Inspired by Seattle’s Doug Fister-Adam Moore battery, we’ve compiled a list of pitcher-batter combinations that, at their worst, make us wincingly smile like a corny Jay Leno weddings segment and, at their best, make us laugh like Jay Leno’s audience does at the aforementioned segment.
If you’ve got a got a good one, post it to the comments and we’ll consider adding it to the post (giving you credit). Here are the rules:
- Has to be one pitcher and one catcher. No “If Scott Rolen was a catcher, him and Steve Stone would rock!”
- Has to include both last names. Incorporating the first name is optional.
- A last name can be used only once. Best one wins. So if you want to use one with ‘Moore’, you’ll have to find a better one than Fister (which is already at 11).
- Either the pitcher or catcher would be known by someone who has followed baseball since 1980. (no submissions with two players from the deadball era.) Unless it’s really funny…
Fister/Moore (Doug Fister + Adam Moore) = The preferred Mariners battery of the Seattle Storm.
Coffey/Teagarden (Todd Coffey + Taylor Teagarden) = Very hospitable to hitters.
Marmol/Laird (Carlos Marmol + Gerald Laird) = Preserves leads.
Morton/Saltamacchia (Charlie Morton + Jarrod Saltamacchia) = Taste like their fantasy owners’ tears.
Lyon/Treanor (Brandon Lyon + Matt Treanor) = Can handle dangerous situations.
Rzepczynski/Pierzynski (Mark Rzepczynski + A.J. Pierzynski) = Guaranteed will win you the game….of Scrabble (submitted by commenter El Famous Burrito)
Buck/Hunter (John Buck + Tommy Hunter) = Dangerous tandem that will take your head off and mount it when they’re finished (submitted by commented Matt Belanger)
Flores/De La Rosa (Jorge De La Rosa + Jesus Flores) = Seduce umpires to expand their strike zone (submitted by commenter peter)
Soto/Moyer (Geovanny Soto + Jamie Moyer) = Old but still reigning supreme. (submitted by commenter swpayton)
Capps/Zaun (Matt Capps + Gregg Zaun) = THIS DUO MAKES HEADLINES! (submitted by commenter DrEasy)
Parker/Posey (Jarrod Parker + Buster Posey) = Well-respected for their pitch selections but prefer to play on smaller, edgier teams vs. big, mainstream teams (submitted by commenter peter).
Current and Historical Players
Manwaring/Colon (Bartolo Colon + Kurt Manwaring) – Smooth operators.
Mlicki/Foote (Dave Mlicki + Barry Foote) – Only Asian batters and A-Rod feel comfortable against this duo.
Daulton/Wade (Cory Wade + Darren Daulton) = The battery to call when your current battery needs to be bounced. How you like that, Brad Wesley?!
Barbee/Kendall (Dave Barbee + Jason Kendall) = Just toys with hitters.
Berra/Wang (Yogi Berra + Chien-Mien Wang) = Look great but expensive.
Ellis/Eiland (Dave Eiland + A.J. Ellis) = Most accommodating tandem to international hitters.
Maddux/Porter (Greg Maddux + Darrell Porter) = Skilled at making batters want to leave the country.
Ausmus/Mel Wright (Mel Wright/Brad Ausmus) – A tandem that would stink and be comfortable with it.
Watson/McCann (Allen Watson/Brian McCann) – By the time you realize they’re in the game, it’s already too late.
May/Flowers (Rudy May/Tyler Flowers) – Much like Teixeira, looks ugly in April. Fine after that.
Wynegar/Duchscherer (Justin Duchscherer + Butch Wynegar) = Perform best when fresh.
Dean/Martin (Dizzy Dean + Russ Martin) = Perform best when drunk.
Street/Walker (Huston Street + baseball pioneer Moses Fleetwood Walker) = Tandem for hire.
Raschi/Johnson (Vic Raschi + Charles Johnson) = Hung out with Street/Walker too much.
Yeager/Baumann (Frank Baumann + Steve Yeager) = Popular among college kids.
Rivera/Coke (Phil Coke + Mike Rivera) = Popular among late ’70s/early ’80s MLB players, the 1986 Mets and Ron Washington (submitted by commenter Awesomus Maximus)
Lloyd/Christmas (Graeme Lloyd + Steve Christmas) = Chance of these two coming together? About a million-to-one. So I’m telling you there’s a chance…
Nomo/McCarver (Hideo Nomo + Tim McCarver) = The battery I wish Fox would honor.
Bill Lee/Grote (Bill Lee + Jerry Grote) = The battery that cursed the Cubs.
