You ever scroll down an online recipe for 20 minutes to the actual recipe, and your index finger starts getting hot from the friction? Kyle Schwarber (2-for-4, 4 RBIs, 20th and 21st homer) is hotter than that. You ever get in your car, that’s been parked in the sun, touch the black steering wheel and see smoke rise from your palms? Schwarber’s hotter than that. You ever cut a habanero and touch your junk? Schwarber’s about that hot. So, Kyle Schwarber has eight homers in a five-game span. The only player with more was Shawn Green at nine homers in 2002. Cue a Jewish person saying Shawn Green was Jewish. Shawn Green also had the help of a four-homer game in that streak. And prolly steroids. And, yes, his yarmulke. Home runs since June 12th: Miami Marlins with 12; Schwarber with 12. Kyle Schwarber is the first player in MLB history to hit 11 homers from the leadoff spot in 13 games. Schwarber only had nine homers through the first two months of the season. I will now cackle for 45 minutes and be right back to you. WHAT THE WHAT. Hey, good for you if you have Schwarber, I do in a couple of leagues. Will it continue? What, multi-homers every game? Haha, c’mon, bros and five sisters. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball: