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I’m just going to jump right in with this moron, or morron, as he’d spell it. First, a Karabell title, “Euphoric about Eugenio; closers, Bush, mail.” Eugenio who? Velez, the guy who should have one hand tied to the barrel of a bat so all he can do is bunt. He’s cheap speed. But so is chasing down a rock of crack with Red Bull. You wanna see helicopters? I’ll show you helicopters! Razzball pimped Velez too, back in March. Karabell’s pimping him in July. Since Karabell advised you pick him up three weeks ago, Velez has started three games. Sweet! How about giving Eric Chavez a pickup for some pop? Does anyone know why Luis Polonia’s not in Yahoo? He played baseball as hard as he pedophile’d!

Then Karabell pokes his finger around in Bush to see if it moves. There’s some life there, but how many people can you put in this schmohawk while Jeremy Guthrie is owned in 32.9% of ESPN leagues? Guthrie has 17 Quality Starts. Haren is tops in all of baseball with 19. Since he pimped out his Bush, ten runs in 19 innings. Sweet! The crux of his argument is that Bush is all right by him, but he should be played home and away by Yost. Yeah, double your trouble — literally.  Moving on before I fall into an idiotic coma.

His next post title was, “Ortiz, Chipper, Liriano, weekend watch.” David Ortiz, his choice for AL MVP (seriously, you can’t make up shizz this stupid), was predicted to absolutely go off as soon as he returned from the DL. 1 HR, 6 RBIs since his return three weeks ago. Okay, that works. Cool. Now if I can figure out how to get Matt Holliday into every other hitting spot on my team, I’ll be all set. Thanks. Then he went on to say Jeff Baker was an absolute add. “(Jeff Baker) is hardly a fluke, and the fact he’s hitting .522 since the break and .400 in the No. 2 spot in the order aren’t things suddenly about to end.” Jeff Baker is in a 3-for-36 slump and has been benched in three of the last six games. Awesome! Maybe I can slot him into my Utility slot when Ortiz isn’t playing.

I’ll leave you with this last piece of Eric Karabell anti-advice, “I would never sit Ryan Sweeney of the A’s, assuming he could stay healthy. He takes walks, hits doubles and steals bases. I’d like to see him get 500 at-bats.” Rather than have you look up his stats, I’ll just give them to you. In 272 at-bats, he is 36/3/36/.294/8. Over 500 at-bats, that makes Randy Winn seem exciting. How do I get into a league with Karabell? I can see it now, “What do you think about Ryan Sweeney for Arod?” “Hater, that sounds like a go picture!”  What an effin’ jackfruit. Until next time… Karabell, go get your shinebox!

  1. Nick says:
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    So based on last night’s performance by Nolasco, Campillo & Guthrie would you say pickup Guthrie off waivers ?

  2. Steve says:
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    Trade going down in my league (I’m not involved):
    A-Ram + Jim Johnson for Pierre + Everyday Eddie.
    What say you Razzballers?

  3. @Nick: Of course pick up Guthrie. How is he still available? I started the year as a non-believer (drafted him for my Razzball team) but he’s got a 3.26 ERA and 1.17 WHIP in 163 IP. I also like Nolasco – he should be owned.

    @Steve: Wow, that’s getting A-Ram for CHEAP.

  4. BSA says:
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    This may seem like a silly question but at this point in the year I am ready to ride some different two start pitchers and wonder if I shouldn’t pick up guys like Nolasco, Guthrie, Volstad, etc. each week they are two starters.
    Cueto seems to be hitting his wall for the year and I am thinking I can use his spot as my add/drop while maintaining my pitching staff of Young, Myers, Harang, Liriano (all picked up before coming off the DL), and Harden Sheilds with closers, Fuentes, Broxton, and Soria.

  5. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @BSA: I’d drop Cueto for Guthrie and Nolasco.

  6. Sam says:
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    Marcum or Meche?

  7. RT says:
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    Small sample size, but I just read this and found it interesting on FoxSports:

    In 36 games, Chris Davis is hitting .295 with 11 home runs and a .636 slugging percentage. Projected over a full season we’re looking at a 50-homer, 130-RBI welcome to the bigs.

    He has a .971 OPS at home and the Rangers have 24 games left at Arlington this season.

  8. Joe says:
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    @Steve: Huge advantage value wise for the A-Ram side, the only way i could see that trade as being ok is if the guy who’s getting Pierre and Eddie badly needs steals and saves.

    So, i pulled the trigger on Aviles, Quentin and CC for Han-Ram, Bruce and Cliff Lee. Any other opinions? I’m getting Hanley.

