Oh, no, he dint! Oh, yes, I did! David Ortiz got stamped with the schmohawk label and shoved into the overrated for 2009 fantasy baseball thingamajiggywitit. How’s dem apples? Sour? Good, they’re supposed to be. Ortiz doesn’t get to taste my Delicious apples. With Facebook’s 25 Inane Things About Yourself That No One Cares About, Not Even Your Mother making the rounds, I figured I’d crib that shizz for David Ortiz. Only I’m going to do one thing, because 25 is a ridiculously large number. I can’t even count that high when I’m drunk. And right now I’m drunk on hate! For Ortiz. Not you. You I like. Anyway, why’s David Ortiz overrated for 2009 fantasy baseball?
David Ortiz is old for players of his girth. Take Mo Vaughn, for instance. (I take Mo Vaughn everywhere and he always finds his way home — oofa!) Big Mo was knocking down Cask ‘n Flagon Sammy A’s with the best of them until he no longer was. Look at Mo Vaughn’s most similar by age. (BTW, do you ever find yourself losing like 3 hours of a day in the Baseball-Reference site? Yeah, me too.)
Before there was Big Papi there was Big Mo…. It’s sad, but true. Mo Vaughn took a pretty major dump after the age of 31. Ortiz’s age 30 year was 54/119/.332 then, at age 31, he went 35/117/.332. Last year at age 32, Ortiz went 23/89/.264. This year he’s going to be a Latin 33. Mo Vaughn’s career end was rushed along by injuries. Um, Ortiz has been healthy? In Spring Training, Ortiz has already been complaining of shoulder soreness. Then you throw in Ortiz has no position eligibility…. Ugh, people. Seriously. What do you want from me? My last Hot Pocket? Just do me a favor and avoid David Ortiz in your 2009 fantasy baseball drafts.