Fantasy Baseball Advice

This is it, fellas and three girl readers.  The last train is leaving the station.  The giddy has just about got up and went.  It’s your last chance and I’d throw every single pitcher, not just the ones I have listed here if it meant the difference in my league.  You need to do what you do.  The line for last week was 3.50 ERA, 1.19 WHIP, 108 Ks and 6 Wins in 153 2/3 IP.  To recap, these aren’t guys I’d drop anyone worthwhile to get, these starters are meant for streaming purposes and all of their ownership in ESPN is under 50%.  These streamers are in no particular order.  Also, in the final days of the season, managers juggle their lineups more, so there’s no guarantee all of these guys are listed on the right day.  Anyway, here’s some borderline starters for this week in fantasy baseball:

Friday, October 1st

Fausto Carmona – I’ve been recommending for a few weeks in a row now.  Like Carmona, huh, Grey?  Answer, man!  What, too italicized for you? I’m trying to answer, random italicized voice.  Go ahead, money. I don’t like Carmona, but he does have an ERA below 2 in September.

Tony Pena – What’s more exciting than owning both pitchers in an Indians/White Sox matchup?  Not much, I tell ya.

Rick Porcello – Is it bad that I don’t like any of the pitchers I’m recommending today?  Yeah, prolly.

Jordan Zimmermann – I’ll say this, at least I’ll like Zimmermann next year.  Here, he goes into Metco.  It’s a’ight.

Saturday, October 2nd

Carlos Carrasco – How many Indians pitcher can I recommend?  Geez… I’ve been in the monkey house too long.

Chris Capuano – Not a fan at all, but I’m assuming the Reds will be benching most of their hitters.

Brian Matusz – In his last three starts, he has a 0.69 ERA (rawr!).

Tim Stauffer – Pray the Giants have clinched and the Padres are still battling for the Wild Card.  Though I’m not sure that situation is mathematically possible.

Alex Sanabia – Has a 3.06 ERA in his last three starts and gets the Pirates.  Done and done.

Sunday, October 3rd

Randy Wolf – Gets what will undoubtedly be the Reds minor league squad in the last game of the season.

Marc Rzepczynski – You, “Honey, I can’t go to brunch with you.  I’m watching my pitcher in the final game of the season.”  Her, “What’s his name?”  “Um…”  “You’re lying to me.”  “No, I just can’t pronounce his name.”  “I want a divorce.”

I told you two days ago to own Justin Smoak in his series in Texas.  Three straight games, three homers.  To paraphrase Young MC from We’re All In The Same Gang, “I try my best to set an example, talkin’ up hyped players over hip-hop samples.”  (BTW, the M’s lost yesterday when the catcher went to complete a strikeout by throwing the ball to first for the final out in the ninth but the ball sailed into right field and allowed the runner on first to score.  Ha-HA!)  Now the question is should you own Smoak the rest of the year… Sure, but that’s not the question.  Tricked you!  The question is about next year.  He hasn’t reached his potential yet, but he is only 23-years-old.  Some have compared him to Te(i)x.  He definitely slumped for half a season like him.  I think those ‘some’ were using that as a compliment though.  Next year, Smoak should have the starting job out of spring training and could provide 25 homers with a decent average.  In AL-Only keeper leagues and dynasty leagues, I’d make sure Smoak’s owned.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Chone Figgins – 4-for-4 as Chode tries to make his season numbers seem a whole lot better than they were.  Never trust a guy that spells Sean ‘Chone.’

David Murphy – Out with a strained groin.  Sounds like an injury that would sideline a porn actress.

Jeff Francoeur – 2-for-5 and hitting over .300 in the last week with 2 homers.  With the Rangers playing their B lineup and Hamilton and Murphy hurting, I grabbed Frenchy in a few arrondissements.

Josh Hamilton – Says his rehab went well and, assuming there’s no relapses, he’ll return on Friday.  What, bad choice of words?

P.J. Walters – 7 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 4 Ks.  He sounds like the star of an 80′s detective show where he solves all the cases in his pajamas.  P.J. Walters:  The Groggy Eye.  On yesterday’s episode, The Groggy Eye nabbed the cat burglar with nothing but his cunning and nightcap.  Afterwards, he put the Pirates to sleep.

