He looks like a skinny Craig Wilson or an un-curly-haired Eric Byrnes. He’s got no one batting around him unless you count six schmohawks, a pitcher and the X-Man. Is Nate McLouth worth a pickup? Weirdly, yes. He is. Will he continue this? Well, my partner (not in a gay way) Rudy Gamble definitely thinks so. So I watched McLouth play against the Cubs and, not surprisingly, Rudy’s right. McLouth’s locked in right now and deserves a pickup. Weird, right? Unfortunately, he’s probably not available for you to pickup. Oh, yeah, and K-Rod’s injured. Okay, here’s what else I saw yesterday:
Francisco Rodriguez – Seems to have injured his ankle. Justin Speier or Scot Shields? I think they turn to Shields because he’s been there longer. A loyalty thing. They might go with Speier. A who’s-better-right-now thing. Where I was able to, I picked up both until this shakes out. Where I wasn’t able to, I went with Shields.
Howie Kendrick – Left with a thumb injury, but it doesn’t appear serious since he stayed in for a few innings after injuring it.
Joe Borowski – Seriously? How is he still the closer? They don’t have one guy better than him. They have two. Borowski isn’t fit to pitch the seventh inning of blowouts. (BTW, after he blew the save by allowing a walk-off grand slam, they played that crappy American Idol song, “Bad Day.” Classic.
Joey Votto – Dusty put in Javier Valentin to pinch hit instead of Votto. Does this mean anything to you? It should.
Brad Lidge – Edwin Encarncion came close to proving Brantley wrong again and hitting another clutch home run. But it turned into a fairly unremarkable long out except, when Encarncion hit the ball to the warning track, Lidge dropped his head like he had just learned his wife left him for his sister. Seriously, Lidge might cry by the end of the year. Not great for a closer.
Felipe Lopez – Played left field. Well, I guess Acta forgave him for sleeping with his wife and threw him in the lineup. Does his value go up with outfield eligibility? No, not really. But if Felipe is starting coupled with his MI eligibility from last year, he’s worth a looksee. This doesn’t mean he’s starting every day yet. It’s at a wait-and-see right now.
Bartolo Colon – Not sure if anyone out there in AL-only leagues was waiting for him to return, but he just landed on the minor league DL with a strained oblique. Whatevs. You got bigger fish to fry with your team if you were waiting for Bart Colon.
Chris Snyder – Dropped to the eighth spot. Well, that didn’t take long. Oh, well.
Carlos Ruiz – He is killing me, cause in the preseason I named Ruiz to the All-Grey-Talks-About Team. There’s nothing worse than grabbing a player and holding onto him out of spite no matter all the signs saying drop him. It’s still early, but soon I might ask you to punt this puta.
Adrian Gonzalez – I sure hope he keeps up his torrid hitting. Unfortunately, he started really hot last year, as well. I’m beginning to think I might say A-Gone in a trade in June.
Brad Thompson – I bid $3 on him in my NL-only league. Just sayin’.
Wilson Betemit – Played short, replacing Jeter when he left the game with an injury. If Pretty Boy hits the DL and Betemit fills in, I think he’s an immediate grab in AL-only and a looksee in mixed.
Jose Valverde – He’s not a safe reliever. If I had a dollar for every time he burned me, I’d have three or four dollars. That’s all I’m saying right now.
Franklin Gutierrez – I’m worried; he’s pressing. Hopefully it doesn’t last too long or FraGu (<—-forced nickname) may find himself in the nine hole.
Mark Reynolds – I fingercuffed myself with him. (Fingercuffing — in relation to fantasy baseball — is when you have him on a regular team and also on your Fantasy Razzball team, which rewards sucking and striking out and overall crappiness.) Anyway, each home run and strikeout simultaneously pulls me in two separate emotional directions. Hence, fingercuffing.)
Nick Blackburn – He looked good again. And, to be honest, I still don’t know what to make of him. I don’t think he’s as good as he looked, but if you’re in a deep league and need pitching, you gotta take a flier, right?
Tom Gorzelanny – FYI, I dropped him in the one league I was in. Sure, it was only a ten team mixed league, but, well, now you know.
Ronnie Paulino – He’s not even starting against lefties now? Ugh. Good news for Doumit owners, bad news for Paulino owners (as if there are any). And, because I know the comments are coming, yes, I would drop Ruiz for Doumit if you can grab him.
Juan Pierre – Matt Kemp is being benched for him — for the third straight game! The Pierre Situation will have more victims than victors.
Tom Glavine – My hand that holds how crappy the Rockies were is lower than my hand that is holding how good Glavine was.
Rich Harden – He’s headed to the DL. Seriously, why bother?