Fantasy Baseball Advice

I’ve been footballin’ like it’s 2010 over on the other side of Razzball and was happy to get the baseball side of my brain lubed up. You can see Rotoworld’s Drew Silva’s take on the first half of the mock here and the second half here.  And while you’re clicking random hyperlinks, click here and follow me on twitter.  I’d like to give an extra thank you to frequent commenter, Steve, for being a sounding board for my picks.  Blame him for the ones you don’t like and praise me for the ones you like. Got it?  All in all I feel like this team would be a contender if it were a real fake team. Here are my fellow mockaletes:

Eno Sarris (FanGraphs.com)
Auto-Queue (Computer, and great guy to have a beer with)
Drew Silva (Rotoworld)
Steve Gardner (USA Today)
Tim Dierkes (MLBTradeRumors)
Mike Axisa (River Ave. Blues)
Jesse Spector (New York Daily News)
Sam Miller (Orange County Register)
Chet Gresham (Razzball)
Dan Wade (Bleacher Report)
Thor Nystrom (Rotoworld)
D.J. Short (Rotoworld)

1. (9) Mark Teixeira - I feel good about getting Tex at #9.  I thought hard on Matt Kemp because I love me some multi-tool players but Tex has some nice tools himself.  Ok, enough about men’s tools and how much I like them.  In the New Yankee Donkshop, Tex is a great tool to build the rest of your team.

2. (16) David Wright – My first of many value rebound players, Wright is too good to be no good, cuz he lays wood, even in the Metco hood.  Or something.  I don’t feel that great about third basemen this year anyway, so I’m okay to take a little risk with Wright.

3. (33) Brandon Phillips – At this point in the draft I’m thinking, “Donut delivery, it’s got to be feasible, you wake up Sunday morning and want a pastry, but don’t want to get out in the cold…” And I was also thinking, shortstop is weak and Jose Reyes and Jimmy Rollins are still on the board with four picks before me, but after them it’s a perfect shizz storm of shortstops I’d rather not have.  So as soon as the J.R.’s go, I look toward another weak position and grab the 20/20 stability that is Brando.

4. (40) Justin Morneau - As long as Morneau can stand upright he is good value with the 40th pick.  I think he will and he looks good in a UTIL spot.  Doesn’t it make you feel all warm and fuzzy when you can toss a top guy in UTIL, even if the rest of your team is full of Polancos and Zitos? Maybe it’s just me.  Went with value here.  I shop at Aldis too.

5. (57) Johan Santana – Maybe the Mets made a deal with the devil to win the ’69 World Series and last season (and a whole lot of other seasons) was God (directed by Pat Robertson) smiting them down.  Maybe.  I’ll lean more toward some bad luck and a rebound year with Santana benefiting from Metco, a good offense, and just plain good pitching.

6. (64) B.J. Upton – I’m loving me some B.J. this year, well, all years actually.  He got off to a slow start last season with his shoulder gone wonky and then never got on track.  He’s risky, but you’re guaranteed the 40 stolen bases and I just don’t see his numbers not moving back to his norm.

7. (81) Josh Hamilton – Yes, this team is starting to look like Comeback Tour 2010, but I’m not grabbing players that have no track record of fantasy goodness.  Hamilton was overrated last season and crapped out.  So what is he now?  The 81st pick? Sure.

8. (88) Raul Ibanez – My outfield needed an old veteran who should start the season well and offset any injuries, schizophrenic episodes, or relapses by his brethren.  I needed another steady, reliable player in a offensive ballpark (looking back at Tex) and Ibanez fits the bill.

9. (105) Cole Hamels – His stuff is still there.  He misses bats.  No, he doesn’t have pet bats that he cares for at home; batters swing and miss when trying to hit his balls, which is good no matter how you look at it.

10. (112) Elvis Andrus – I was short on shortstop having missed out on the J.R.’s so I had to decide if I wanted to keep punting or go for it on fourth down with Elvis up the gut and instead he used his speed to take it all the way, because he’s got what we like to call in the business, upside! Could I have waited on him? Maybe, but I need his stolen bases and I like him, so I took him.

11. (129) Scott Baker – If we see second half Scott all season, I’ve got myself some filet mignon at Taco Bell prices.

12. (136) Carlos Marmol – I like Marmol and his K’s, but not a huge fan of his psyche.  I’m betting on his stuff.

13. (153) Jose Valverde – In a ‘perts league I usually like to grab more closers than I would in a league with my uncle who talks shizz, but is usually too drunk to pick SAGNOF off the wire in a timely manner. I won’t be owning the top closers unless they really fall so I don’t feel bad about grabbing multiple closers late.

14. (160) Geovany Soto – I’m hoping that Soto sans baby fat will have a better shot at staying healthy and not sucking.

15. (177) Francisco Cordero – Going back to my grab closers late in a ‘pert league, but in retrospect grabbing another starter might have been smarter since closers lasted a little longer than I thought they would.

16. (184) Garrett Jones – Meh, not the greatest pick of all time, but I like his value this late if he can repeat last season, but in a full season.

