Hey, you here cuz you thought this was a post saying to pick on Atlanta? Well you just got punk’d worse than Ashton Kutcher did when got told he was getting introduced to Demi at a party and thought it was Lovato. Don’t think about the age of her when Kutcher got married, it ruins the joke. And it’s really gross…let’s move on! Hey, here’s Jeff Locke and he sucks! Really, normally I wouldn’t care that a bad pitcher was facing the Braves, but Matt Kemp has been low-key throwing up crazy big numbers of late. Kemp has been making his normal second half surge and actually started a bit early in June. Overall, since that June start, has hit near .300 and has hit .315 overall in the second half to go with seven HRs. Of course, this isn’t just about Matt Kemp but yes, if you wanna get loco with me ese, I think we have some good times ahead if we roll with Atlanta bats. The Braves have actually *looks both ways cautiously* average on offense in the second half. Factor in they have a typical second half bat in Kemp and you’re looking at a one time at band camp girl kind of lineup. Yeah, don’t click that at work if you don’t have headphones on. Fair warning! All that said, I think going all in is appropriate. Gimme some Adonis Garcia, Freddie Freeman, Nick Markakis, the aforementioned Kemp, and Gordon Beckham even if you’re really digging this call. On a day where Coors is on everyone’s mind, sneaking in a way under the radar play gets even sexier. So go against the grain and go #Barves. But you maybe don’t like these ideas so let me give you a few more. Or maybe you don’t like my outdated dance references. For those people, go dab…HA! You’re so 2015! Now on with the show. Here’s my Do the Bernie hot taeks for this Wednesday DK slate…
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Cole Hamels, SP: $11,100 – It’s not the perfect park, but the Orioles have slumped offensively in the 2nd half and have been a bottom five offense in wRC+ against LHP this year. If Hamels is on, I fully expect a gem. I’m in for both cash and GPP. If you’re wondering about Cueto…eh, cash only, especially against a known poor team. Chris Sale? I like, just don’t love, especially with some of those Tigers RHB heating up.
Steven Matz, SP: $8,800 – Your Yanks are just a hair below the Orioles in wRC+ and thus deserve a notice that Matz is in fact a good play in all formats. That was a lot of unintentional rhyme that was very jumbled up in white man rhythm. I’ll try harder next time.
Collin McHugh, SP: $7,100 – So I called him on a day where he had nothing. Yeah, that sucked…but back on the saddle! Collin is strictly a GPP call for me but there’s some K upside here and for that reason, I take him as a GPP nod over those who will be in on Edinson Volquez at a similar range in price.
Tyler Anderson, SP: $5,200 – Clearly a GPP only call here, but it’s hard not to notice that Anderson has pitched well overall and that includes in Coors. The Dodgers? More like BLAHgers, amirite?!? Yeah, I’m sorry for that. The point is, Tyler Anderson may not be a cool name but the GPP call could be.
Gary Sanchez, C: $2,600 – Auto play cheap catcher. The fact that he’s talented and just got called up makes it even better.
Mitch Moreland, 1B: $4,400 – With a recent streak that landed him player of the week honors last week, it’s a simple choice here for cash games with Camden yards calling out to him in right.
Brandon Moss, 1B/OF: $4,300 – If you’re not paying up to get in on a BOS stack with David Ortiz – and yes this is a thing and yes it’s a thing I’m ok with if you can afford it – an STL stack would be just dandy. Moss is a bit of a contrarian play but it’s unlikely he sits and you can really go heavy with some reasonably priced STL bats today. Gimme Jedd Gyorko, Stephen Piscotty, Tommy Pham, and Jhonny Peralta if you wanna play 52 Cards pickup.
Brandon Belt, 1B: $3,700 – He’s due. I don’t care if that’s narrative and poor analysis. He’s #$@%ing due! Aaron Nola is a confusing cat given his xFIP is a near full 1.75 runs under his actual ERA. That said, Citizen’s Bank park and lefty bats go together like your dominant hand and some moisturizer. Um, I’m talking about applying said moisturizer to your drier parts. People have exzema, ya know. You’re dirty!
Neil Walker, 2B: $3,600 – Still slowly heating up over his last ten. Chad Green has been chatted up a bit of late, but I’m on Mets today. Gimme some Curtis Granderson, Michael Conforto, and Jay Bruce for some short porch goodness.
Steve Pearce, 1B/2B: $3,400 – If you don’t like my Hamels call or if you’re looking for a one off from the Orioles, Pearce and his 227 wRC+ against lefties on the year. You don’t see him in the top end on your fangraphs chart? Well drop your min qualified, yo! These are the secrets of the sauce.
Kyle Seager, 3B: $3,900 – Put me down as part of the confused masses as to how Rick Porcello is actually performing better against lefties than he is against righties on the year, but the other part of me is saying this won’t last. Here’s me leaning towards the latter.
Todd Frazier, 3B: $3,800 – Yeah, yeah, he hasn’t hit for average at all this year. All he’s done is hit 30 bombs…HO HUM. Maybe the blast light night gets him going and he gets on a little streak and we get to go streaking with him. Hopefully not alone…
JJ Hardy, SS: $2,600 – Absolutely not saying that my Hamels call is bad but again, if you wanna one off or even two off because Hardy is so cheap, jump in. In all, you’re looking for a cheap bomb. Expecting more makes you a silly doody head, professionally speaking.
Nomar Mazara, OF: $4,000 – He’s been about as quiet as Renee Zellweger was prior to Bridget Jone’s Baby which I’m sure will be a smash hit. The last part was sarcasm, the first part was simile, and Mazara is bae. Lock this one up.
Lorenzo Cain, OF: $3,400 – Am I the only one who thinks of System of a Down when Grey says ‘Cain…SUGAR!’? No? Just me? Whatevs, Lorenzo is too cheap and an easy play.
I’m Only Happy When It Rains
On the whole, it looks to be a relatively safe night out there, save for COLvsLAD but even that looks like a storm that won’t do any PPD damage. Just make sure to stay woke on the subject for today and check before lock.
Doing Lines In Vegas
The heavy lines are in the early slate with Max Scherzer (-240) leading the way in the ARZvsWAS tilt, followed by John Lackey (-190) set to go in CHCvsMIA. For the late slate, we have Trevor Bauer and company at -180 in the CLEvsMIN game, but the Twins somehow have a winning record vs the Indians this year and have absolutely slaughtered them in back to back games. If I’m doing anything major with this game, I’m stacking bats on both sides. It should come as no shocker – but if she does with a shocker, she’s a keeper – but COLvsLAD leads the scoring fray at 11 followed by the aforementioned Cleveland along with CINvsSTL at 9. Meanwhile, Vegas might be trying to tell us something as they gave half bump runs to the DETvsCHW game (up to 8) and LAAvsOAK (up to 9). If you’re looking for the opposite affect, TBvsKC has moved down a half run to 7 which might lend a little credence to both Edinson Volquez and Jake Odorizzi for cash.