  9. Al says:
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    Nice Goodfellas reference from Beansie.

    Is it safe to assume that Saito will likely resume closing when he returns? Will he be valuable down the stretch?

    I think they should stick with Broxton.

  10. Steve says:
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    @Joe: That’s pretty much the case but it’s still a bit annoying to see the guy in first (league is H2H) get A-Ram for next to nothing.

  11. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Sam: Meche is safer, but slightly yawstipating. Marcum could be ten times better, or he might shit the bed and leave you utterly disgusted.

    @RT: That’s a pretty silly use of a small sample size by Fox Sports, but Texas is a great park to hit in, so he could challenge 35 homers next year.

    @Al: The Dodgers discussed Saito having surgery that could potentially end his career. That’s not surgery usually discussed for someone who’s coming back in a few weeks to close games. I’d say Broxton’s very safe for this year and potentially next year.

  12. Mike says:
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    @Grey: how do you feel about having 2 or 3 guys in the same lineup?? I may trade for Utley but I also have Howard and Rollins. Not a bad 3 to have if your gonna have 3 guys in any lineup but could this be 1 too many Phillies?

  13. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Mike: As long as it’s not three Nats, you’re fine. Those are three solid guys to have.

  14. RT says:
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    @Grey:
    Yup. I’m more inclined to look at his MILB numbers… Dude can flat out rake so I plucked him in my keeper league.

  15. BigFatHippo says:
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    @Grey:

    Did you hear the news on Wainwright?

  16. BigFatHippo says:
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    @Grey:

    Duh, I’m so spaced out when I get off work on Saturday didn’t even check the date on his question.

    Call me Mr. Obvious from now on.

    You’re starting Harang huh?

    His career day games scream stay away and especially last year but @ Minute Maid are not bad.

    I’m staying away mostly because I got Webb and Bills going and I’m +25.

    I have too many pitchers, should I drop Lowe?

  17. YYZ says:
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    Anyone watching the end of the Rays/M’s game? Is Upton eligible at Rover yet? I love it.

  18. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @BigFatHippo: I’d drop Lowe.

    @YYZ: Just got home from boozing. Come again?

  19. YYZ says:
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    Haha…as did I…which is why it made no sense. Bottom of the 10th…1 out 1st and 3rd, tie game. Maddon brought Upton in to stand on second base and played 2 OF’s. Beltre hit into a DP (which unfortunately didn’t involve Upton or it would have been even better). Probably still doesn’t make sense, but it was good stuff.

  20. Joe says:
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    Who am i starting out of Parra, Baker, Cliff Lee and Harang? I’m thinking about trying all of them, but i’ll have to drop somebody if i activate Harang. Rodney or Jensen Lewis?

  21. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @YYZ: Ha! I gotcha now. Yeah, he’s eligible at Rover. But you still need a guy for Short Right, Batter/Pitcher, High School Ump, Uninterested Coach/Parent, Uninterested Parent and Girl Second Baseman. But if you can get Jason Kendall at 2nd then you’ll fill the last one.

    @Joe: Drop Jensen Lewis.

  22. Joe says:
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    Ha! A solid start for Harang i see! I’m glad i left the worthless waste of a soul rotting on my DL.

    Mm. Maybe a tad harsh.

    Meanwhile, the three guys i did start are combining for excellence so far. AND i got to keep Jensen Lewis, who Wedge said will get more opportunities…Savvy management right there!

  23. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Joe: Well played, Joe. Next time give me a heads up on leaving Harang on my bench. Or remind the bed crapping he did for two months prior to the DL stint.

  24. Grey

    Grey says:
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    ********From Rotoworld:

    “Brad Lidge admitted Sunday that his throwing shoulder has been feeling sluggish.
    Lidge won’t be available for Sunday’s game. He apparently developed a mechanical flaw over the past few weeks which is causing some irregular fatigue. “You want to make sure you can nip it in the bud and get through it and come back really strong,” he said. He should be ready to go on Monday.”

    Durbin’s the guy to look at.

  25. Joe says:
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    Looks like Livan’s Rockies stint is off to a nice start. Getting beaten up. Again.

    Here’s a hilarious video if you guys haven’t seen it. Womens’ rights campaigners should probably not watch. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqXi8WmQ_WM

    Can’t stop laughing at it. I can’t shove my fist in your childhood dreams. LOL

  26. Joe says:
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    Another homer for your boy Gerut Grey. Might be worth a look.

  27. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Joe: Nice video, but my Mom had already sent me the link.

    BTW, I wish I had Livan in my starting lineup for Razzball but we got stupid weekly changes. Thanks, Rudy!

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