Did one of you em-effers say something bad about Austin Riley and/or good about Johan Camargo? Because if you did, you’re gonna have to answer to Bazooka and Cannon, which is what I call my biceps, as I point to them in a mirror, while wearing a burlap sack filled with limes, because if anything can kill Corona, it’s limes. I’m a genius! You know how hard players are gonna push back on a universal DH? Imagine a feather pushing against Paul Donald Wight II aka Big Show. Unless I’m misunderstanding what a Universal DH is. “A Universal DH sounds amazing! I always loved The Mummy franchise! Can Brendan Fraser be the DH for the Marlins?” That’s me misunderstanding a Universal DH. Why I say there will be no pushback on a Universal DH is because it means one more hitter getting stats, which is good for contracts. It’s an unmitigated win for players. With a universal (still playing with capping it every time or only sometimes; feels like it should be capped, because it’s such a big thing) DH (talk about a parenthetical interrupting the flow of a sentence, huh?), Austin Riley has to be at least near the top of the list of guys getting extra at-bats. Praise be, it’s gonna rain sexy time in Hot Atlanta! Or will it…Let’s take this sucker to ‘graph numero dos…So, what can we expect from Austin Riley in 2020 fantasy baseball and what makes him a great dart throw?
Last year Austin Riley was a story of two halves split in half around the halfway point, even though he wasn’t around for all of the 1st half. That’s confusing by half! Austin Riley was called up in May and hit seven homers in 15 games like a lightning bolt shot out of Aristides Aquino GGOATOAT’s ass. Riley followed that Daniel Nava’s storybook first game and said, “Tuffy Rhodes, you need to pull my car around because I’m about to go off with a 7-homer month of June in 28 games.” 14 homers in the first month and a half and Riley was off and running! Then he Mary Decker’d into July’s grass and never got up again. This is a paragraph that a young Dennis Miller would’ve appreciated. So, which Riley can we expect in 2020? The one that went ding-dong that pitch is dead or the one that was looking for his keys during every at-bat while being locked out? Honestly, for his price, it doesn’t matter. But Riley was not a guy everyone expected to be garbage. On the contrary, he hit .293 and 15 homers in 44 Triple-A games prior to his promotion, and .282 and 12 homers the year before in Triple-A. Some of those numbers are a little misleading. He is a bit prone to the strikeout, but he also seems to get comfortable after some time and shouldn’t be a .226 hitter, as he was last year with a 36.4% strikeout rate. He could settle in as a 23-26% strikeout rate guy who hits .255+ with power. He would seem to be the Braves’ best bet for a Universal DH, definitely better than Frankenstein or Abbott & Costello. Definitely worth a dart throw this year.
