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Alexis Rios hit three balls hard and one to the base of the centerfield wall that is a home run if it’s hit anywhere else. Finally, he’s hot. Hopefully Alexis Rios’s slump is done and his hot streak goes straight through the All-Star break and into October. He owes me! The fact that he only has four home runs thus far is an injustice to mankind (not the WWE wrestler who writes the occasional book and wears flannel). Joe Inglett has two home runs! Are you kidding me? Alexis Rios is another two week slump away from me reenacting Celtic Pride and kidnapping him. Stay hot, Rios. You’ve been warned. (BTW, while watching the Rios game, I was eating dinner with my girlfriend–she made a Sloppy Faux, which is a Sloppy Joe with fake meat. Don’t worry, I’m not a vegetarian; she is. And when she cooks, I eat. But I digress within the digression. So Rios hits the ball to deep center and I get excited. Then she says, “So you have real enthusiasm for a guy you have on a fake team?” Hmm… Maybe I care too much.) Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Rick Ankiel – Hit two HRs yesterday. (Am I the only one who wants the Cardinals to go into the 18th inning of a game and bring Ankiel in to pitch?)

Kyle Kendrick – He’s 7-3. Johan Santana called, he wants his win-loss record back. (Here’s my October prediction. The Phils make it to the playoffs and Kyle Kendrick is something like 15-10. Then in the third game of the 1st series, Kendrick is shelled and Joe Morgan says, “Kendrick had a great season, but just didn’t have it today.” Can you hear the vitriol (Word of The Day) in my voice?)

Shaun Marcum – Things went well with Dr. James Andrews. No surgery needed. Maybe I’m a pessimist but to me, visiting Dr. James Andrews is reason enough to be worried.

Jason Isringhausen – Blown save. I don’t think Ryan Franklin should be dropped just yet.

Gary Sheffield – Went 4-for-5. I don’t have any doubt that he wants to play and prove people wrong. Sheff is driven by proving people wrong. Much like Bonds was. However, I think nagging injuries catch up to Sheff before he can show everyone a thing or two. Is he worth a flier? Sure. Just don’t drop anyone you’ll regret. (Hey, that sounds like something I would say in the comments. So that’s me quoting future me!)

Luke Hochevar – Aka the guy whose last name you can’t pronounce went 8 innings and gave up 2 ER. He’s tamed his control problem in his last couple of starts, but I’m not picking him up in any league.

Shawn Chacon – I read the recap of how he attacked Ed Wade, the Astros GM. I also read about their conversation before it all went down. What I didn’t read was what Chacon did immediately after the altercation. Here’s what I think went down post-altercation. Chacon into his cellphone, “Hey, Milton Bradley, it’s Chacon. Did you hear–” “I’m watching Passions.” “The soap opera?” “What do you want, Chacon?” “Well, I just had an altercation and I was looking for some spiritual guidance. It seems–” “Did I mention I was watching Passions?” “Should I let you go?” At that point, Milton Bradley hung up on Shawn Chacon. If anyone knows where Chacon is now, let him know there are people that care about him and to keep hope alive.

Aaron Harang – I’m done making excuses for him. Okay, one excuse — he gave up an infield single then a home run to Joe Inglett(!) that barely got over the wall and hit the foul pole. What’s even more annoying (to me at least), Harang just doesn’t seem like he cares, but maybe that’s the creepy, Lurch-like deep sunken eyes. I hate you, Harang!

Eric Stults – I like Dodgers pitchers as much as the next guy, but I’m not picking up this schmohawk.

Jorge Campillo – Picked him up for this spot start, then I forgot to put him in (a drawback to having lots of teams). Anyway, I’m not necessarily dropping him just yet (though I’m not sure I’ll be starting him next time out against thePhils).

Russell Branyan – Mentioned this in the forums yesterday. Branyan looks like he’s turned the corner back onto K St.

Felix Hernandez – F-Her confirms what I thought all along. He’s not going to make his next start.

John Maine – Finally, someone makes the M’s look like the M’s.

Cristian Guzman – The Nats gave him a contract extension. After the announcement, Guzman said this, “Suckas!”

Carl Crawford – Carlin dead, Jared dead, Carl Crawford alive.  With two home runs yesterday, Crawford is hitting close to .500 in the last 7 games with three home runs. Why is he suddenly hitting? Because I just traded him away in one league. God hates me because I question him with things like, “Why are there more pigeons than pandas?”