Yovani Gallardo – 3 1/3 IP, 7 ER.  Now has an ERA of 3.84 and 1.37 WHIP on the year.  In the preseason when I announced I was avoiding YoGa, ironically, for fear of stress, I said, “We had a good run (in 2009), but it went on too long and wasn’t that pretty towards the end.  I could see my avoidance of Gallardo biting me in the ass because he is an extreme strikeout pitcher, which I like, but the innings jump from 2008 to 2009 raises too many questions for me.”  And that’s me quoting me!  I was right and wrong.  Right to avoid him, wrong saying it would bite me in the ass.

John Axford – Recorded his 23rd save yesterday.  Rudy and I were talking yesterday (we talk, ya’ll!) and he mentioned to me how Axford was one of the top free agent grabs this year.  Rudy’s got a point.  8 Wins, 2.53 ERA, 23 Saves, 74 Ks in only 57 IP.  That’s donkeycornlicious.

Javier Vazquez – 4 2/3 IP, 7 ER.  In the preseason, Vazquez was in a group of pitchers I said NOT to draft.  Along with Gallardo, Peavy, Hanson, Scherzer, Shields, Brandon Webb, Jurrjens, Edwin Jackson, Kazmir and Lackey.  You’re welcome.

John Buck – Now has two homers in the last three games and is playing every day.  Nothing fancy, but might be able to help.

Travis Snider – 2-for-5 with his third homer this week.  Seriously, pick him up right now.

Angel Pagan – 4-for-9 with two steals in the doubleheader.  Don’t forget to say thank you to Pagan on Sunday.  He gave you what you were hoping you’d get from Victorino.

Jonathon Niese – 2 2/3 IP, 6 ER.  Jonathon (no relation to Dickie Thon) ended the season with a 4.20 ERA and decent Ks.  I could see him being a fifth fantasy starter sleeper next year.

Lucas Duda – Hit his 3rd homer.  Zip-a-dee-Duda, zip-a-dee-ay.  My, oh my, what a Duda day.

Carlos Beltran – Shut down for the year.  Backdate this to May, 2009.

Ryan Raburn – 4-for-8 with a homer in the doubleheader.  I may not need the 2nd base eligibility to get excited about Raburn next year.  He may be one of my upside 5th outfielder picks.

Brooks Conrad – Three-run homer as he yelled, “Prado who?”  Then the choir answered, “Martin Prado.”

Matt Kemp – Wrapped up in a deuce, he hit two homers in two games, which isn’t too late for H2H leagues.

Hong-Chih Kuo – Of course Torre brought Kuo into a save situation in the 8th and gave the save to Belisario.  Of course he did!  Maybe Torre lost track of the inning because he was working on his next tell-all exposing Tommy Lasorda’s penchant for calling tomato sauce ‘gravy.’

Clayton Kershaw – The news confirmed he’s been shut down.  Then the news confirmed the last confirmation was wrong and he’s not being shut down.  Then the news reconfirmed the early confirmation and unconfirmed the latter confirmation.  Paddle through the verbiage and you’ll find Kershaw is getting shut down.

Jhoulys Chacin – 5 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 7 Ks and 5 unearned runs for the always ulcer-inducing ticker shock!

Matt Thornton – Recorded another save.  While Ozzie says Sale is the closer, Thornton’s obviously getting the saves.

Erick Aybar – 1-for-4 with his 21st steal.  He’s hitting .253 with 68 Runs and 29 RBIs, which are soul-crushing numbers.  In the preseason, I said, “I get a utility man vibe from Aybar.  If you draft him, there’s a 95% chance of you dropping him before May.”  I hope you did just that if you drafted him.

Joe Mauer – Will return and DH today.  I wouldn’t be surprised to see him sit another day or two in the final four days.

Kila Ka’aihue – Hit his 4th homer in the last week and third in two days.  If you want to read my Ka’aihue fantasy, it’s under that clickie-link thingamabob.

James McDonald – 6 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 7 Ks.  Deserved a better fate than a loss against a Cards team that was featuring Mark Hamilton at first.  Don’t worry, McDonald, January Grey won’t forget you.  January Grey, “That’s more on February Grey.  Oh, and could you wire me some money?  Turns out asking a female if she needs a ride is ‘solicitation.’  Who knew?”

