Jair Jurrjens has a xFIP of 3.64 and a K-rate of 5.23. Sounds like you should brave the trade winds with Jar-Jar. Or maybe I should say, “Wash that Jurrjens right outta your Jair!” Okay, breathe, Grey, you got puns, I get it. You’re right, random italicized voice, lost my shizz there for a second. Jurrjens’s K-rate is the lowest of his career and it wasn’t that good to begin with. He did have one of these lucky years before (2009) when he left men on and had some luck with his BABIP, but he was K’ing a little over one more batter per nine innings then. I can’t imagine Jurrjens keeps anywhere near the ERA he currently has (2.13) with his down peripherals, which was not a Kelsey Grammer movie. So don’t make the same mistake as George Lucas and fall in love with Jar-Jar. Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Charlie Blackmon – Is the vicious homers? Nope. Is the haircut? Nope. Is it the shoes? Nope. Is it the extra long shorts? Nope. Is it the short socks? Nope. It’s gotta be the steals!
Jordan Schafer – Sticking with the retro Nike feel, I’m mentioning Jordan. He’s currently hitting, but, in the big picture, he’s just okay. Jordan is His Fair-ness.
Justin Ruggiano – I wonder if Sam Fuld would pick up Ruggiano on his fantasy team. On one hand, he knows what it’s like to be a hot schmotato and how fast they can go cold. On the other hand, Ruggiano is stealing his playing time. On the third lesser known hand that is actually a foot wearing a mitten, Ruggiano was much more interesting in the minors leagues than Fuld. (BTW, I think every baseball player should have to participate in a public fantasy league. I’d love to see who would actually own themselves, what pitchers hitters would own and vice versa. Jason Kubel is coming up to bat vs. Brandon Morrow. You may not own either but after Morrow’s last start Kubel dropped him in his league and now Morrow beans him. Intrigue!)
Travis Snider – Supposedly, he’s going to get recalled in a few weeks. Rudy and I were talking over IM about how some guys are just such a tease. Everyone rushes out to grab Snider every time he gets called up. Do you forget why he was back on waivers to begin with? He’s okay as a flyer, but I’m not going crazy with him until he actually shows something. I’m turning over a new, more conservative leaf. Now how about Dee Gordon?!
Alexi Casilla – Forget everything you know about Alexi Casilla…Okay, forget that you don’t know anything about Alexi Casilla. He’s hitting over .400 in the last week and is on pace for 25 steals. (As if you’re gonna keep him on your team all year! Hahahahahaha…. Mid-haha I totally forgot what I was laughing at.)
Jemile Weeks – Ackley is gonna have more buzz in fantasy leagues, but I imagine him and Weeks are pretty much the same thing this year.
Eduardo Nunez – If you had Jeter (did you draft him hoping he’d get you laid?) or need a quick one week fill-in, Nunez has speed and some slight power.
Jonathon Niese – For those with a short term memory — hey, who said that?! — I liked Niese in the preseason. A 3 and a half ERA and solid K’s doesn’t seem to be that farfetched.
Tim Stauffer – This will sound rhetorical, but I’d take an answer. How does a guy go unowned in so many leagues when he pitches his home games in a stadium where the center field fence has the infinity sign on it?
Andrew Miller – To continue from Stauffer’s blurb… Yet, if Miller pitches well vs. the Padres his ownership will skyrocket. Miller who’s failed so many times in the major leagues and isn’t even guaranteed a rotation spot.
Dayan Viciedo – Kenny Williams said Viciedo is finally ready for the majors. Ozzie said the same but put a hashtag on it. He’s hit 10 homers in 62 games in the minors and his 3rd base eligibility makes him immediately ownable. Though I would like to know where he’s going to play. If he starts every day at 3rd base, I like him a lot, but he can’t play 3rd. If he’s off the bench here and there in the outfield, then belch. If the Sox bench Pierre and play Viciedo, then giddy up.
Luke Scott – Know how Miguel Olivo’s never happy hitting just one home run? That goes doubly for Luke Scott. BTW, doubly might be one of my top five favorite words. When you say it, it’s hard to not sound drunk.
Michael Young – His counting stats don’t look terrible, but 3 home runs and 4 steals prorated over the whole year sounds Crapolanco-ish. I wouldn’t drop him, but I’d sweeten a deal with Young and just grab an MI off waivers in leagues where that’s possible.
Josh Beckett – At some point, he’s going to look human again. It may not be today…Well, it’s definitely not today because he’s not pitching. It may not be tomorrow…Well, it won’t be tomorrow. Not pitching then either. It may not be until July, but at some point it’ll happen. Don’t believe me, ask Ubaldo about his 1st half last year.
Joe Mauer – Welcome back, Joe! Now trade him immediately. Word out of Minnesota is Mauer will be sitting in a beach chair behind the plate to avoid crouching. I just jumped out of a DeLorean and I have the big news from next year’s baseball preseason. Bud Selig and Ed Wade switch toupees to raise money for lupus with a fundraising drive called, Raise the Wolf. The 2nd biggest story: after another down year in 2011 for Mauer, he will play primarily first base in 2012. Then everyone will go crazy for a 12 homer hitting 1st baseman thinking he’ll be that much better if he doesn’t have to catch. Well, that’s for another day (or year). For this year, Mauer’s all name value.