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Psst!  This post is gonna list 2nd basemen that you should target in your 2013 fantasy baseball drafts.  I’m whispering because you don’t want everyone to see this post.  No, I can’t whisper louder.  Then it WOULDN’T BE WHISPERING!  Okay, gig’s up (or maybe that’s jig’s up), the love I’m about to reiterately (Made Up Word of the Day!) confirm are guys I love later in drafts.  Am I drafting any of these guys in the first 10 rounds?  Probably not (except for Josh Rutledge — hello, beautiful! Come here, let Grey massage your balls…The balls of your feet, silly!).  These are players that you’re looking at later and all of them have ADPs after 150.  Some could be the 2nd baseman on your team, they are more than likely MIs.  MI, a name I give my middle infielder.  This is a (legal-in-all-countries-except-Spanish-speaking-ones) supplement to the top 20 2nd basemen for 2013 fantasy baseball.  Click on the player’s name where applicable to read more and see their 2013 projections.  Anyway, here’s some 2nd basemen to target for 2013 fantasy baseball:

Josh Rutledge – (Yahoo ADP 184; MDC 227; ESPN 248)  Hmm, where did I hear his name before?  Oh, I know!  I have his name written above where my back meets my crack.  Yo, that shizz ain’t whack.  Smack…that pitch up!  Sorry, in my mind, I was suddenly wearing a dookie phat gold chain and shell-toe Adidas. (Why did I just spell out Adidas by saying in my head, “All day I dream about sex?”  Because I’m awesome!  And so is Rutledge.)

Dan Uggla – (MDC 204; ESPN 171) Did you know Dan Uggla’s middle name is “Staple it together and call it bad weather?”  Let’s see if we can learn anything from his median name besides he’s a Jack Johnson fan (and maybe I shouldn’t have used the thesaurus for middle.)  His average is falling like a rock in a liquid of little viscosity.  His power doesn’t seem to be there as it once was.  He’s gotten old, frankly, and don’t call me Frank Lee.  I projected him for 82/26/88/.227/3.  At an ADP of ~200, there’s a decent chance for a .245 hitter with 30 homers, which is really close to my projections and completely doable/usable.  I’m not reaching for Uggla, but I’d take the flyer at 200-ish.  BTW, ~ is a freakin’ mustache and is the best punctuation in the world.  Eff you, interrobang lovers?!

Emilio Bonifacio – (MDC 249; Yahoo 269; ESPN 246)  I’m pretty surprised by how far down Bonifacio is in drafts.  Let me just try to understand this, everyone is totally convinced Melky Cabrera is going to be fine returning from suspension, and is locked into the two-hole of the Blue Jays lineup?  Bonifacio is no guarantee, but he stole 30 bases in 64 games last year.  So I’m not going to prorate that to 110 steals in 160 games, but there’s no reason why he’s getting drafted on average after the 200 slot.  Who would you rather have at MI, Erick Aybar, who’s being drafted in the 120’s, or Bonifacio?  And, just like that, I give you Good Face.

Jedd Gyorko – (MDC 265; Yahoo 337) Listen, Gyorko!  Oh, man, that never gets old.  Listen, Gyorko!  It’s still fresh!  Listen, Gyorko!  Okay, it’s old now.  Oh, well.  Few notes on Jerko, he may not make the Padres team out of the spring.  Even if he does, he’s going be playing in Petco.  I love him as a late flyer in leagues where you actually can draft him (which isn’t many because I don’t think he’s even in the Yahoo player universe).  I could see taking a flyer on him as an MI in all mixed leagues, then if he doesn’t pan out you just drop him and pick up someone like Cozart, who will be on waivers in most mixed leagues anyway.

Gordon Beckham – (ESPN 259; Yahoo 338; MDC 338) I will bet you a large amount of money that you won’t be able to collect from me that Beckham is available in every draft you do for next to nothing.  He’s an afterthought at this point.  No one wants him.  He just came off a season when he had his lowest strikeout percentage (15.3, which is very respectable) and had his highest home run output (16), while chucking in 5 steals.  That doesn’t sound terrible for a last round of a draft.  What if I told you he’s only 26 years old?  You’re suddenly wondering why no one is talking about him.  Well, he hit .234.  That’s hideous, but he was also very unlucky.  When correcting for luck, he should’ve hit .264.  If he were to take a step forward and hit 18 homers and .265, you can do a lot worse with your last pick for the MI slot.  Also, if he starts hitting for a better average, there’s no reason why he can’t take over the two hole from Crappinger.  Looking for a post-hype sleeper?  Here ya go.

Dustin Ackley – (ESPN 265; Yahoo 204)  Up front, I’ll be honest, I forced myself to find positive things for Ackley.  A) He’s hitting leadoff.  Yes, I’m overlooking who he’s hitting leadoff for.  B) He always had decent BABIPs in the minors.  By that standard, he was very unlucky last year.  Potentially a difference of fifty points on his average.  C) There’s no C.  D) He has some pop and speed.  15/15 wouldn’t shock me.  Looking for a guy that could be this year’s Kipnis?  Here he is.  E) Wait, was that last one really all for D?  It felt like two points.  F) The Mariners will play Ackley this year no matter what becomes of Nick Franklin and Stefan Romero. G) One of our writers, Jaywrong, projected Ackley for 97/17/68/.286/19.  That would give him top five 2nd baseman value.  H) ello.