Casey Kelly | RHP-SP | Boston Red Sox | D.o.B: 10-4-89 | 6’3” | 195 lbs | B/T: R/R | 1st rd, pk 30, 2008 from H.S. | BOS #2 ranked prospect according to Baseball America (2010) | MiLB Player Page

Ranked in the Top 50 Fantasy Baseball Prospects list, Kelly actually regressed quite a bit this year. With a fluid and athletic delivery, Kelly throws a 88 to 93 MPH fastball that he can cut or sink with stellar command, a great and potentially plus 12-to-6 curveball, and a deceptive changeup, this former two-way player ran into a road block at Double-A. Although he once played shortstop, he couldn’t hit well enough for the BoSox to seriously consider playing him there long term (but his defense was awesome). All three of my sources (Baseball America, John Sickels, and Keith Law) state explicitly or implicitly that he throws strikes, has front-line starter potential, is advanced beyond his years, and that he may add a few MPH onto his fastball as he develops and matures. How did his season fare (2010 Stats are at Double-A and had 95 innings pitched at Single-A and High-A in 2009):

2010 Stats: 7.7 K/9 | 3.3 BB/9 | 95 IP | 5.31 ERA | 4.23 FIP | 1.61 WHIP | .9 Hr/9 | 11.2 H/9 | .365 BABIP | 45 GB% | 18.0 LD% | 32.9 FB% | 9.4 Hr/FB%

Career Stats: 7.3 K/9 | 2.4 BB/9 | 190 IP | 3.69 ERA | 3.67 FIP | 1.23 WHIP | .7 Hr/9 | 8.7 H/9 | .301 BABIP | 48.1 GB% | 14.6 LD% | 33.3 FB% | 7.0 Hr/FB%

So much for the hype. I am truly amazed that a pitcher who lacks a blazing fastball or a high strikeout ratio was so highly ranked (Keith Law ranked him his 18th overall prospect pre-2010, and at midseason ranked him 10th overall – excluding other prospects already called up). Nevertheless, his fantasy upside isn’t worthy of the prospect upside. He’s a better real life pitcher. His 2010 stats are inflated due to a .365 BABIP but his 4.23 FIP show us his truer performance. I’d like to pick a quote from Keith Law, “Would it be unfair to say that I expected him to perform better in Double-A? He’s still just 20 and is in his first year as a full-time pitcher, but I thought he would treat Eastern League hitters the way he treated Class A hitters last year: with disdain.” The truth of the matter is, he pitched at Double-A at age 20, was his first full year pitching, and, well, probably shows the volatility of values in prospects. If you bought into the hype, don’t sell him thirty cents on the dollar, but if you can buy him for that, think of a 7.5 strikeout per nine, 3.5 walks per nine, with a mid-four ERA type pitcher in the majors until he reaches his prime.

Grant Green | SS | Oakland Athletics | D.o.B: 9-27-87 | 6’3” | 170 lbs | B/T: R/R | 1st rd, pk 13 2009 from College | OAK #3 ranked prospect according to Baseball America (2010) | MiLB Player Page

Every year, fantasy experts are looking for the value pick at the middle infield spot. In 2009, it was Elvis Andrus, in 2010 Grey was pimping Everth Cabrera and Alcides Escobar but it looks like Starlin Castro was this year’s steal (although I was skeptical of Castro thriving in the majors). The 2012 pimped out MI will be Grant Green. I’m going out on a limb and saying that now, meaning, it is possible Green could be 2011′s Starlin Castro. Green has a short compact swing that produces line drives and some slight natural loft. There are times when his swing becomes wonky, but for the most part he keeps his mechanics sound. His power potential is considered average – think potentially 20 home runs – Keith Law says, “[M]ight hit for more power if he didn’t leak or let the ball travel deeper, although his swing is probably more geared to line-drive contact than big flies. He’s patient and should post at least adequate OBPs, although pitchers can get him out now by changing speeds on him, an adjustment he’ll have to make by AA.” His defense ranges from solid to Gold Glove caliber depending on the scout. With a strong arm, soft hands, good range, and an athletic body, this seems to be a fair outlook. However, Keith Law has heard from scouts that they don’t believe Green will stay at shortstop while Sickels and Baseball America see him as a shortstop long-term – could end up at third or in the outfield where his plus speed would play well. This is how his 2010 season fared (Playing at High-A California League):

2010 Stats: .318/.363/.520 | 548 AB | 65 XBH | 20 Hr | .202 ISO | 9/5 SB/CS | 117:38 K:BB | .375 BABIP | 51.5 GB% | 14.6 LD% | 33.8 FB%