17. (201) Johnny Cueto – He’s got the ability, now he just needs to stay healthy and complete a full season with his best stuff.  He’s worth it as a late flier.

18. (208) Neftali Feliz – The guy is Matt Weiters and Roy Hobbs wrapped in a cheesy gordita.  That’s some yummy béisbollin! If this were a real fake team I might have to drop him for some waiver wire wonder, but he is too awesome not to take as my last pick.

I took part in my 3rd mock draft for 2010 fantasy baseball the other day.  Tis the season, ya’ll.  And by the other day, I mean I did this mock about three weeks ago prior to the winter meetings/signings/whosehewhiches.  So if you’re wondering why I drafted Randy Wolf or Rodney, it’s because it’s before they lost value in the last two weeks.  Unlike my other mock drafts, I was a bit more prepared for this one since I’ve done most of the rankings already.  You’ll get those sometime in January.  You can hardly wait!  The teams who participated are listed followed by my team.  Then I’ll point out certain rounds and what the eff was I thinking.  BTW, I have no idea if it was really Dane Cook mock drafting with us or his intern or someone pretending to be Dane Cook or his intern.  Evidence that it was him, he wasn’t funny in the the mock draft chatroom and he did draft a lot of Red Sawx players.   Evidence that it wasn’t him, when I asked him for my money back for the movie tickets I bought to his movie.  He said it wasn’t his fault, the editors took out the good parts.  Then I said, that’s not true, they left you in.  And he said nothing.  I expect the real Dane Cook would’ve said something.  So my guess is it was not Dane In Real Life.  Anyway, here’s a 2010 fantasy baseball mock team with some thoughts:

Round 2 – Matt Holliday – I have no problems with Holliday late in the 2nd round.  No matter what team he ends up on.  He’s good for 25 homers, .315 average and 15 steals.  Slot that next to Hanley and my team’s exiting the 2nd round as good as any other team, if not better.

Round 3 – Joey Votto – Love Votto this year.  Looking at a guy that is going to give me at least 25 homers, .315 and 15 steals.  Wait, that’s Holliday… and Hanley.  Damn, my shizz is dope.  This is stacking up to be the best mock team ever.  You, folks, are witnessing some kind of history.  Or you’re witnessing a recap of a mock draft.  You decide if you want to burst your own bubble.  I would have liked to draft Votto in the 4th round, but when Adrian Gonzalez was taken in the 2nd round, I knew I had to take Votto or risk not having a 1st baseman.

Round 4 – Adam Lind – First off, yes, I believe in the 35 homers.  Second off, my team felt a little light on power, so I wanted a big bat.  Third off, there is no third off.

Round 5 – Johan Santana – Halladay went right after Johan and if this were a real draft, I would’ve taken Halladay first.  My bad, I was eating dinner while drafting and not fully paying attention.  Hey, at least I’m honest.  But while not fully paying attention, I still have the best mock team possibly ever.  I took Johan because I can’t imagine he’s done being a dominant ace and he’s pitching in Metco.  That’s with a falling K-rate or not.

Round 8 – Ian Stewart – Couple of things at play here.  Dan Uggla was just taken before Stewart and the next 2nd baseman on the board after Stewart was Crapolanco.  I knew I wasn’t drafting again for 21 picks.  I had already punted 3rd base and I didn’t want to punt 2nd base too.  Also, Ian Stewart is my 2010 Mini Donkey Award winner.

Round 9 – Chipper Jones – Chipper’s prolly my least favorite pick of this mock.  Was just a case of how the players fell in this draft.  It was Chipper or the next 3rd baseman was Mark DeRosa.  I don’t want Chipper, I really don’t want DeRosa.  Plus, I figured if I had to move Stewart to 3rd and grab a waiver wire 2nd baseman, that would be doable.  Then again, this is just a mock.  Who gives an eff in the cooley hole?

Round 11 – Geovany Soto – As mentioned in the opening paragraph, I’ve done the rankings.  What I found when I did them is I like Soto this year.  He had a shoulder injury last year.  Believe in the bounce back.

Round 14/15 – Nolan Reimold and Garrett Jones – Some other outfielders taken in this round were Denard Dawg, Kubel, Jermaine Dye and Corey Hart.  Two guys who can go 30/10 in the outfield felt like no brainers this late in the draft.  Then again, as my grandmother used to tell me between cigarettes, a no brainer is my specialty.

Round 16 – Johnny Cueto – I believe in the 2009 1st half Cueto, not the 2009 2nd half Cueto.

Round 18 – Jonathan Sanchez – A 200 K pitcher around the 216th overall pick?  Okay, I’ll take that.

Round 20 – Carlos Ruiz – I don’t necessarily like Ruiz, but in a two catcher league you do what you can.

Round 21 - Ian Desmond – Went over him the other day in the Ian Desmond fantasy thingamawhosie.

Round 22 – Homer Bailey – Think the upside comes through one of these years…. Or not.  With the last pick of a 12 team draft, it was worth a shot… Or not.  It’s a mock, ya’ll.