In my 2016 fantasy baseball rookies series that has a spinoff in the works titled, 2016 Fantasy Baseball Rookies: The College Years, I try to keep these rookies juicy as all get-out. Like the hype for said player is so juicy it can only be described as drip-down-the-chin juicy. It is more juicy than the seat of Kim Kardashian’s sweatpants that actually read Juicy! With that said (grab onto something, Grey’s turning the ship!), Hector Olivera isn’t that juicy. Maybe it’s being on the Braves that sucks the juicy out of him. To find out, let me do an experiment. *rolls an elderly man into the room* The Braves! *elderly man yawns* The Rockies at home! *elderly man gasps, clutching his heart* That experiment confirms my suspicions. The Braves just aren’t that exciting. *turns back to elderly man* I’ll call the paramedic when I’m done with the post. There’s no cure for this yawnstipation, as far as I can see. The one good thing about a rookie playing on the Braves is I’d be shocked if Olivera doesn’t play from day one and get penciled in at the top of the order. I mean who else do the Braves have? Adorable Adonis Garcia? Ryan Lavarnway and Shirley? Nick Swisher’s Sideburns? I don’t think the Sideburns can even play 3rd base. I mean, they’re just hair. Anyway, what can we expect of Hector Olivera for 2016 fantasy baseball?
Anecdotes about some of his travels while playing for the Cuba National team. Ah, the places he went… As for fantasy, yeah, that’s an effin’ puzzle. Olivera makes my brain hurt he has so many question marks. I look at a picture of him, and I can’t help seeing him in The Riddler’s question-marked leotards. He says he’s 30 years old, others have speculated that he’s really a Latin 30 and closer to 35 years old. He was injured this year, and came to this country with so many injury concerns that the Dodgers put an injury stipulation in his contract. This is the same Dodgers that signed Rollins and traded for Utley, so they’re not exactly a conservative organization with money. Then Olivera, proving out his reputation, was hurt last year. Olivera hasn’t played more than 70 games in a season since 2013. Watching Olivera hit, he looks like Hanley Ramirez. The good Hanley, not the one that you wanted to do awful things to this past year. Actually, maybe, interjection, he is the Hanley of this past year that can’t stay on the field. When he came to this country, there was hope of 6-9 steals, but I think that’s a pipe dream like something The Iron Sheik would have while smoking crack. Now, I’d be surprised by as many as five steals from Olivera. There’s just too much risk with his legs. There’s obviously a huge amount of risk, upside, downside and unknown here. For this year, I’ll give him the projections of 51/14/56/.272/2 in 475 ABs, but I honestly wouldn’t be shocked to see him get injured in Spring Training and never amount to anything.