Career Stats: had only 20 plate appearances in addition to 2010 stats

League average slash line for California League hitters: .275/.344/.423 and Oakland’s minor league affiliate Stockton Ports slash line: .269/.350/.432. Green played well, all things considered, and received a postseason All-Star selection. His plus speed hasn’t really translated to the base paths with only nine steals in fourteen attempts, although he did leg out six triples. 117 strikeouts to only 38 walks isn’t exciting or confidence inducing. Matter of fact, a 4:1 K:BB probably means his .375 BABIP played a key role in his pretty looking slash line. (It is important to note, that although strikeouts are generally a bad thing, the more strikeouts a player has, the high his batting average on balls in play should be because he is putting fewer balls into play. Consequently, the balls that are put into player generally are hit better. See: Delmon Young, B.J. Upton, Mark Reynolds pre-2010, Adam Dunn in recent years. I can’t find the article at FanGraphs, but that is where I found out about this interesting point, but I digress.) The power looks to be in the doubles (39 of them this year) and the home runs, I personally believe, were due to his hitting environment. What you see here, would be his upside (See: Sickels: “At worst = .270-.280 with 15 hr; at best= .300 with 20 hr and Gold Glove defense. Has a high ceiling and a high floor.”). His low line-drive rate (14.6%) and high ground ball rate (51.5%) will result in fewer home runs in more pitcher friendly environments. Nevertheless, at just 22, these numbers are great. Scouts believe he is a poor man’s Troy Tulowitzki. I’d take that every year, let’s just hope he hits before September and isn’t as injury prone.

Kila Ka’aihue went 3-for-3, 4 Runs, 4 RBIs and 2 homers.  Also, he just missed a third homer that ended up a triple.  Mauna Kila!  He hasn’t hit for much average so far in the major leagues.  Or is it ma’ajor leagues?  His plate discipline is in impeccable and the peasant Royals would be wise to give him a starting job next spring, which could make him a sleeper for 2011 fantasy baseball.  But you put the wise moves the Royals make in one hand and the stupid moves in the other hand and you’ll need the empty hand that was supposed to hold the wise moves to help hold up the stupid moves hand.  Then have someone else move everything off the counter so there’s room to balance the weight of both hands that have become stupid move hands.  Then get some Lysol because it smells like rancid onions.  Oh, and Kila has another homer in the last week and is worth playing in the final week if you’ve lost some other players.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Josh Fields – Now 4 for his last 8 with 2 homers.  It must be ‘games don’t matter’ time, because the Royals look terrific.  Fields is worth a flier if you’re looking for a hot bat.

Jarrod Dyson – Promise this is the last Royal I’ll talk about.  Dyson is 1 for his last 23.  So why is it I own him on multiple teams?  Cause he also has 4 steals in that time.  SAGNOF!

Eric Young Jr. – With a bad case of the shins, Young’s done for the year and left wincing the night away.

Melvin Mora – 2-for-4 with a bunch of multiple hit games in the last week.  Yes, that’s all the optimism I can manage.  He’s hitting, what do you want?  (BTW, Nice job by the Colorado Chokies.  You can’t beat the Dodgers?  Really?  That’s pretty pathetic.)

Casey Blake – 2-for-5, 2 homers.  Yes, every borderline corner infidel is hot this week.  Thanks for asking.

Kenley Jansen – Got his 2nd save this week, but Kuo’s still the closer.  What I think is going on is Torre’s trying to burn out as many bullpen arms as he can in his final week for old times’ sake.

Adam Wainwright – La Russa, wearing a shirt made of veggie burgers, announced Wainwright’s done for the year.

Martin Prado – Also, done for the year.  He said this will give him more time to catch up on the episodes of I Love Money that he missed.  Hope he’s not too disappointed with the early elimination of 20 Pack.

Miguel Cabrera – Sounds like he’s done too.  No official word, but if you’re reading Leyland’s smoke signals, that’s what’s being said.

Carlos Beltran – Left the game with knee discomfort.  Wouldn’t surprise me if he were done for the year.  Don’t worry, Mets fans, Minaya’s working on a trade of Beltran’s knee for Chipper Jones’ lower back.

Randy Wolf – 7 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 4 Ks.  He’ll get the Reds in the last game of the season, which should be an absolute walk as I’m sure Dusty will sit everyone.  Hmm… That was weird.  I was thinking like Dusty Baker and I suddenly wanted to chew a toothpick and throw Harang for 175 pitches.

Edinson Volquez – 6 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 8 Ks.  Solid start, but this isn’t about that.  His next start (if there is one) will be the last game and, as previously mentioned, the Reds are going to be playing the game like an split squad spring training game.  I wouldn’t start Volquez in most leagues.

