If you drafted Manny this year, then you better make a new plan, Stan because Man-Ram is getting time off for bad behavior. 50 games to be exact. The reason – he came up positive for human chorionic gonadotropin, or HCG, which can be used to boost testosterone levels. Manny seems to be claiming his doctor prescribed it for erectile dysfunction but the drug is most often prescribed for…women’s fertility. Huh? And here we thought Alyssa Milano was the only person in the LA Dodger clubhouse taking those. Maybe Manny got screwed by a bad boner doctor but our money is on Scott Boras. He probably gave those pills to Manny, told him they were Flintstone vitamins, and Manny hallucinated Flintstone faces onto the vitamins.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Monthly Archives: May 2009
Early regrets…I had a few…
The Fantasy Roundtable this week is hosted by Tim Dierkes of RotoAuthority who I remain friendly with despite refusing my suggestion to add an animated Cartman to his site that says “Respect RotoAuthoritah“. His question:
Here on April 30th, what is your single biggest fantasy baseball regret of the year?
Please, blog, may I have some more?I was alerted yesterday in our fantasy baseball forums that Ozzie Guillen will be sitting Alexei Ramirez for Jayson Nix. And it may not be for just one game. This makes perfect sense. A guy who has never played a game at shortstop in the major leagues. A guy who got the Rockies starting job at 2nd last year and hit .125 and 2 extra-base hits in 56 ABs. A guy who couldn’t hold off Omar Quintanilla for the utility man role in Colorado. A guy whose last name says it all.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Confessions: 1) I force my two year old twins to practice swinging a bat from the left side. 2) My baby cries whenever I make him practice his split-finger or his circle-change (I don’t care if you’re two months old kid!
Please, blog, may I have some more?Chris Davis has 42 Ks in 88 ABs. That’s a pace of about 300 Ks. Not sure he gets there, but Mark Reynolds should be worried about his strikeout record. Back when I called Chris Davis a poor man’s Mark Reynolds, everyone and there’s Momma’s boyfriend wanted some Davis action. Back in June of 2008, when Davis was called up, I said, “(It) doesn’t mean he will strikeout 250 times and hit 50 HRs, but it gives you a bit of an idea of what kind of player he is.” Actually, he may strikeout 250 times. And that’s me quoting me linking to me and correcting me! I’m not saying any of this to push people to trade him away, but I think a lot of people thought they were getting a .300 hitter in Davis. He’s not. Average is a bit of a fluky thing, but, with the way Davis is striking out, he’s looking like a .240-.250 hitter. I still think as the weather heats up the homers will be flying, but check your expectations. Anyway, here’s what we saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Grady Sizemore – Sizemore got caught stealing for the 4th time yesterday in 9 tries. Last year he only was caught 5 times out of 44 tries. Grady hasn’t had this much trouble getting to 2nd base since he was a sophomore in high school and was still being ridiculed as Gravy Friesmore.
Please, blog, may I have some more?We all realize that a player’s lineup position will have an impact on his statistics. I’ve recently been pondering the fantasy impact of scenarios such as:
What is the impact of Russ Martin and Matt Kemp’s fantasy value if they hit 2nd vs.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Carlos Zambrano has managed to win 13 or more games for 6 straight years. It wasn’t easy. He had to get through a Sweatshop Foreman in Dusty Baker and a pitcher hater in Lou Piniella. He’s managed 17 HRs in his career and has almost hit his weight (.240). But, for some reason, he decides to lay down a bunt single and strains his hamstring trying to beat it out. Somewhere Michael Barrett chuckles. This sucks if you’re a Zambrano owner but doesn’t do much to change his value. He’ll miss 3-4 starts and come back to pitch at about 4.00 ERA, solid Ks, and a Win every other start. That’s assuming, though, he stops trying to emulate Juan Pierre. Anyway, here’s what else we saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Jonathan Sanchez – 4 IP, 4 ER. Walked in a run in the 1st. There’s got to be a direct correlation between pitchers walking in a run and how undesirable they are for fantasy. Maybe we can get Rudy to draw up a chart.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Ah, May. The time when trees are in full bloom, birds return to sing a new spring song, and you look at your fantasy baseball team and think, Holy Crikey I’m stuck in eighth place and my top three picks all suck and my bullpen is a mess and boy oh boy do I need saves.
Please, blog, may I have some more?With Travis Hafner likely on the DL for a while with a pronked shoulder, the Indians called up Matt LaPorta – their prize from sending Sabathia to Bratwurstland. He’s been tearing it up at AAA with a .333 AVG and 5 HRs in 75 AB. So could we be looking at Hafner Jr? Maybe, but it’s more likely we’re looking at a less K-friendly Jack Cust. He only has about a full season above AA and CHONE and ZIPS projections have him hitting .240-.250 with solid power (think 25 HRs if he got 500 ABs). Currently, he has OF eligibility in ESPN and 1B/OF in Yahoo. If you’ve got an extra hitting slot in a 12 team or greater league, he’s worth taking a flier on in case he starts off hot. Just don’t expect him to be el capitán – be happy if he provides marinero stats. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Psyche!
Please, blog, may I have some more?Greetings, fantasy baseball friends. Jersey Joe, a new columnist, here with the low-down on the AL starters who will climb the hill twice this week (Monday-Sunday). Always remember that predicting pitching performance is like predicting the weather, but that said, here are my thoughts for the week…
RANKINGS
1. Zack Greinke (KC) – CHW (Colon), @LAA (Loux)
My $.02: He’s the AL shizz right now at the SP spot, no doubt. Don’t need to check any matchups, opponent OPS, etc. Start him until further notice.


