A fantasy baseball It Was A Good Day.
Just wakin’ up in tha mornin’, gotta thank Junior Vlad,
I don’t know but today seems kinda odd,
No barkin’ from any pitchers’ elbows makin’ me look for replacements,
And momma cooked a breakfast and left it by my door — her basement’s,
I got my grub on, but didn’t pig out,
My insulin, I didn’t need to dig out,
Rollin’ around in a field of daffodils,
Not even worried about lactose that I can’t metabolise,
Rememberin’ what it’s like to feel alive,
Lookin’ for a prospect who’s got speed, power and line drives,
Forgettin’ that I have allergies, and a doctor-restricted diet of 1500 calories,
Not sneezing, thinkin’ about the best rookies for 2023 fantasy baseball galleries.
Findin’ an empty cola can to use as an ashtray,
Talkin’ about the best 2023 fantasy baseball prospect, gotta say It Was A Good Day.
Last year’s top rookie in my rookie outlook series was Bobby Witt Jr. (Julio Rodriguez was #2 with the caveat that I wasn’t sure if he was breaking camp; he did, and broke the internet). Year before that, it was Randy Arozarena, before that Luis Robert. The year before was Vlad Jr.; the year before–You get the picture! Every year there’s a #1 rookie going into the upcoming season. Ergo/Therego: Welcome to the 2023 fantasy baseball rookie series and Corbin Carroll for 2023 fantasy baseball! This feels a little more precarious than past years because I like my next rookie (Gunnar Henderson) a lot too, and there doesn’t feel like a clearcut HOLY SCHNIKES THIS GUY’S GONNA BLOW US AWAY. I said to Prospect Itch what I was thinking, “Corbin Carroll’s less than Julio Rodriguez and Bobby Witt Jr. but is better than Gunnar, right?” And he agreed. That doesn’t mean these guys can’t be fantastic. These guys are future superstars in their own right. Gunnar will be in my next post, but today’s: So, what can we expect from Corbin Carroll for 2023 fantasy baseball?
First, let’s lube up your man and five lady parts with some highlights:
Top @Dbacks prospect Corbin Carroll hit this ball 481 feet last night ? pic.twitter.com/0vItzndtyq
— Bally Sports Arizona (@BALLYSPORTSAZ) June 10, 2022
Second, how about those wheels?
No. 1 @Dbacks prospect Corbin Carroll hustles around the bases with an elite 30 ft/sec sprint speed for an inside-the-park homer for the @Aces: pic.twitter.com/Ua8phyPZeI
— MLB Pipeline (@MLBPipeline) July 29, 2022
He’s a Lab Baby. That’s what I call him. He was made in a lab to play baseball. Fernando Tatis Jr. was a Lab Baby. Ronald Acuña Jr.? Oh, you know that baby was made in a lab! Corbin Carroll should not have that kind of power and that speed. Those two things together are not normal. Think about the power one has to generate to hit a ball 481 feet? Yo, your noodle arms ain’t doing it! Most guys with blazing speed aren’t. Okay, maybe my eyes are deceiving me, but did Corbin Carroll one-hand a ball that looked like a pop-up and ended up 481 feet? He did, didn’t he? That’s not wearing flannel and saying it’s normcore. It’s not normcore it’s Lab Baby shizz. Yo, don’t put your stuffing in a 165-pound body and one-arm a baseball 481 feet and not expect me to drool. Who are you, The Fugitive one-arming shizz? I’m flummoxed by the amount of power he generates on that swing.
So, the power’s pretty cool. Good stuff, can’t be anything else. Then you set your eyes on his speed and you’re like, “I would like to buy hydrogen chloride and 40/40 sperm, because I want to make a Lab Baby for myself.” He was on 2nd base when the ball finally hit the wall! Are you kidding me? Seriously, is this a joke because I’m not laughing. Of course that was an inside-the-park homer, the fielders had no chance. The only fielder getting to that ball fast enough is Corbin Carroll playing in the outfielder against Corbin Carroll. Is this Inception? No? Then no one is getting there! It’s ludicrous how fast he was around the bases. It was like this, “And the ball caroms off the wall…and Carroll is around 2nd.” What?! Oh, that’s Lab Baby.
So, when you put hydrogen chloride and 40/40 sperm into the same test tube, there’s one problem. You stretch the possibilities of man too far and sometimes too thin and they…snap. Not snap like an angry Karen at a Wal-Mart, but like Tatis, and Acuña. Man can only go so fast and hit the ball so hard before bones begin to snap, and Corbin Carroll has already hurt his shoulder. He missed almost all of 2021 with posterior capsular avulsion fracture, which is essentially him swinging too fast for his shoulder and tearing up shizz. It’s not great, if I’m being honest. It doesn’t mean it has to be reoccurring, but, solemn pause, how does it not happen again? Well, hopefully it doesn’t, but all Lab Babies have this problem. They’re doing things never seen before, because the human body can only do so much. Run fast or hit the ball far, but only brief Lab Baby glimpses are when the two meet. Think of Mike Trout when he had 40-steal speed. How long did that Lab Baby last? I mean, he’s still great, but he’s not a 40/40 threat anymore.
Since the Dbags already called up Corbin Carroll, there will be no question he starts the year with the club in April. They even did a phony platoon with him to save his rookie eligibility so he could start the year with the major league team, win the Rookie of the Year and get them some extra draft picks. His talent will be undeniable. If he holds together, he could be a 30/30/.280 rookie. The skill is so insanely obvious in just those two clips I showed you. For 2023, I’m going to play it cautious and give him the conservative projections of 81/21/71/.271/27 in 527 ABs with a chance for much more.
