Fantasy Baseball Advice

Lastings Milledge was sent to the minors yesterday clearing room for Elijah Dukes to cover for him in center and probationary hearings.  Luckily, on his way out of town, Milledge stopped by Razzball HQ with some “word science.”  After you read the rhymes Milledge dropped, feel free to drop him.

Dukes has a good 3 days, so he gets a buffer?
I’m da original Bowden Fluffer!
My rhymes are so hard they break bats,
Why you go out and sign that Three-True Outcome Fats?
To the minors, you’re sending moi?
I’m declaring a fatwa!

Don’t push me, cuz I’m close to the edge,
I’m trying not to lose my head,
Uh huh ha ha ha…
It’s like a jungle sometimes it makes me wonder,
Why MLB didn’t let this team go under.

Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Tom Glavine – Career might be over.  Take a moment, go to the front lawn, pocket some dirt in honor of Glavine’s career, then drop him.

Chris Carpenter – From the top 60 starters post, “There’s plenty of pitchers to choose from, give Carpenter a year to prove himself.  That’s all, one year.  Or maybe until the All-Star Break.  Just don’t draft him out of the gate.” Do I need to continue?  Carpenter left yesterday’s game with a strained oblique.  That’s vaguely a belly ache.  I wouldn’t drop him, but I would hope he gets placed on the DL so you can at least free up a spot.

Jesse Litsch – Wasn’t worth owning prior to forearm tightness and now he’s on the 15-day DL.  Call in Reggie Roby.

Xavier Nady – Left with elbow pain.  In the 1st basemen to target post, I said, ” I think (Swisher) takes the job from Nady when Nady’s exploited for not being what he was last year.”  And that’s me quoting me!  I wouldn’t be surprised at all if Nady’s one of the bigger busts this year outside of Billy Butler’s moobs.   Nady was injury-prone prior to last year and last year was a career year.  Do the math!

Nick Swisher – 4th HR yesterday.  Read again what I wrote about Nady.

Daisuke Matsuzaka – One inning, 5 earned.  I’m not going to quote or link to anything, but I told you to avoid Dice-K this year.  You do what you do, I do what I do.  Word on the Bean Streets is he’s suffering from “arm fatigue.”  Clay Buchholz may be getting the call to replace him for a couple of starts.

Scott Podsednik – Jeopardy contestant, “Questionable Manager Moves for $100.”  Alex Trebek, “The answer is ‘The White Sox signed Scott Podsednik.’”  Contestant, “How could Ozzie Guillen find a worst centerfielder, leadoff man than DeWayne Wise?”

Vladimir Guerrero – Admitted this offseason to lying about his age and is now coping to a Latin 34.  He seems like a nice guy, but, man, he’s been looking like a Latin 40.

Ricky Romero – 8 IP, 2 ER.  C’mon, that’s a made-up name!  It’s too perfect.  Good results for “Ricky” so far as he’s kept his walks in check.  His minor league numbers say trouble isn’t too far away.  In AL-Only leagues, he’s worth a flier, but don’t get too excited.

Glen Perkins – Also 8 IP, 2 ER.  Another great start for The Pancake House.  Again, don’t invest too heavily.  He’s like Slowey-lite.

Nelson Cruz – Hit his 4th homer.  If he’s on waivers in any leagues, he shouldn’t be.  If you have a power void on your team, I’d trade for Cruz.

A.J. Burnett – No hitter into the 7th.  I’d look to trade him if you’re fine on starters.  Five dollars says he doesn’t get through May.

Carlos Villanueva – 1 IP, 3 ER.  Kazaam!

Javier Vazquez – 12 Ks in the loss.  Ah, those patient Marlins hitters.

Emilio Bonifacio – 2-for-5 to drop his average to .485.  The correction is complete!

Melvin Mora – To the DL with a hamstring injury.  Wigginton will field the spot for a few weeks.  That’s no endorsement of Wigginton unless you’re desperate.  Then again, if you were playing Mora, you probably are desperate.

Manny Parra – 6 IP, 3 ER.  Two runs scored on walks to Taveras and Hairston, two guys that need to be knocked down to take a pitch.  In summation, Parra really needs to cut down on his walks.

Chris Davis – 2nd HR in two days.  Now don’t you feel bad for hating him three days ago?

Mark Reynolds – HR yesterday.  Okay, Davis 2, Reynolds 1… Now go to your corners and when you hear the bell come out swinging.

Jacoby Ellsbury – Stole his fourth bag as he bats .194.  I could see him hitting .260 and stealing 40 this year.  Oh, and Jacoby Ellsbury says, “It’s April 15th, do your taxes!”