Hank Blalock - Hurt his hand and doesn’t know when he’ll be able to return. Really sad stuff. I remember the good ‘ol days when he’d be able to return from a DL stint, play for a week or two then go back on the DL. Now it seems like he’s just going from DL stint to DL stint. *pours out some forty*

  1. Grey

    Grey says:
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    My bad. I thought I posted it right before I went to bed. I guess all I did was save it.

  2. Commie-tment Issues says:
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    I put up O. Cabrera for Harang (my SS is Hanley)… I also offered up O-Cab for Verlander. So are we still buying low on Harang, and has Verlander returned? Or should I stick with your boy Slowey as my 5th starter and leave Cabrera in the UTIL spot?

    Holla.

  3. Zebo says:
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    @Grey: is Harang no longer untouchable? I own him and Verlander, and my blood pressure went up 30 points over the past 2 months.

  4. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Commie-tment Issues: I’m still going after Harang. His peripheral numbers say he should be better. For O-Cab? I do that deal in a second to get Harang.

    @Zebo: What do you mean by untouchable? Like he’s droppable? You’ll blood pressure will go up another 30 points if you drop him. Don’t do it.

  5. KarlJ says:
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    I think that Jared thing is a hoax. I actually believed it at first

  6. Commie-tment Issues says:
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    @KarlJ: Subway Jared?

  7. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @KarlJ: Jared’s alive?! (Yeah, I know. I was just messing with you.– Not *you* you, just the general third person you.)

  8. p0rk burn says:
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    @Grey: It was a hoax but now that its hit Razzball its a certainty. Enjoy your last days Fogle, at least Carlin will keep you entertained.

  9. IowaCubs

    IowaCubs says:
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    @Grey: You had me going, too! I had to do some searches to see if it was Grey being Manny being Manny. It’s a good thing you were joking about my grandfather George Carlin, too… it would sorta suck to get that news from a fantasy baseball site.

    One of these days, you’re going to recognize that Jim Edmonds hits home runs at Wrigley. Lassie’s swing is back. I just picked him up in one of my leagues. I’m not proud of it, but it’s a league that gives points for floppers , so I had to do it.

    I’m going to take a shower again now.

  10. KarlJ says:
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    @Grey:
    Ha-I’ve actually been eating alot of Subway lately. Mostly because I am lazy and it’s only a block away from my office but also because I like their meatball sub and you can get cookies with the combo

  11. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @KarlJ: Hey, I work a block from Subway too. I thought you looked familiar!

  12. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Commie-tment Issues: That is more interesting.

    I think they could’ve done better on the sentence usage. “Thought I might get blue balls, but instead got sparkle d**k. Score!”

  13. Mike says:
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    would u start Daryl Thompson against Cleveland? Im thinking it could be a good move but I would really like to see one more start from him….hes also facing C.C.

  14. Zebo says:
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    @KarlJ: subway is overrated, I feel. Their sandwiches are quite expensive, and if you get the combo with chips/drink/cookie it’s almost 8 or 9 dollars. Or in fantasy terms, you are paying for a Barry Zito everytime you go to subway.

  15. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Mike: No, I wouldn’t start him unless it was a very deep league.

  16. Freak says:
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    What’s the skinny on Chris Davis? I’m thinking it’s almost certain he will hit, since he’s with the Rangers.

    Is he worth dropping, say, Todd Helton?

  17. p0rk burn says:
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    Garza with a no hitter through 5.

  18. KarlJ says:
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    @Grey: Ha- I work in Manhattan. I suspect you are on the west coast. Although there is a guy that comes in there that looks like Don Mattingly so maybe that is you ( I know that Mattingly comparison eats at you!)

  19. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Freak: He’s got good power, but Ks a lot. I don’t think Helton’s really very valuable, so take a flier on Davis.

    @p0rk burn: You’re not supposed to talk about it! Yeah, I’m watching too.

  20. Freak says:
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    @Grey: If only yahoo would add him to the player pool.

    grrahahrajrklads;jdjfiw;oefjdcm,.

  21. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Freak: grrahahrajrklads;jdjfiw;oefjdcm,. — right back at ya.