David Price – 8 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 8 Ks.  Wouldn’t be surprised if this is the last game of the season for Price.  Sorry, Price owners, would mean no Sunday vs. the Royals and Sean O’Sullied.  If he does start, Price may only go a few innings to stay fresh.

CC Sabathia – 8 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 8 Ks as he further confused Joe Morgan and how he’s not a landslide Cy Young winner.  Someone give Joe one of those water dunking birds to stare at.

Travis Snider – 2-for-4 with his third homer in the last week while he bats near .350.  Almost making Cito look good for batting Snider leadoff… Well, no, Snider leading off still looks silly, but he is hitting.

Mat Latos – 5 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 9 baserunners, 6 Ks.  I appreciate his efforts to bring his value down for next year’s drafts.  The real shame is the Padres might’ve overworked Latos to the point where he could be a mess next year and they might not make the playoffs either.

Carlos Pena – 1-for-2 with his 28th homer.  It almost goes without saying if he got a hit, it must’ve been a homer.  He doesn’t do those other kinds of hits.  Now Pena only needs 11 more homers to get to my preseason projection.  Get cracking!

Anibal Sanchez – 6 2/3 IP, 3 ER, 9 baserunners, 6 Ks.  Anibal gets the Pirates in the last start of the year.  I’d throw him (her?) there.

Ryan Braun – Scratched with a stomach flu.  I’m not accusing anyone, but my H2H opponent poisoned Braun’s oatmeal so I couldn’t play him.  Okay, I am accusing someone.

Nick Blackburn – 4 1/3 IP, 8 ER.  As I said last week, “Blackburn has around a 3.5 K/9.  To use the parlance of Johnnie Cochran, that’s egregious.  That’s an inning for Carlos Marmol.  Blackburn gets more bat contact than a wannabe-WAG.  When Twins fans go to a Nick Blackburn start, they bring so few K signs that they look racist.”  And that’s me quoting me!  Since there’s no Ks, it’s than but no thans for Blacburn’s last start.

Kelly Johnson – 2-for-3 with his 7th homer in September, after hitting 9 homers in April.  Someone likes the change of seasons.

Ryan Dempster – 7 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 9 Ks.  Gets the Astros for his final game of the season, which isn’t a bad start to go out on.

Alfonso Soriano – Hit his 23rd and 24th homers last night.  He might be having the worst 24 homer season in the history of baseball.  67 Runs?  Blech.  78 RBIs?  Belch.  5 steals?  Whatever.  .257 average?  Al-So’s so-so.

Jimmy Rollins – Returned to the lineup and went 1-for-3.  It’s the last week of the season, forget name value.  There’s probably a dozen guys more valuable for this last week.

Jose Contreras – Gave up a run and lost the game to the Nats.  It’s the curse of being on the cover of the AARP Magazine.

Adam Dunn – Hit his 38th homer yesterday.  The Nats have four more games for Dunn to hit two more homers or the world will explode.

Justin Smoak – Last roundup, I said, “I’d give Smoak a go for his last two games in Texas.”  Yesterday, he hit another homer.  Right now, there’s a fire burning under Smoak.

Felix Hernandez – 8 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 5 Ks to move to 13-12 on the year with a 2.27 ERA.  Says he’ll pitch on Sunday so he has one more start for the M’s offense to abandon him and let him get back to .500.  I will now bludgeon Jose Lopez with Chone Figgins’ arm.

Jose Lopez – Left the game with a dislocated middle finger.  I’m sure anyone that drafted Lopez can locate a middle finger for him.

Miguel Cabrera rolled his ankle the hard way, didn’t make his point and was immediately lifted from the game to have x-rays taken.  I have some back-of-a-comic-book x-ray glasses, but I wasn’t wearing them when it happened.  I’m only one man!  It looked pretty serious.  My mom was right, I could’ve been a doctor.  There’s a whole lot more zeroes in blogging.  Though that’s not zeroes as in money.  X-rays said it was a sprained ankle, should be more news about how many games he’ll miss.  I’m guessing quite a few.  In other words, it ain’t good.  In other other words, make other plans.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Martin Prado – Left the game with an injury to his left hip pointer.  That’s gonna make it hard for his sales presentation on Friday.   I’m guessing he’s done for the year.  If you wanna guess he’s not, then we’ll put my guess and your guess in the squared circle and let them duke it out.

Pedro Alvarez – 3-for-3 with his 14th homer.  He’s insanely hot right now, after winning Player of the Week honors.  You just lost Cabrera?  Hello, Pedro Alvarez.  You catch my drift?  I mean, you should, it was pretty clear.

