Tim Hudson is on track to make a rehab start. If all goes well, and that if is ginormous, then he can return to the Braves for their failed chase for the Wild Card. Recovering from Tommy John is usually the same no matter what, shorty. Pitchers usually return to three-quarters of their former selves or they can become seven-fifths of their former selves, which is to say they can be better. Though they’re not usually better when they are first reactivated. They usually return slightly less than three-quarters. If you’re half as confused by those fractions as I am writing them, let me break it down to you, nice and simple like Minnie Pearl. Tim Hudson’s worth stashing on your DL for matchups, but the upside is merely usable in 12 team leagues. Don’t expect miracles. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Scott Baker – 4 1/3 IP, 6 ER. He shows you some solid starts, then he shits your house.
Michael Cuddyer – 4-for-5, 2 HRs and 19 homers on the year. The quietest 19 homers anyone has in the majors. Oh, wait. Jason Kubel also has 19 homers. Meanwhile, some schmohawk who’s batting .219 for the Sox is ESPN’s lead story.
Carl Pavano – 7 IP, 0 ER in his debut for the Twins on Saturday. Still not a huge fan of 4th or 5th fantasy starters from the AL, but Pavano should be slightly better on the Twins. I wouldn’t pick him up in most leagues, but there might be a situation where it makes sense.
Brian Matusz – 2 2/3 IP, 5 ER, 9 baserunners as he roofied you. Remember that when you read about Derek Holland’s great start in about three minutes.
Marco Scutaro – HR yesterday as he went 4-for-5. Has 10 homers and 8 steals and a .300 average. Somewhere Polanco says, “Hey, that’s my season!”
Trent Oeltjen – 3-for-4 and a HR yesterday. Sometimes it takes a few weeks for pitchers to get the scouting reports on guys. Worth grabbing The Outback while pitchers try to figure him out. Keep in mind he looks like he’s sitting vs. lefties.
Yusmeiro Petit/Joel Pineiro – 4 IP, 3 ER, 10 baserunners and 7 IP, 3 ER, 6 Ks and the Win. Guess there’s only room for one -eiro.
Mark Reynolds – HR yesterday. For those that don’t own the Mini-Donkey. He now has 8 homers in the last 10 games. He’s real and he’s spectacular.
Aaron Cook – Will miss his next start because of turf toe, which would’ve been avoided if God gave us all Nerf toes.
Carlos Gonzalez – 7 for his last 15 as he started every game this weekend for the Rox. I doubt they start him vs. lefties, but in deep leagues he’s worth a flier.
Tim Stauffer – 5 IP, 1 ER, 6 Ks. Solid start, just Johan outpitched him. I just had a crazy idea, imagine Johan pitched his home games in a stadium as spacious as Petco… Oh, wait.
Eugenio Velez – 2-for-4, after hitting homers in back-to-back games on Friday on Saturday. No idea how he hit those homers, I’m assuming 120 MPH winds were blowing out and they let Velez hit from 2nd base. Either way, he’s batting .400 over the last seven games. He’s really just steals, but while he’s hot he’s worth a flier.
David Weathers – Heads to the Brewers. Now the Brewers have Tackleberry (Weathers), Guttenberg (Braun) and Hooks (Fielder).
Felipe Lopez – 1-for-3, batting .303 on the season with 6 homers and 6 steals. Marco Scutaro just looked at those numbers and yawned. Steal a base, Lopez! Hit a homer! Do something!
Russell Branyan – HR yesterday as I sat him because he was facing a lefty. Sonavabench!
Matt Diaz – HR yesterday vs. a lefty and batting .350 on the year vs. lefties. If you have the room, Diaz do what he do vs. lefties.
Derek Holland – Complete game shutout, 8 Ks. Go back and look at Matusz’s line if you’ve forgotten.
Garrett Jones – 1-for-4, you have three games in Coors to hit a homer then we’re done-zo.
Jed Lowrie – Headed to the DL. In other news, Julio Lugo’s batting .345 for the Cards.
Alexei Ramirez – HR yesterday. Let’s put it this way, I’m not dropping Alexei (though I might in mid-September when anything goes), but Alexei has a long way to go before he falls into that category of guys I won’t draft on any team next year.
Wandy Rodriguez – 7 IP, 0 ER. Honestly, even when I said everyone should draft him in February, I had no idea the Wandwagon could roll like this.
Scott Kazmir – What a fucker.
Rajai Davis – 2 steals yesterday. If you need steals, SAGNOF!
Bobby Crosby – 2 HRs yesterday. Elias Sports Bureau said these two homers by Bobby Crosby were the most by any player that you thought was no longer in the league. Actually, they did not say that. But overheard this week at the Elias Sports Bureau offices, “For the first time since last year, Ralph in Human Resources tried to fool Parking Enforcement with a homemade handicapped sign.”
