In this month’s closer look, let’s discuss trading for closers. Now before people think my battleship has sunk, I’m not saying to pay top dollar for closers. But with us heading into July, it should be pretty clear how badly you need saves. Luckily, saves are one of the categories (steals are another) where you can make up ground quickfast. If you’re ten or more saves behind a pack of people and can gain three or more points with an additional closer or two, then you should be thinking about trading for a couple. I’d look to trade one player from your strengths for two closers. Think Shields for two donkey-corns. Or a donkey-corn and a brain freeze. It really depends on your strengths and weaknesses. And since saves do come in bunches, if you’re finding yourself picking up plenty of ground in saves, then in August, you can trade away a closer or two for a different piece. Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:
You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad? Please, blog, may I have some more?
Kelvim Escobar was sent to the bullpen. His value goes from potentially good to potentially nothing. Scioscia said Escobar will be pitching out of the bullpen for the rest of the season. Scioscia also said Brandon Wood would start at shortstop two years ago and said Arredondo, the guy now in the minors, would be the closer and he said Rex Hudler’s got the best herb, when he wants to get wiggy with Figgy. Escobar will probably start games again in a month or two. But even if that is the case, he’s about as good to you now as those X-ray glasses you bought out of the back of a comic book when you were twelve. Matt Palmer gets a boost in value, which is to say he actually has value now. Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Orioles love their ex-Cubbies so they decided to sample some of their Pecan’t Pie rather than just hand the LF job to Nolan Reimold. As with most of these rookies, a lot depends on starting jobs. And Reimold doesn’t have one. Yet. So who’s blocking Reimold? Luke Scott? Who are you, Luke Scott? A 30-something prospect? Luke Scott must’ve called Matt Stairs for advice on how to prolong a major league career that should’ve ended years ago. Go to the DL, Luke. (He’s not there yet, but maybe if we all hold our breath. What Razzballers want, Razzballers get!) Then there’s Felix Pee-ay, who is crap-ay. He was hurt in yesterday’s game. Not to mention, many think his ship has already come and gone for prospect status. If Reimold emerges from this O’s left fielder mess, he’s a slugger who we think could hit for power without costing you too much in the average department. The nice thing about Reimold compared to a rookie pitcher — say, I don’t know, Hochevar! Please, blog, may I have some more?
If you drafted Manny this year, then you better make a new plan, Stan because Man-Ram is getting time off for bad behavior. 50 games to be exact. The reason – he came up positive for human chorionic gonadotropin, or HCG, which can be used to boost testosterone levels. Manny seems to be claiming his doctor prescribed it for erectile dysfunction but the drug is most often prescribed for…women’s fertility. Huh? And here we thought Alyssa Milano was the only person in the LA Dodger clubhouse taking those. Maybe Manny got screwed by a bad boner doctor but our money is on Scott Boras. He probably gave those pills to Manny, told him they were Flintstone vitamins, and Manny hallucinated Flintstone faces onto the vitamins. Please, blog, may I have some more?
I was alerted yesterday in our fantasy baseball forums that Ozzie Guillen will be sitting Alexei Ramirez for Jayson Nix. And it may not be for just one game. This makes perfect sense. A guy who has never played a game at shortstop in the major leagues. A guy who got the Rockies starting job at 2nd last year and hit .125 and 2 extra-base hits in 56 ABs. A guy who couldn’t hold off Omar Quintanilla for the utility man role in Colorado. A guy whose last name says it all. Please, blog, may I have some more?
After a great first week (3 HR, 5 RBI), Troy Tulowitzki has done a whole lot of nothing. From 4/12 to 4/29, 0 HR and 0 RBI. He’s K-ing in 28% of his ABs, almost double his career rate. He’s now sporting a .200 AVG for the year. Please, blog, may I have some more?