Ferrell/Wolf (Rick Ferrell + Randy Wolf) = Dangerously wild
Savage/Lyons (Jack Savage & Barry Lyons) = Dangerously wilder. (submitted by commenter Jif & The Choosy Mothers).
LaRue/O’Day (Darren O’Day+ Jason LaRue) = Managers regret putting this duo in. (submitted by commenter peter)
Gross/Torre (Kevin Gross + Joe Torre) – So instead of applying a foreign substance by using his cap or leg, he would reach down into his _________ for it.
Peavy/Herrmann (Jake Peavy + Ed Herrmann) = Quite the adventure.
Palmer/Gooch (Jim Palmer + Johnny Gooch) = Likes to pick people off at 1st base.
Fingers/Surhoff (Rollie Fingers + BJ Surhoff) = Relieves Palmer/Gooch but removed for Fister/Moore on special occasions.
Good/Servais (Andy Good + Scott Servais) = They’d clean home plate before each batter and leave a mint on top of it (submitted by commenter swpayton)
Forsch/Shaw (Bob Forsch + Al Shaw) = Very trustworthy.
Pagnozzi/Hunter (Tom Pagnozzi + Catfish Hunter) = These two were inglorious basterds.
Wilcox/Estrada (Milt Wilcox + Johnny Estrada) = Best when the CHIPs are down.
Mossi/Valle (Don Mossi + Dave Valle) = Sounds like the results would be pretty until you see them up close.
Leonard/Skinner (Dennis Leonard + Joel Skinner) = Would play for free if signed by the Cardinals, Orioles, Blue Jays, or any team located in Alabama.
Holland/Oates (Al Holland + Johnny Oates) = Watch out other team, they’ll chew you up (submitted by commenter Ana-Jaime)
Gomez/Adams (Mike Adams + Randy Gomez) = Scary duo to face. (submitted by commenter Ana-Jaime)
Richard/Simmons (J.R. Richard + Ted Simmons) = Even scarier duo to face.
Scott/Towles (Mike Scott + Justin Towles) = This multi-generational Astro battery helps if the game gets messy.
Black/Decker (Bud Black + Steve Decker) = When Scott/Towles isn’t enough. (submitted by commenter Jay)
Fabregas/Face (Roy Face + Jorge Fabregas) – Painful to watch.
Heath/Barr (Jim Barr + Mike Heath) = No one’s first selection but better than nothing.
French/Fry (Luke French + Jerry Fry) = Another unsuccessful duo against Balbonis (submitted by commenter Beer Bum).
Lake/Trout (Steve Lake + Steve Trout) = Popular tandem in Baltimore (submitted by commenter royce!)
Eaton/Napoli (Adam Eaton + Mike Napoli) = When this duo comes in, fughettaboutit (submitted by commenter Awesomus Maximus).
Gooden/Snyder (Dwight Gooden + Chris Snyder) = It’s coming right down the middle. (submitted by commenter AZ Bobblehead)
Harden/Long (Rich Harden + Jimmie Long) = Just the type of battery that Pat ‘The Bat’ Burrell would like (submitted by commenter Smell the Glove)
Lilly/White (Ted Lilly + Sammy White) = A battery that Tom Yawkey would’ve loved.
Small/Dickey (Aaron Small + Bill Dickey) = Underwhelming performance.
Gott/Doumit (Jim Gott + Ryan Doumit) = The embodiment of two decades of Pirate performance. (submitted by commenter bostonaccent)
Murphy/Law (Vern Law + Dale Murphy) = Expect anything from balks to catcher interference to grand slams. (submitted by commenter AZ Bobblehead)
Nova/Scoscia (Ivan Nova + Mike Scoscia) = Best tandem to bring in against Tim Salmon.
Buck/Rogers (Kenny Rogers + John Buck) = Pretty good given that baseball didn’t even exist 500 years ago. (submitted by commenter peter)
Hancock/Cummings (Sterling Hancock + Jack Cummings) = Best when not brought in to finish a game prematurely. (submitted by commenter and1mcgee)
Tingley/Pole (Dick Pole + Ron Tingley) = Often precede Hancock/Cummings (submitted by commenter royce!)
Howry/Dooin (Bob Howry + Red Dooin) = Okay if a bit needy (submitted by commenter Bring Back Pluto).
Bando/Wagner (Billy Wagner + Chris Bando) = Good for a playoff stretch run but untrustworthy during the tough times (submitted by commenter Terrence Mann)
Lemon/Partee (Bob Lemon + Roy Partee) = Brian Sabean’s favorite duo. Be glad I didn’t link to the real site. (submitted by Terrence Mann).