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As a child, I don’t know if there was a more overblown fear than the inherent fear of quicksand.  It seemed from Scooby Doo to Gilligan’s Island, there was always a person falling into quicksand.  I learned to carry a stick around with me everywhere I went because that seemed to be the only true action needed to be taken.  Simply reach out your stick to passer-by’s and they will pull you to safety.  Did I think I was just gonna fall into quicksand while on my way to Pizza Hut to play Mortal Kombat?  Who knows?  I was a dumb kid.  

Saves and Stolen Bases are our quicksand.  That was the whole point of that cockamamie story.  At the beginning of the season, we knew that Saves and Stolen Bases would be our quicksand.  Fearful and hoping that we had that stick with us, to be pulled to safety.  Well damnit, I feel like I still haven’t gotten over that fear.  I still have that stick, and I wish I could just forget and go back to Pizza Hut, with my BookIt coupon in hand for that free pizza, and just drop $15 into Mortal Kombat.  Either way, follow this weeks formula and Finish your opponent with a Flawless Victory.  

Please, blog, may I have some more?

SAGNOF info is the best way to get a leg up on the SAGNOF trade.  (I challenged myself to use that anagram twice in the same sentence.) Challenge accomplished, and in the first line too! Wish I had longer arms than those baby T-Rex arms because the pats on the back wouldn’t stop.  As I continue the back lauding, the week upcoming is a bear market in steals.  The year is mimicking the previous year’s steals downward trend, as it is down almost 8% of the pace from last years total to date.  So if you have a valuable piece of steals bait that isn’t doing so great, let’s say his name is “Billy Hamilton” and you are having trouble getting ample trade value for him…  read this post so it can be explained that despite his sub-200 average and lower than expected 5 steals to date, he still has stolen base value.  Yes, you are going to have to trade for 75 cents on the dollar, but explain this to someone looking for steals and are down on Billy that he is still top-20 in steals and with that 5 steals total, he would be at 20% of most teams total steals on the year in fantasy.  That number obviously changes by league type and such, and I took an average of all the leagues I myself compete in (median is 31).  So while I sit here and let you either figure out how to sell high or buy low on Billy Hamilton, continue the read and learn about the steals that will come, have happened, and the week’s thievery to be.  Cheers!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Let’s play a quick game of Jeopardy. I’ll take “Inappropriate Clues for $1000 Alex”. Ok, here’s your clue. “It’s not wise to upset a wookie.” If your answer is “what did Han Solo say to C-3PO regarding the holographic game between R2-D2 and Chewbacca aboard the Millennium Falcon?” then you’d be wrong. The correct answer is “what did Hisashi Iwakuma say when I asked him what he thought about playing a prank on Carlos Correa“. And before anyone goes and gets offended by that I’d like to point out that the category was “Inappropriate Clues” and before I moved forward with it I got the approval of Yu Darvish, Norichika AokiMasahiro Tanaka and Ichiro Suzuki. They all got a good raff out of it. So should you.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

busta

When did Busta Rhymes get so fat? Dayam!!! Dude looks like he ate the Busta Rhymes I remember that put out some great music back in the late 90’s and early 2000’s. I’m not much of a rap fan, but I was always a Busta fan. When he sang “Gimme Some More” who knew he was talking to the guy that was putting food on his plate. Did you hear what the talking M&M said to Busta in that unreleased M&M’s commercial? Put your hands where my eyes can see. Sorry Busta, it’s too easy. Please spend less time at the all you can eat buffets with Billy Butler and CC Sabathia and more time making dope music. I’m sure there’s a spot in the Fast and Furious 8 Soundtrack for you.

Please, blog, may I have some more?