It’s super fun to put all our prospect eggs in C*nt Hurdle’s basket, isn’t it?  A basket of desirables, if you will.  “I’m sorry I said that deplorables comment in my one unguarded moment all campaign.  It won’t happen again,” and with that — beep-beep-booooop — Hillary-bot powered down.  Up front, I’m going to get out of the way the biggest drawback for Austin Meadows.  I don’t think he has an everyday job unless Andrew McCutchen gets hurt or traded.  “Why you gots to prospblock me, yo?”  That’s Austin Meadows.  Or maybe Meadows sneaks in if the same injury fate befalls Gregory Polanco or Starling Marte, but I don’t be-fault you for thinking McCutchen gets moved or nothing happens with Meadows in 2017.  Shoot (not you, Raylan Givens!), Meadows may not see a full-time job until 2019 when he’ll still only be 24.  That obviously would be a waste of his talent, but I’m talking real world circumstances and you have Hurdle and the hurdle of McCutchen’s contract going through to 2018.  Sure, maybe McCutchen gets moved to a corner outfield slot, but then what?  Marte moves to center and Meadows is still without a job.  Does this all sound like it’s leading up to a fun 2017 projection for Meadows?  Or put more segue-y… Anyway, what can we expect from Austin Meadows for 2017 fantasy baseball?

Absolutely nothing from him in 2017 seems too conservative since he is a great talent.  Actually, his talent is the only reason we’re talking about him.  If he was even a B-level prospect, there would be no reason to talk about him, because he is so prospblocked in the Pirates’ outfield.  In the minor leagues (across Double and Triple-A), he had 12 homers and 17 steals in only 293 ABs.  “Excuse me, Mr. Meadows, can you put down the video game controller for a moment and explain your video game numbers?”  At FanGraphs, they said, “Despite a prodigious posterior and a body that mostly suggested (Meadows) would hit for power,” blah blah blah it hadn’t shown up yet.  I guess he needed to put his back into to it, as the rappers say.  Honestly, I found that quote so puzzling I Googled Meadows + butt, and it returned results for Audrey Meadows’ badonkadonk.  Yo, Audrey Meadows was hot!  Wow!  Can I get a humm-a-na-humm-a-na?  But Austin Meadows?  He got a baby badonkadonk that couldn’t booty bump with Jonathan Broxton if they were on a dance floor simultaneously.  Weird for me to say this since I am white, but that above FanGraphs quote is so white, it should’ve been written in mayonnaise while watching Seinfeld.  Back to Austin Meadows, his booty aside, the power did come in 2016 as the previous stats show.  Oh, that’s right, the power came for him as a 21-year-old!  Meadows has NL Rookie of the Year in 2017 written all over him if the Pirates move McCutchen in a trade, and not just for real world value, but Meadows will be a fantasy beast.  Though, as I said in the 1st paragraph, it may not come until 2018 or even 2019.  If it’s 2019, it’s a damn waste, if it’s 2018, it’s understandable, if it’s 2017, then giddy up in all leagues!  For 2017, I’ll give him the projections of 19/3/15/.289/6 in 105 ABs, though you multiple those by five if he has an everyday job in April and things get pretty pretty, pretty fast.  Nah’mean?