Takes a long inhale…Ah, is that baseball I’m smelling? It is, isn’t it? It is, it is! Honestly, I think it’s starting to smell like baseball. Sadly, MLB has a long list of regulations they’re going to institute in order to play games this year. Will it still be baseball even without the spitting and tobacco and clubhouse showering and towel-ass-slaps and celebrations involving hugging and touching and extended wet willies where players giggle then slap away their teammates’ hand and–Wait, did MLB ban baseball-related activities or reenacting the pool scenes from Y Tu Mama Tambien? So hard to say! “Hey, Skip, I was wondering if I could snap my towel on my teammate’s butt.” “Not this year, kid.” “Hmm…Can I watch the Oscar-winning film Moonlight?” “I will have to check the rules and regulations on that one.” Any hoo! Baseball sounds like it’s getting close, as I’ve been saying for the last six weeks. I’m not in the business of predictions but the world can only shut down completely for so long before the powers that be start exerting their, uh, power that, uh, be. Last year in 121 games and 376 ABs across two levels (Triple-A and MLB), Kevin Cron hit 44 homers. *smiles wide* Don’t mind if I do! On our Prospectonator, Cron is projected for 33 homers. Yelled like Fat Bastard, “Get in my lineup!” He has legitimately no chance of playing without the universal DH, but that seems a foregone conclusion now, so giddy + up = giddy up. It’s simple math, tee bee aitch. So, what can we expect from Kevin Cron for 2020 fantasy baseball and what makes him a great dart throw?
Kevin Cron is the greatest power hitter in the modern era. Cron makes his brother, Ceej, look like a slap hitter. Have you seen Kevin Cron hit bombs? He looks like a throwback to a bygone era. When hitters hit homers and fans screamed, “Dong!” without sounding alarms in the Human Resources’ office. A HR that didn’t wake HR, as a man just as pithy as me once said because I was that man. I salute your dong, Kevin Cron. From at least six feet away, though. “I know how to social distance,” is what I write on my LinkedIn profile’s Special Skills section. I’m really starting to dig guys who previously had no chance of playing. Not just guys like Cron with terrible gloves, though with the DH, that helps. Nope, I mean guys who previously had no place to play in their lineup. My enthusiasm is compounded when I see a guy who not only had no room to play but also would’ve been shoved into the minor leagues. With no minor leagues this year, this year is gonna be fun with random guys getting a long look. The Diamondbacks might first try Jake Lamb at the DH spot, but his one proven ability is not being able to hit lefties. Career mark of .169 in 379 ABs. His track record vs. righties isn’t exactly stellar either. If Lamb is baaahd out of the gate, the Diamondbacks will quickly shepherd in Cron, who hits bombs vs. everyone. If nothing else, Cron and Lamb will platoon to start, but once we see Lamb of old, who is tough to own and gamey, Cron will take over DH duties. Admittedly, Cron isn’t exactly a great bet for a good average. Steamer does project him for a .247 average, and he hit .331 in Triple-A, but, yeah, he’s not going to hit for a good average with neutral luck. Oddly enough, Kevin Cron and C.J. Cron’s projections are practically identical if they both have the same number of at-bats. (If you type ‘Cron’ into Name filter on the Steamer projections page, you can see what I mean.) Either way, and again with a little stank, EITHER WAY! Cron is great dart throw late for power.
