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Taking a break from my weekly rant on the droolings of Eric Karabell and just going to vent on one topic. Let’s call this column, “Open Your Vent!” Also, I want my own sidebar section like Rudy’s got for his TWIR. But that’s not what I’m venting on. That’s a side vent, if you will. Or you won’t. I don’t give a crap. You either like me or you hate me. And if I see Rudy or Grey in a dark alley sharing an ice cream cone, I wouldn’t stop to say squat, cause that’s how I do! Now turn up your anger, I’m about to open my vent!

People who draft a team, then abandon it should be taken into a San Fernando Valley warehouse and turned into a spit cup. Why are you using Yahoo or ESPN to practice your drafting? You can’t use one of the sites that are available to do Mock Drafts? There’s even a site called, Mock Draft Central! You can’t work Google to find it? What, there’s a restraining order between you and smart? Or you just get off on randomly abandoning your teams and ruining everyone else in that league’s season? How about I abandon your stupid ass in the City of God? Your head will be a fútbol, you cross-eyed, nipple sucker. You know what’s really disgraceful? Self-proclaimed fantasy experts who abandon their team in self-proclaimed expert leagues. That shows a pretty competitive streak. How about you let your kid beat you in Connect Four while you make dinner for your wife as she blows your neighbor? How about I Googlestalk your ass, move next door and fill-in for your neighbor? Too bad “Largest Vagina” isn’t a category. You and your wife could be tied for first. Now go get your shinebox!

From Around The Web

  1. knighttown says:
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    Simple request…fix my team. I got a huge lead in pitching, dumped all my pitchers for bats and know my pitching is getting worse and my hitting is still shit. Sure, a few more HR but my BA is dropping like a stone. I’m still top 3 in my league but I don’t like my last 30 day results which is what I watch to see if I should stay the course.

    SP-Parra, Wolf, Volquez, Oswalt, Lilly, J. Sanchez
    RP- Wheeler, Ryan, Morrow, Putz*
    C- Ianetta
    IF- Fielder, BJ Upton, Rollins, A-ROd
    OF- Dye, Ibanez, Dunn, J. Guillen, Quentin
    MI/CI- Aviles, Ryan Howard
    U- Swisher
    Bn-Polanco, Bruce
    DL-Hafner, V-Mart

  2. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @knighttown: Well, for dumping your pitchers, they don’t look that bad. Aviles/Swisher/Polanco/Bruce/Ibanez/Guillen? How deep is this league? I’m going to assume 12. Can you upgrade any of these guys? Also if your average is a problem, try and move Dunn or Quentin. And you infield is solid, but currently underperforming, so that’s a good sign going forward. They should get better.

  3. knighttown says:
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    A 6 Home Run night tonight cures some of the ills. It’s an 11 team league. I agree with the infield comment…these guys are snoozin’. Funnily enough I just offered Dunn for Ichiro…the guy is last in HR and first in BA and speed…it seems just too logical. I’d pay real money for a guy who could get me 18/50/55/.310 the rest of the way…I’ve six guys that will get me 12/40/40/.245. Any thoughts of who I might target offering anyone other than my IF or SP? BJ Ryan plus Adam Dunn = ??

  4. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @knighttown: I was going to suggest Dunn for Ichiro, but I wasn’t sure if it was enough for an Ichiro owner. I think I’d go to Dunn/Ryan for Ichiro to get the deal through. But I guess wait to see if he goes for it first. Otherwise, I’d try and snag Jose Reyes from someone. He gets so many at-bats that he can really make a huge dent in average. The risk, obviously, he may not hit .300. Then if Ichiro and and Reyes don’t work. I’d try for Atkins or Markakis. Either could hit .330 after the break.

  5. Nick says:
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    Do you start Hardy against Homer Bailey tomorrow over Quentin against Matt Harison (Quentin .198ba against lefties) or over Markakis against Dice-K(0-4career against him, but then again he is hot right now) ?

  6. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Nick: Over Quentin. But lots of times regulars get the day before the All-Star game off, so check to make sure your decision isn’t made for you.

  7. Mike says:
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    got offered Scott Baker for Jered Weaver….. YAY or NAY?

  8. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Mike: Not outstanding, but I’d prefer Baker. It’s really never that great when you’re trading apples for apples.

  9. Baron Von Vulturewins says:
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    No TWIR this week?

    If I don’t have a shot at Comment O’ The Week, I have so little to live for. There’s always the Joe Morgan Idiotic Comment Drinking Game.

  10. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Baron Von Vulturewins: TWIR is on Rudy. Complain to his “I’m trying a day date so I may not have time to write the TWIR” ass.

    Expand on Joe Morgan Drinking Game.

  11. BigFatHippo says:
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    There’s a Joe Morgan Idiotic Comment Drinking Game?

    Count me in…………………

    I’ll go get a 30 pack, it’ll take at least that much.

  12. knighttown says:
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    Picking up Matsui on waivers seems like a no-brainer for a guy with a team .262 BA? Drop Aviles, Polanco or Bruce?

