Urbandictionary.com says that Souzz is the verb form of Souza, which is defined as, (noun) the unannounced general feeling in the air to engage in sexual contact, usually generated upon contact, eye contact, or sight of appearance. Yup, pretty much sums up with “relationship” with Steven Souza.
I’ve been infatuated with Souza since 2014, when he hit 18 home runs, stole 26 bases, had a .350 average, and posted a 12.8% walk rate with an 18.4% strikeout rate in Triple-A. Unfortunately, that success did not translate to the major leagues and the Souza-experience was born. Would make a hell-of-a-ride at Six Flags. Now, some injuries derailed the 2015 and 2016 seasons, but the Souza was not the same. The strikeout rate was in the mid-30s, the walk rate decreased to the single-digits, and batting average plummetted. It’s called the Big Leagues for a reason. I became relegated to the fact that the Souza would not be as fulfilling as I once dreamed about…
But alas…here we are in 2017 getting excited again! Our Steven has hit four home runs, is batting .296, has a walk rate of 10.6%, and has dropped his strikeout rate to 28.5%. Will this Souza be Danielle Steele-esque? For starters, the BABIP is .406, so there’s been some luck involved. I do like that he’s hitting more line drives (30.1%), which would be a career-high. I also like that he’s swinging at fewer pitches outside the strike zone (24.3%), which would be a career-low.
I do feel that we are approaching the top of the roller coaster, though. The swinging strike rate is 11.1% and contact rates are 75.5% overall and 84.5% in the strike zone. Those are eerily similar to his short stint with the Nationals back in 2014. Back then, the swinging strike rate was 11%, contact rate was 74.5%, and contact rate in the strike zone was 84.9%. Things went downhill from there. I’m trying to remember if it was the hotdog or pretzel I puked out that time.
Another thing that I’m not so fond of is Souza’s lack of stolen bases. As in zero…ziltch…nada. He hasn’t even attempted one. I guess it makes sense, considering he had freaking hip surgery in the off-season. The Souzz without 20/20 upside would be so unfulfilling. Like that girl or guy that wouldn’t go down.
But you know what? I believe this song sums it all up.
I’m a sucker for the Souzz, so I’m going to keep going there. For you logical folk, just stay away. For the curious-minded out there, as long as your expectations are kept it check, the Souza-experience is just like any drug. You’ll get some highs, but just be prepared for the inevitable low.
