You know who’s happiest about Kolten Wong being called up? The Vatican. Finally, something non-Catholic related will show up in search results when you Google ‘Cardinal + Wong + 2nd base.’ Somewhere, Dan Brown is scribbling notes for a new thriller…the Catholic church took a page out of the playbook of the Native Americans, who having foreseen the Internet in a 1973 peyote-inspired dream, worked to make sure the practice of reselling tickets was known as scalping. So now you Google ‘Indians + scalping’ and the search results are just a way to get cheap seats in Progressive Field. Wong’s call-up crowds the Cardinals infield in the weirdest of ways. Wong can’t play shortstop. It says here. There. Where I just wrote here. He can’t play 3rd. Says there. Where I wrote it. Can’t play 1st. Says here. Next to where I wrote here. He plays 2nd, Carpenter goes to 3rd and Freese goes on ice. Sorta surprised by this because the Cardinals know that seriously reduces Freese’s trade value, but he was seriously reducing his trade value by playing. But, wait, why do we care? What can Wong do right? Here’s what Prospect Scott said just two days ago, “Wong has caught a heater at the right time, hitting .333/.429/.556 with 2 homers and 2 stolen bases through his last 10. Too bad Grey can’t catch a heater in his groin.” What? Why? On the year in the minors, Wong has a line of 10 HRs, 20 steals and a .303 average. That’s close to what I’d expect of him in the majors too. He has a great eye at the plate (60 Ks, 41 BBs) and nice speed. Maybe a handful of homers and steals in the last six weeks with a good average. In keepers, he’s a must have. In redrafts, I’d grab him in all leagues for upside. I’m excited. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
WHO ARE YOU BRUCE CHEN?! I demand answers immediately. I know, yesterday was just against the Marlins, so we can write off the 7 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 6 Ks game. But when I put into my supercomputer (that has a mustache too) that Chen has a 1.62 ERA in 72 1/3 IP, my supercomputer walks out the door…And it doesn’t even have legs! If you woke from a season-long coma and saw Chen’s ERA, you’re liable to have a sudden case of Toxic Shock Syndrome (I might be confusing diseases here). So, can the Chen man keep wokking and rolling like he’s Martin Yan? No way in this giant-lush-covered-in-water-thanks-to-Al-Gore planet. He’s not a sub-2 ERA pitcher. He’s barely a 4-ERA pitcher. As a sabermetrician altered license plate in New Hampshire reads, Regress or Die. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
When I told you to pick up Joaquin Benoit yesterday, I was 85% sure he would close games until the Tigers traded for Papelbon, who will be known in Detroit as a Papelbonneville. Then, because Leyland reads Razzball between smokes, he named Benoit closer by not naming him the closer. He said, “I’m not naming anybody closer. I’m just saying if Benoit was available right now, I would try to close with him.” Thanks for clarifying! Managers deciding on a closer is like debating euthanasia. Valverde’s done, pull the plug! The Yelp reviews for Benoit are through the roof, but there’s a lot of five star reviews from fantasy baseballers with only one other closer. I’d grab Benoit in all leagues and hope he can hold the job and make the thought of trading for Papelbonneville absurd. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
If I were the type to gloat, I’d say I told you to not draft David Wright. I’m not that type of fantasy baseball ‘pert though. Nah, I simply get satisfaction from not owning him anywhere and watching as teams that do own him scramble looking for replacements. ….Okay, it’s similar to gloating, but […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
Andrew Bailey will need thumb surgery, according to one doctor. He’s scheduled to get a second opinion today. That second doctor’s gonna say, “The first doctor and I play golf and he only sent you to me to run up your doctor bills. Of course you need surgery.” My opinion is Bailey is always […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
Organizational Talent Rankings via Baseball America 2012 (15) | 2011 (2) | 2010 (9) | 2009 (6) | 2008 (8) | 2007 (15) 2011 Affiliate Records MLB: [89-73] NL East AAA: [78-65] International League – Gwinnett AA: [61-79] Southern League – Mississippi A+: [60-78] Carolina League – Lynchburg A: [60-80] South Atlantic League – Rome […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
Rookie pitchers give you a roofie. Rookie hitters give you agita. So why do we keep going back for more like a guest on Montel? It’s sorta like the old joke that Woody Allen quotes in Annie Hall. We need the eggs. Besides said eggs, if a rookie somehow/someway breaks out, he’ll help you win […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
The top 20 shortstops for 2012 fantasy baseball are a shallow bowl of dung and even the catchers are ranked ahead of them for depth. All the 2012 fantasy baseball rankings can be found under that thing that says 2012 fantasy baseball rankings. (Don’t worry, one of my New Year’s Resolutions is to link to […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
Tyler Pastornicky was born 12/13/1989, which is crazy young, good lord. Certainly he’s too young to have been a fifth round draft pick THREE YEARS ago by the Toronto Blue Jays. Or not, I suppose. He made his way down to Georgia as part of the semi-big trade that exiled Yunel Escobar and his “’tude” […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
Atlanta Braves 2010 Minor League Review Overall farm rankings via Baseball America (2010) 2010 (13) | 2009 (6) | 2008 (8) | 2007 (16) | 2006 (7) | 2005 (5) | 2004 (4) Record of Major and Minor League Teams MLB: [91 – 71] NL East AAA: [72 – 71] International League – Gwinnett AA: […]Please, blog, may I have some more?