Here’s some 2nd half hitters for fantasy baseball who should be better than they were in the first half. To come up with this list, I scoured the last three years of post-All-Star Break numbers, ran it through a supercomputer that’s bigger than your Peugeot, pasted the supercomputer-generated names to my shirt like dollar bills on a wedding dress then went to a palm reader to help me pick ten names out of the thousands. The palm reader’s name was Erica Karabell. Anyway, here’s the best 2nd half fantasy baseball hitters for 2010:
Derrek Lee – Last year, he played the 2nd half like he was walking onto a yacht with an apricot scarf. I think last year was an anomaly, which is a fancy word for saying ignore Derrek Lee’s 2nd half. But if you’re choosing between the schmohawk behind door #3 and Lee, then I’d go with Lee just for the chance he can repeat even a tiny bit of last year, so that’s negating the negation.
Matt Holliday – Hit 24 homers in 263 ABs in the 2007 2nd half, 16 homers in 2008 and 16 in 2009, while also having the 6th best average in the majors. Holliday’s on holiday in the 1st half and Holliday’s Holliday in the 2nd half. Any questions? Yeah, what are you talking about? Not now, random italicized voice.
Prince Fielder – Last year, he led the majors with 24 homers. If anyone besides Ryan Howard can hit 20+ homers in 2 and a half months, it’s Prince.
Carlos Pena – 26 homers in 07’s 2nd half. 17 homers in the 2nd half of 2008. Last year, he hit 15. This year I say he hits as many as it takes to give him 39 for the year. Why? Cause Pena is a 39 homer guy. Yes, it’s that scientific.
Ryan Zimmerman – Always hits for a better average in the 2nd half, but last year he also chucked in 19 homers. If you currently own Holliday, Zimmerman and Fielder on the same team, you’re enjoying this post so far, huh? Go take a steam, you’re done for today.
Magglio Ordonez – Consistently hits for more power and a better average in the 2nd half. Not someone I’d necessarily trade for, but if he was a throw-in into another trade, I wouldn’t kick him out of bed.
Nyjer Morgan – Had the third best average in last year’s 2nd half just in front of Joe Mauer and Howie Kendrick (<–bonus name!). So far this year, Nyjer’s been a bit unlucky (though he was a bit lucky during last year’s 2nd half). If all things were equal, I’d look like Tom Cruise, have duckets like Bill Gates and Nyjer would have a good 2nd half.
Ty Wigginton – Honestly, I think Wiggy might’ve used up all his goodwill in April and May, so I’m not saying trade for him, but he has been better in the 2nd half for the last 4 years.
Adam LaRoche/Mark Teixeira – What would a list of post-All-Star break hitters be without Mark Teixeira and Adam LaRoche? Nada, nada, nada damn thing…