  22. p0rk burn says:
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    @Grey: I’m rooting for the Marlins so I’m going to do whatever I can to jinx it. I’m not here to help the Rays and I don’t have Garza. Suck it, superstition.

  23. p0rk burn says:
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    Sweet, it worked!

  24. Hank

    Hank says:
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    Who’s better and/or will make more fantasy impact this season:
    Max Ramirez or Chris Davis?

  25. Hank

    Hank says:
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    @Grey: So you really mean Ramirez.

  26. Hank

    Hank says:
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    Just trying to keep the other RCLer’s off guard. Can’t have them jackin my strats.

  27. p0rk burn says:
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    @Hank: Cheater.

  28. Hank

    Hank says:
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    @p0rk burn: If you ain’t cheating you’re…losing.

  29. Commie-tment Issues says:
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    it’ll kill me on saves (only will have Papelboy left as an actual closer) but got a counter offer: i give up BJ Ryan for Harang.

    do it? i mean… there’ll be other CLs down the line. amirite?

  30. Carl says:
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    I picked up Stults. Can’t do worse than Snell, Harang, Lilly, Arroyo and Lohse did this week.

  31. Carl says:
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    WTF is wrong with Harang? His Fastball is at 89 and it’s straight and up. His breaking balls are flat and have no bite. I didn’t sign up for this shit.

  32. IowaCubs

    IowaCubs says:
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    @Carl: It’s called 800 innings pitched in the last 3 1/2 years. It’s time to come out of your Harang denial and just accept that he’s giving up far more line drives and striking out fewer batters this year. It’s the same problem Zambrano is having, and I wouldn’t be surprised if Harang ended up on the DL like Z did.

  33. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @IowaCubs: So are you selling Webb, too?

  34. RT says:
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    Chris Davis was just called up by Texas.

  35. IowaCubs

    IowaCubs says:
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    @Grey: Sure… Fire sale… Who wants Johan???

  36. Zebo says:
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    @Grey: is Seth McClung a safe spot starter against Min? he has been decent, and the brewers offense is heating up.

  37. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Zebo: He has been good, but I would not do it personally and would only do it if you really need a spot start.

  38. Hank

    Hank says:
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    Off topic, I know, but has anyone been reading Deadspin today? If not go now.

  39. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Hank: What am I reading— looking for?

  40. Hank

    Hank says:
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    @Grey: Oh, check out all the articles under “Will Leitch Sucks” Maybe a lot of it is inside humor, but they are getting some pretty big names to roast Leitch as he leaves Deadspin. Bill Simmons’ article (Part IV) is particularly funny, and they even got a voicemail from SVP up.

  41. Hank

    Hank says:
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    And, Part V: Costas Now Redux is pretty funny too. Maybe I’m just excited because I think its the first time in awhile I laughed at something on Deadspin not written in the comments.

  42. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Hank: Yeah, I don’t really read Deadspin, but the Simmons one was pretty good. At least he said fuck. That was good.

  43. BSA says:
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    Hey Grey, I just went into the forum and couldn’t find the post on Wainwright and I wanted to read the commentary. Someone wants Hudson and other than JSantana his only other interesting starter is Wainwright and I don’t know enough about him.

  44. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @BSA: If you’re asking if you should trade for Wainwright, you should not.

  45. Mike says:
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    If the knicks draft another european white guy noone has heard of IM GONNA SHOOT MYSELF

  46. nick says:
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    Should I,

    a) Trade one of my 5 of’s for a pitcher…I would like to trade Chris Young for John Maine

    or

    b) Pickup a guy off waivers…are any of these guys worth more than maine?
    Guthrie, Martinez or Garza

  47. Hank

    Hank says:
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    @nick: I’d hold Chris Young, and pick up Guthrie and Garza. If/when young gets back he’s a solid #2 with #1 potential. I view Maine more of a low 2 high 3. Maybe if the Mets were better.

  48. BSA says:
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    Thanks. Like I said I’m an AL snob and am still learning about NL. My learning curve has been pretty sharp this year.

  49. Hank

    Hank says:
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    @nick: Shit, I need to go to the Zoolander School For Kids Who Don’t Read Good. You were talking about Krispie Young, I’d lean towards saying yes on the first deal, who are your other starters? I think Guthrie and Garza need to be owned.

