That’s according to Steamer, so you can @ me but I’m just relaying info to you before even inserting myself — that’s what he said right before charges were levied! Now, for me. His Launch Angle was 6.7. That’s pretty flat. Great for line drives (23.7%), not great for fly balls (26.2%). Major league averages were 21.4% and 35.7%, respectively. Or disrespectively, LeMahieu sucks for fly balls. He had the 7th lowest rate in the majors, surrounded by Tommy Pham and Jean Segura. As you can imagine, the bottom ten for fly ball rate is not packed full of 20-homer guys. In fact, Eric Hosmer had the most homers of that bottom ten with 22 HRs in 619 ABs. That’s hilariously bad. If you’re hitting worm killers, you’re not hitting homers. LeMahieu’s HR/FB last year was 19.3%, which is goofy high for him. His career mark is 9.6% (that’s including his goofy 2019, too — if Siri just read you that, you’re like, “Whoa, the year is 20192? How long was I asleep for?”). If he has the same fly ball rate, and there’s little reason to think it would be higher, and his career HR/FB%, LeMahieu is gonna hit 14 homers. He’s not a 19-homer guy going on 25 homers; he’s a 19-homer guy going on 15 homers. Of course, that’s gonna ding his RBIs. I won’t talk crap about his average; he can hit .300. He had a .322 xBA last year, which was 2nd best in the league (behind Cody Bellinger). All of his line drives will keep LeMahieu’s batting average afloat. It definitely won’t be his speed. He was 342nd in the majors for sprint speed, the same as Jay Bruce. I will now cackle until it turns to a wheezing cough and someone calls the paramedics. I’m glad that he’s made Noisemaker and Piñata proud, but LeMahieu is wildly overrated for 2020 fantasy baseball.