Did you know that Rockies starter Chad Bettis is the only major league player in history with the last name Bettis? That means he’s the best Bettis, but he’s also the worst. What a claim to fame. The most famous Bettis of all time is NFL Hall of Famer and former Pittsburgh Steelers beast, Jerome Bettis. Here is something you already know: Chad ain’t Jerome. Hell, Chad doesn’t even play football. Does Chad have a restaurant in the town where he made most of his money? I didn’t think so. Anyway, we are talking about baseball since, you know, this is only Day 3 of the 2016 season. I love early season exploitation and that’s really what this is all about. Chad Bettis is the Colorado Rockies’ number two starter. His career ERA is 5.22. Just ponder that for a couple of moments. Do you see dollar signs yet? This is my first article here at Razzball and I’m happy to be aboard. At the end of the day it’s all about the Benjamin’s, baby. So let’s dog pile on Chad Bettis and kick off the first Tuesday of the season by being ballers and shot-callers. We deserve it.

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Please, blog, may I have some more?