  13. BigFatHippo says:
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    @knighttown

    Kaz you’re talking about?

    Wouldn’t drop Polanco if you’re worried about BA.

    Drop Bruce if he’s riding your bench.

  14. knighttown says:
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    Sorry, it’s Hideki.

  15. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @knighttown: Okay, just went to look at your team. Guillen’s been bad for two weeks and Bruce has upside. I could see dropping Guillen instead.

  16. BigFatHippo says:
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    @knighttown

    By all means, Godzilla much better play than Kaz. Who would drop him?

    @Grey
    Good call on Webb, didn’t get a win or loss but his numbers offset Hamels’. Plus, gives me 35 Ks today, so far.

  17. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @BigFatHippo: 35 Ks? Damn. Who did you have going?

  18. BigFatHippo says:
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    36 now, but they pinch hit for Bills. Shit.

    Hamels, Webb, Kaz, Bills, got a couple outta Franklin and Kobayashi but that’s just fluff.

    I worked it to only +5 IP till today. Those guys seem to all pitch on the same day, so my pitching stats resemble an elevator.

  19. BigFatHippo says:
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    38

    K- Rod struck out two in the ninth.

    Give me back my wallet bitch, it’s the one that says Bad Mutherfucker.

  20. Steve says:
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    Guys – still trying to improve my 2B/SS slots. Any reason to keep hold of Kelly Johnson when both Alexi Casilla and Alexei Rameriez are available?

    Can’t work a trade with any bastard in my league (except sending Street for Y Escobar and that ain’t worked out so well)…

  21. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Steve: Johnson hasn’t been that good recently, but one of those guys isn’t exactly a huge upgrade.

  22. knighttown says:
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    I had waived Aviles for H. Matsui but it doesn’t go thru until tomorrow night. Of course he has a 3 hit, 2 steal day (Sonofabench!) Now I’m thinking I should move one of my THREE catchers. I’ve talked at length about the 7 circles of hell Vicrodguel Saltolivandez has me swimming in this season so who would you waive; Ianetta, Ramon Hernandez or V-Mart? I’m thinking I’ll hang with V-Mart because I’ve waited this fucking long and if he hits .330 the rest of the way I’ll be very pleased. I hate catchers and hope they all need knee replacements.

  23. Steve says:
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    Yeah@Grey: Yeah. And I did draft him in the 16th or 17th, so I’m probably getting about what I should expect from him I suppose.

  24. Steve says:
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    Guys – My sister plays in my league (and for some reason relies on me for advice) and has just been offered Pena + Abreu + Wheeler for Sizemore.

    I think someone closer to Sizemore’s value would need to be included.

    I know it’s in a vacuum, but what say you?

  25. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Steve: Why don’t the ladies ask us questions directly? Your inclination is correct. I’d want Sizemore there, which I’m assuming is who she’s giving away, so not so good.

  26. BigFatHippo says:
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    @Steve

    Playing fantasy baseball with your sister? I hope she’s beating you.

    Tell her not to trade Grady for ANYBODY.

    Go sis.

  27. Steve says:
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    @BigFatHippo: Thankfully she’s not, although we did tie in our matchup a couple of weeks ago. She has already rejected the offer.

  28. Mike says:
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    can somebody tell me whats gotten into Mike Pelfrey?

  29. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Mike: Same thing that came over the last three starters to face the Rockies out of Coors.

    Pelfrey also faced the Giants in his last start.

  30. cruisinkc says:
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    Do you think Verlander will keep up his current good pitching into the 2nd half? I was thinking about trading away Soria to get him.

  31. Mike says:
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    @Grey: not worth taking a flier on Pelfrey in your opinion?

  32. Sophie says:
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    ‘m the sister. Got a new offer: Bobby Abreu + Rich Harden for Sizemore…

    Advice anyone??

    sophie

  33. Zebo says:
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    @Grey: Clint Barmes has been a bust, 0 for infinity it seems since I picked him up. I am seriously considering Aviles or Brendan Harris now. Should I drop Clint Barmes? I knew back in March, that when I missed out on the first 6 SS, that it was going to be trouble for me all year long. O Cab, Yunel and now this. Have you ever heard of anyone punting SS?

  34. Mike says:
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    @Zebo: punting SS… lol . Id go Aviles if I were u.

  35. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Mike: Depends who you are dropping and how deep your league is.

    @Sophie: Fix your hair fellas, there’s a girl here. Are you giving away Sizemore? If so, you want more and/or different. Sizemore just did more in the first half than Abreu will do all year and Harden’s a sneeze away from an injury. If you’re getting Sizemore there, it’s good, do it.

    @Zebo: Take a flier on Aviles. I’m also looking at Bartlett in one league. He should be returning soon. But I’m looking at him for mostly speed.

  36. Nick says:
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    Figgins is on the bereavement list? In Florida to be with his father who suffered a stroke…Will he be back by the end of the week when baseball resumes?

  37. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Nick: He’s supposed to be back when the break’s over.

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