  50. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Mike: hehe

    @nick: Are you starting three of 5 OFs? Are two extra? Maine and Guthrie didn’t have good 2nd halfs last year, but if Young’s expendable, I’d get Maine with him. Garza has upside but wild.

  51. nick says:
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    @Hank: I’m referring to outfielder Chris Young from the D-Backs…Chris Young from San Diego is actually on Waivers in my league but I don’t need anymore injured pitchers on my team

  52. nick says:
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    @Grey: I’m starting only 3 OF’s therefore I’m looking to get rid of one…others are Lee,Markakis,Burrell,Quentin.

    @Hank: Other starters are Marcum,Wainwright,Sabathia,Greinke,Zambrano

  53. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @nick: Yeah, that’s what I thought you were saying. You have too many OFs. I’d trade Young for a starter. Maybe not Maine, but someone.

  54. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @nick: BTW, I’d consider moving two for a top starter and then picking up Guthrie or Garza, in that order.

  55. nick says:
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    @Grey: Who do you think I could go for? I don’t think I will get much for Young because outfielders are readily available in my league & Young is not the best

  56. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @nick: I think you need to see who are the top pitchers on teams that are hurting on offense/OF. I could see a team going for a deal like Burrell/Young for Webb.

  57. BSA says:
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    Kershaw on radar again – “apples to apples” – Cueto to Kershaw

  58. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @BSA: Kershaw’s line looks bad today. What are you seeing that you like?

  59. Hank

    Hank says:
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    @nick: Webb would be a steal for Burrell/Young, especially in Roto where that duo would kill BA. I think setting sights at maybe a Billingsly+a second half upside starter would do you well. If you really want another ace like Webb, I’d guess you’d have to package Lee in the deal with Burell or Young.

    What are your league setting, points or roto?

  60. BSA says:
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    Not looking close enough.

  61. nick says:
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    @Hank: roto

  62. nick says:
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    @Hank: oh & Billingsly is on a team that NEVER checks it so that will probably not happen

  63. Hank

    Hank says:
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    @nick: Lame, well I suppose that’s why Guthrie and Garza are on waivers. I think you could reasonably net Lincecum for the Burrell/Young duo. Other names I’d look at: Kazmir, Sheets (injury risk), Harden (injury risk), Harang (lots of upside and you’d probably only have to give away Young by himself), and Beckett. I also really like Chris Young, I wouldn’t let him chill on waivers and he has way more potential than Wainwright or Marcum.

  64. Kevin says:
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    Volquez getting lit up. ABOUT FREAKING TIME. This is soooo overdue.

  65. Chet says:
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    Why are there so many Shreks and so few Kung Fu Pandas?

  66. Mike says:
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    and the knicks take the european white guy!! wow! I didnt see that one coming…..shoot me please

  67. nick says:
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    @Mike: I hear ya….2010, King James!

  68. Mike says:
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    @nick: We better get Lebron, with the knicks luck hell go to the Nets when they move to Brooklyn. Seriously tho they couldnt take Eric Gordon?? Nooooo…lets take the guy that plays overseas against inferior smaller opponents. This guy is gonna get boooed out of the Garden. Screw James Dolan, screw D’Antoni (another bad move), screw Donnie Walsh and screw the Knicks they never learn…..unreal. Thank God for fantasy baseball to take my mind off of this joke of a franchise.

  69. nick says:
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    @Mike: Yea us Knicks fans have been through alot, unfortunately it looks like the pain will continue. & my Mets arent any better. Same with the Jets…my teams suck!

  70. wakeNbake says:
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    Think Kinsler will keep this up all year? he did fade down the stretch last year. If the right offer comes up would you sell high on him or stay pat?

  71. wakeNbake says:
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    Is Josh Johnson an add when he comes off the DL?

  72. p0rk burn says:
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    Cliff Lee: Rumors of his death premature? Looking kinda good against the San Francisco Little League All-Stars.

  73. JR says:
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    Magic Wandy, baby.

  74. Mike says:
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    ….I think my little sister could K 10 Giants. Horwitz,Denker,J.Castillo,Bowker….exactly who is on that team? They sit their only good player Fred Lewis for some reason.

  75. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @wakeNbake: I don’t think Kinsler’s necessarily a sell-high guy. Of course for the right offer anyone is. re: Josh — not a huge fan of him. I think unless you’re desperate for pitching you should let someone else take the risk.

    @JR: hehe

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