I didn’t think I was going to be needed to write this overrated post. I figured Troy Tulowitzki is who he is at this point. Everyone knew who they were getting. Nothing new here to see. Old hat as milliners say. Then a weird thing happened. I started looking at where Tulowitzki was being ranked, and drafted. That’s when the “what the effs” started to set in. Was Tulo suddenly reborn a Canadian superhero by the name of Mooseknuckles in his new home in Toronto? Was there something that uber-handsome, but slightly stupid, Fantasy Master Lothario, Grey Albright, was missing? Could I come up with one more question for the Rule of Three? These questions all ran through my mind. Granted, while Tulo was running through my mind, he nearly pulled his hamstring making this whole argument moot, but he was still there at the end of my soul searching. Standing metaphorically on the tip of medulla oblongata about to take a step into my subconscious. Was this Tulo or the blue Janeane Garofalo-looking girl in Inside/Out? Or is that Janeane Garofalo in a blue sweater in front of me in line at a Pressed Juicery? Should I ask her why she doesn’t gain weight again so she can regain her funny? So many questions, so little time. Tulo was about to bat in one of the most potent lineups, and, for now, had two working hamstrings, why can’t I get on board? My existential crisis reached such a fever pitch my eyes started to move in opposite directions like Jean-Paul Sartre. Anyway, why is Troy Tulowitzski overrated for 2016 fantasy baseball?
His projections are surprisingly similar across many platforms of prognosticators. A pack of prognosticators to parse, said Sally into her seashell until suddenly surmising it wasn’t a speaker. Fine, let’s parse, parsley heads: ZiPS gives him 57/17/61/.261/1 in 414 ABs and Razzball/Steamer projections gives him 75/21/72/.258/2 in 523 ABs. These are the best projections in the business. They are really all you need to know. If you want to suckle at my mustachioed teet, my stat line for Tulo this year is: 75/20/78/.271/2 in 499 ABs. They’re all relatively the same thing, because everyone should know who Tulo is by now. He is who he is, as they say to describe everyone when nothing else will do. Last year, Tulo had 77/17/70/.280/1 in 128 games. He hasn’t played in over 128 games in four years and he’s now 31 years old. I love (don’t love) people who say, “Yeah, but he’s now in the stacked Blue Jays lineup!” Right, and he was playing in the Dead Ball Era prior? Before last year’s 2nd half, he was in the Seattle Pilots lineup while they were playing in North Korea, where home runs are illegal to hit because they cause celebrations? Yeah, totally. Tulo had an awful place to hit prior to the Blue Jays. He was just in Coors. That’s a terrible hitting environment! Last year, Tulo finished as the 110th best player in all of fantasy, according to our Fantasy Baseball Player Rater. Our Preseason Player Rater has him ranked 123rd overall. I have him ranked 96th overall for this year. Silly me, I thought he might be slightly better this year! Geez, I am stupid! Oh, wait, everyone else thinks he’s going to be nearly two times as good, according to their rankings. Oh, Wait, Part II: Wait For This One; as I just showed with projections, no one thinks he’s going to be that much better, they just have him ranked five rounds too high! Seriously, everyone thinks he’s going to be exactly what you expect, but they have him ranked in the 50s. You thought writing these overrated posts was hard? No, I just poke holes in misguided logic that people are saying with their rankings. Random Fantasy ‘Pert, “Tulo should be ranked around 50th overall and do exactly what he did last year.” Me, “Um, but if he does exactly what he did last year, then he’ll be only as valuable as around the 100th best player.” Them, “Yeah, but his lineup and ballpark.” Me, “Um, he played in Coors last year with a solid lineup.” Them, “I’m in the mood for pancakes!” And once again I get Sartre googly eyes. There’s no reason Tulo should be drafted in the top 50 as everyone else has him ranked. You’re welcome.