The only people that are heaped with more scorn than nerds at Adams College are fantasy pitchers who are drafted in the top 6 rounds only to severely disappoint.  It may not be fair to the pitchers but it definitely offers up some bargains come draft time for those that can see that they are champions and will keep on fighting ’til the end.  Aaron Harang and Erik Bedard are your Louis and Gilbert.  Granted Harang was facing the Pirates, but a 3 hit no walk shutout with 9 K’s has got to be a great sign for those that gambled on a comeback.  Erik Bedard – who has been great when healthy – tosses 8 1/3 shutout innings agains the A’s with 3 hits and a walk.  Assuming these two can stay healthy (no small challenge for Bedard or a pitcher on Dusty’s staff), their fantasy owners will be eating pie this year.  Anyway, here’s what else we saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Brandon Webb – To the DL with a sore right shoulder.  I warned people back in February not to make this guy your top starter, “As for Webb, I’m legitimately worried about him.  So much of his value is derived from good Win karma,” but obviously the Eight Ball didn’t even predict things would be this bad.  For those thinking it’s a good Buy opportunity because his owners are now discounting him.  Let’s drop some Liquid Paper on your brain and correct that.  Pitchers + arm, shoulder or elbow injuries = Don’t Want.

Kyle Lohse – 3-hit shutout.  Coming off a 15-6 / 3.78 ERA with a low K rate (only 119 out of 200), he seemed ripe for regression in 2009.  Go with Lohse when he’s on a roll and don’t be afraid to bench or cut bait after a bad start or two.

Milton Bradley – Left Sunday’s game with a leg injury.  In other news, ice is cold.

Tom Glavine – Left rehab start with sore shoulder.  I don’t think anyone was actually waiting on this guy, but, if you were, postdate your expectations.

Evan Longoria – 5th HR this week.  Orioles pitchers don’t hurt anyone’s numbers except Orioles pitchers, but that is still an impressive first week.  I liked Longoria at the end of the 2nd round and felt he wasn’t that far off from Wright.  Color me vindicated.

Dexter Fowler – Joining in on the mean violin, hit his 2nd HR this week.  If he can continue to pound his way into the lineup, we might be looking at the NL ROY.  As I said about my Cinnabon today, that’s some kind of delicious.

Tim Lincecum – It’s called a panic move.  What, Grey?  What is? Trading Lincecum for fifty cents on the dollar. You need to be patient.  Though getting hit by the Padres is not a good sign.  He’ll get his K’s, but hope you’re not banking on 18 Wins happening again.

Kevin Gregg – Making even his owners wish Piniella would go with Marmol so they can drop him.  Don’t.  Not yet.  When Piniella says no more, then you can drop him. Not until then.

Rafael Soriano – Recorded the save yesterday.  I have him in two leagues.  Mike Gonzalez is iffy at best and usually injured at worst.  Soriano’s not much better, but he’ll vulture some saves.

Alfonso Soriano – Another HR, bringing his tally to 4.  I’m marking Soriano down as my NL MVP in my head.  Injuries always seem to befall him, but if he runs a little less and stays healthy he can have a monster year.  As I projected in my top 20 overall post — 110/32/85/.275/15 are crazysexysolid numbers for him.

Huston Street – Loses the game for the Rockies.  The Rockies really need Street to be their closer so they can trade him for a worthwhile piece before the trading deadline to make up for trading Holliday for Nadir Bupkus.

Brandon Inge – Another HR.  As Rudy told you the other night, Inge can help while hot.  No reason not to drop some lesser catchers for him — Navarro, AJ, Skinny Molina…

Chase Headley – He sounds like a porn star, but may actually prove to be a fantasy star this year as well.  HRs in two straight games are a good sign.  His playing time is all but guaranteed.  We’ve seen this kind of thing before – Kouz in 2007 – so we’re still a bit skeptical.  Like any hitter with promise, grab him off FA and see how he does for a week or two.

Chris Young – 7 IP, 4 Hits, 7 Ks.  Another quality start from Tally.  When I pegged him a fantasy sleeper, this is what I expected.  For real for real.

Randy Wolf – Randy like the Wolf!  Randy like the Wolf!  7 IP, 1 ER, 5 Ks.  Real tough to start him against Haren last night, but if you did you reaped some rewards.  If you continue to trot Wolf out against 2/3 of his NL opponents, you’ll reap more.

Trevor Cahill – Two solid starts for the 21 year old Athletic who hadn’t made a start past AA prior to this year.  His long-term future looks bright but 3 Ks and 8 BBs in 12 IP is a harbinger for a stormy short-term future.