Brandon Webb – Will not pitch this week.  If you drafted Webb, I got two words for you.  Ha.  Ha.

Brian Matusz – 7 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 8 Ks.  Everyone should know my feelings on AL East pitchers, especially ones on the lesser teams, so it’ll be hard for me to own Matusz next year, but he has made a strong case in the 2nd half of the year.

Nick Markakis – 2-for-5, but whatever.  Do you know he has 10 homers and 57 RBIs?  Marco Scutaro has more homers and only one less RBI.  Marco flippin’ Scutaro!

Tim Stauffer – 7 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 5 Ks.  In his final start, he gets the Giants in San Fran.  Best case scenario, Giants clinch the West and the Padres have to fight to win the Wild Card.  Worst case scenario, the Padres have to fight for a Wild Card and Stauffer gives up a quick run or two and Black pulls him for relievers.  Hope for the best.

A.J. Burnett – 2 1/3 IP, 7 ER.  I think a 10-15 record like Burnett has on a 93 Win team is almost as incredible as F-Her only having 12 wins on the M’s.  Cust kayin’.

Curtis Granderson – Hit his third homer in his last four games.  Actually has been a decent 2nd half for Grandy (which will only fuel his fantasy fire next preseason).  In 225 1st half ABs, 7 homers, .240 average.  In 229 2nd half ABs, 17 homers and .262.  Maybe him and Te(i)x can go play winter ball so they can be up to speed by April.

John Buck – 2-for-4 with his 19th homer.  I.e., ten more homers than Joe Mauer.

Vernon Wells – 3-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 31st homer.  There is gonna be a lot of people burned next year by Blue Jay hitters.  Some should be better (Lind, Snider), others will be worse (Wells, Bautista), another will be a complete crapshoot (Hill).

Marc Rzepczynski – 5 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 9 Ks.  Surprisingly, you can spell Rzepczynski without BBs, but he can’t pitch without them.

Adam Wainwright – Slept awkwardly and has a sore elbow and may not pitch again this year.  That’s weird because I figured he slept standing up since he’s been a horse of so many fantasy staffs.

Ryan Zimmerman – Says he’s done for the season.  I said that last Friday.  Okay, I’m coming clean.  I’m a time traveler.  Financial tip of the day:  invest in Blockbuster.

Alex Sanabia – 7 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 5 Ks.  He gets the Pirates in the Marlins’ final game of the season.  Depending on your situation, I’d give Sanabia a roll.

Justin Upton – Headed to see Dr. Freeze.  Don’t do it, J-Upside!  He’s gonna make you miss two years and you’ll never get your velocity back.

Jason Bay – Said he might be able to return in August, but he also thinks it’s April and Ronald Reagan’s president.

Brandon League – Got the save yesterday with Aardsma on the sidelines, or as they say in real estate, “Prime neighborhood adjacent.”

Adrian Beltre – 4-for-5, 2 RBIs.  Only six days left until the next contract and then Beltre can nap for three to five years with an option to wake in the fourth year.

Clay Buchholz – 8 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks.  Has a 2.33 ERA, 1.20 WHIP and 17 Wins on the year.  Yet, I gotta be honest, the 120 Ks in 173 2/3 IP is a bit of a red flag.

Alex Rios – Left the game with a bruised knee, which isn’t nearly as delicious as a braised knee.

Carlos Zambrano – 7 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 5 Ks.  His ERA after the All-Star break is below 2.  Yup.

Kevin Slowey – 1 2/3 IP, 6 ER.  Disappointing to the last drop.

Jarrod Dyson – 1-for-4 with his first career homer.  Not sure where that came from, but if you need steals, my man has wheels.  To be exact, 6 steals in 12 career games.

Justin Smoak – 3-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 11th homer after going 2-for-4 on Sunday.  As I tell my girlfriend, beware the small sample size, but I’d give Smoak a go for his last two games in Texas.

Carlos Carrasco – 6 IP, 3 ER, 12 baserunners, 5 Ks.  It wasn’t the prettiest win but you’ll take it and like it.

Luke Carlin – 2-for-4 with his first homer.  Seven words no one should say, “Should I pick up that catcher Carlin?”

Roy Halladay – 9 IP, 0 ER, 2 baserunners, 6 Ks as he probably clinched the Cy Young.  After the game, a Philly fan was overheard saying, “I’m so happy I could puke on someone, in the good way.”