by: Grey
It feels like yesterday the baseball regular season started. You wrote “I heart baseball” in permanent marker on your arm, then you met a girl who wrote “I heart guys who heart baseball” on her arm, then, during sex in September, you screamed out “I love you, Tulo!” Please, blog, may I have some more?
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by: Stephen
For the frequent readers and commenters of my weekly installments of Scouting the Unknown, I am retiring them until this spring. Now, it’s time for the Minor League Reviews. For those of you who had Grey’s articles and advice to keep your attention away from my articles, during this fall and winter, I will have your undivided attention on Wednesday; well, almost undivided attention – you could always scroll down to Grey’s article, or ask Grey in my article too. Please, blog, may I have some more?
by: Grey
The final results are in and I tested negative! Oh, wait, this is for the fantasy baseball leagues. Um, yeah, ignore that first sentence. This year in an unprecedented move of unprecedented size and bubbles. We’re giving away a hot tub to the Fantasy Razzball winner. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Welcome to the year end Razzball Awards! Or as they call them in New Jersey, the “What’s this crap?” Unlike the ESPYs, you won’t have to wear a tux or listen to Derek Jeter try to be funny. Speaking of Viagra — Vlad’s got one good leg and he’s not wearing a shoe on it. Please, blog, may I have some more?
I was thinking the other day that Jason Heyward is so young that he doesn’t remember George Bush, Sr. being president. I mean, he’s heard of him (I think), but he was only 3-years-old when he left office. Amongst other things, Heyward missed John Travolta’s career downturn with talking babies, Sean Penn protecting Madonna, Timothy Dalton playing Bond and Billy Crystal as a leading man. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Andres Torres went 2-for-4 with the delicious slam & legs. My man has slams and legses for days! This is his 2nd homer and 2nd steal since he’s returned from his appendectomy. Somehow he’s a Latin 32, but he played this season like an Asian 52, which isn’t an official Razzball glossary term, but comes from my belief that all Asians look much younger until they hit 53-years-old then they look much older than they are. Please, blog, may I have some more?
by: Grey
This is it, fellas and three girl readers. The last train is leaving the station. The giddy has just about got up and went. It’s your last chance and I’d throw every single pitcher, not just the ones I have listed here if it meant the difference in my league. Please, blog, may I have some more?
by: Grey
I told you two days ago to own Justin Smoak in his series in Texas. Three straight games, three homers. To paraphrase Young MC from We’re All In The Same Gang, “I try my best to set an example, talkin’ up hyped players over hip-hop samples.” Please, blog, may I have some more?
by: Stephen
Casey Kelly | RHP-SP | Boston Red Sox | D.o.B: 10-4-89 | 6’3” | 195 lbs | B/T: R/R | 1st rd, pk 30, 2008 from H.S. | BOS #2 ranked prospect according to Baseball America (2010) | MiLB Player Page
Ranked in the Top 50 Fantasy Baseball Prospects list, Kelly actually regressed quite a bit this year. Please, blog, may I have some more?
by: Grey
Kila Ka’aihue went 3-for-3, 4 Runs, 4 RBIs and 2 homers. Also, he just missed a third homer that ended up a triple. Mauna Kila! He hasn’t hit for much average so far in the major leagues. Or is it ma’ajor leagues? Please, blog, may I have some more?
Miguel Cabrera rolled his ankle the hard way, didn’t make his point and was immediately lifted from the game to have x-rays taken. I have some back-of-a-comic-book x-ray glasses, but I wasn’t wearing them when it happened. I’m only one man! Please, blog, may I have some more?
by: Grey
Yahoo’s fantasy baseball doesn’t count a one game playoff, no matter the format. It would be the Keyser Söze of regular season games, I suppose. ESPN, on the other hand, does count it. So that means only one thing. You need to pick up everyone from potential one game playoff teams before your leaguemates, if it could mean a championship for you. Please, blog, may I have some more?