Delmon Young – HR yesterday.  Just think, he didn’t hit his first home run last year until June 7th.  I know, not super reassuring, but it’s a positive.

Josh Johnson – Outdueled Johan Santana with a 1-run, 7K complete game.  We marked him as a prime comeback candidate after a lengthy recovery from Tommy John surgery.  If he keeps pitching like this, people will stop confusing him with the Casey kid from Dawson’s Creek.

David Aardsma – Nabbed his 2nd save already.  Not bad for someone who isn’t even the closer.  He’s ruining the joke that you can’t spell Aardsma without Triple-A.  That said, Morrow should have a fairly long leash so don’t expect too many more from Aardsma (an aardvark that’s short of breath?)

The blog is about fantasy baseball, but it’s sometimes hard to ignore what goes on in the real baseball world. Frankly, if we weren’t baseball fans first, we wouldn’t give a rat’s ass about fantasy baseball. So, with a heavy heart I write, yesterday was a tough day to be a fan. Taint on lots of big names, past and present — Bonds, Clemens, Pettitte, McGwire, Bagwell, Gagne, Sosa, Justice, Tejada and, um, F.P. Santangelo. The list goes on for pages. If you want to read The Mitchell Report in its entirety, you can here. It’s lengthy and pretty depressing, kinda like if Ken Burns did a seven-part documentary on Tonya from The Real World. But today is a new day, and I’m going to try and put a positive spin on things. Here is a list of some players NOT in The Mitchell Report. If you will, a tribute.

Greg Maddux – 347 wins going into 2008. In 1998, while McGwire racked up 70 homers, Maddux went 18-9 with a 2.22 ERA and 208 strikeouts. Good to hear the Padres are bringing him back for another year. Maybe he’ll pass Clemens on the all-time wins list.

Tom Glavine – 303 wins, 2570 career Ks, and a lifetime 3.51 ERA. In 1998, Sosa hit 66 homers, but went 0 for 4 against Glavine with three strikeouts. In the Cubs second game against Glavine in 1998, Sosa sat out to give Matt Mieske some at-bats.

Randy Johnson – 4616 career strikeouts. Hopefully, he can make it back for his 300th win. It would be nice to see. In 2001, while Bonds hit 73 homers, Randy struck out 372 batters, which is eleventh most for a season and the most since Nolan Ryan in 1973.

Pedro Martinez – From 1997 to 2003, the heart of the having-a-trainer-inject-my-ass-with-something era, Pedro had ERAs of 1.90, 2.89, 2.07, 1.74, 2.39, 2.226 and 2.22 respectively.

Trevor Hoffman and Mariano Rivera – Combined they have over 900 saves and zero mentions in The Mitchell Report. What’s that? Gagne had trouble bouncing back day after day? Trevor smiles at Mariano then, “Try it for twelve years.”

Cy Young Winners from 1996 ‘til present – Jake Peavy, Johan Santana, Brandon Webb, Chris Carpenter, John Smoltz, C.C. Sabathia, Roy Halladay and Barry Zito.

Alex Rodriguez – Canseco claims Arod should be in the Mitchell Report, but he’s not. I say we give him the benefit of the doubt. BTW, he’s arguably the best hitter in the game. When you’re in that argument, you’re pretty good.

Albert Pujols – See that premature balding is hereditary! BTW, second best hitter in the game.

Todd Helton – In 2001, he batted 132/49/146/.336. Too bad it was overshadowed.

Vladimir Guerrero – Some players medicate when they’re hobbled by injuries, some hobble. Here’s one for the hobblers.

Ichiro Suzuki – For not being in The Mitchell Report — arrigato.

Ryan Howard and Prince Fielder – If they test positive, it’s because their steak was injected on the way to the slaughterhouse.

Frank Thomas – Okay, so he’s the Henry Hill of all of this, but it’s still a shame his 500 home runs came at a time when that was a ticket for Copperstown consideration and not a ticket to Copperstown.

Manny Ramirez – The thought of Manny trying to inject himself with something is ludicrous. Actually, the thought of Manny thinking is pretty ludicrous, but Manny get a hug from Big Papi for not being in The Report.

David Ortiz – While we’re here, someone Big Papi wasn’t hugging was McNamee.

Ken Griffey Jr. – Maybe if Griffey took the shortcut many of colleagues did to help recuperate from injury, he would be approaching 800 home runs. Maybe his self-respect meant too much.

I wish these players above had received more recognition then and now. There’s lots of names I’m failing to mention. Please feel free to comment below some names that weren’t on The Mitchell Report.