This past weekend was full of knockout entertainment. There was some great baseball, NBA and Stanley Cup playoff action, a crying competition between NFL draftees and Mother’s everywhere and a UFC main event that actually exceeded expectations. I don’t condone fighting. In fact, I encourage it when it’s done legally and televised. If you feel the same make sure you see the Matt Brown v. Erick Silva battle that rightfully went viral this weekend. It’s on Fox Sports 1 or 2 or 47 on replay, whichever you have. It’s probably available on a website or two as well.
If you managed to watch 74 hours of sports television this weekend you had an impossible (man’s game) winning streak. And you should keep the streak going. So, on this very mundane Tuesday, you should spice it up with some money-grabbing Draftkings action. And when you do the Draftkings (what Mom calls it) kick some ass. Today’s formula is brought to you by cheap pitchers (aka Natural Light) and Cabrera MMA (Melky, Migs, Asdrubal). There’s nothing better than a spicy sausage with cheap beer so make sure you click this hot link so you can get your first Draftkings contest for free.
Ryan Vogelsong, P: $7,300 – After a year of looking like he did for the majority of his career, Vogelsong has started to resemble his post Japan-self the last three outings. I scrutinized his start vs. the Doyers last week and he had velocity (91-94 mph) and movement both ways with his fastball. He’s commanding his secondary stuff right now and the Braves have been known to strike out in BP. I suppose I should explicitly say that they do the same once the game begins as well.
Matt Harrison, P: $7,500 – Harrison has had great command of his off speed stuff so far this year and that’s the name of his game… if great command is a euphemism for baseball. Save money and win money. Now there’s a midnight infomercial! With all the money you save on these arms you can buy some primo swingers. Wink, wink.
Start the A’s Catcher. It doesn’t matter if it’s Derek Norris $3,600 or John Jaso $3,700 as long as you confirm they’re starting. They’re both hot and in your price range regardless of your other spending habits. The A’s have absolutely mastered the art of matchups. It’s hot in Oakland for a change and there’s a breezy heading in the tarp’s direction.
Victor Martinez, 1B: $4,700 – He likes Ubaldo and he’s a hottie. OMG you totes gotta get him in your lineup, FTW!
Miguel Cabrera, 3B: $5,800 – He’s got good numbers vs. Ubaldo Jimenez and Ugotdough to Spendez. And I got jokes!
Asdrubal Cabrera, SS: $4,100 – Yes, his first name sounds like a side effect of severe ground and pound or a testosterone replacement therapy. How can you not say yes to that? When Asdrubal is faced with the Ra-Dickey he gets excited, 3-6 with 2 HRs. You don’t have to tell anyone that, today, you have Asdrubal.
Michael Morse, OF: $3,800 – Morse has burned me once already this year due to his inability to stay in the game because apparently statues don’t make for good late inning OFs. He’s been getting the hook around the 7th inning this year for a defensive replacement. However, Brandon Belt’s injury opens up a nice little spot for him to stand in one place and be helpful, which means his bat should get a full day’s use playing 1B.
Melky Cabrera, SS: $4,700 – Cabrera has his Melky way with Masterson. 15-27 lifetime vs. the Indians’ ace.
Curtis Granderson, SS: $3,900 – He does face a lefty and this may not be the day to use him since the wind is also blowing in a little. But he sure does love to hit to that short porch at New Yankee Stadium: The House That Middling LHB’s Built.
P.S. If you don’t trust me, you aren’t the only one—my wife wears a chastity belt and my dog walks himself—there’s always Rudy’s super techie DFSBot. Everyone loves technologies and the robot’s are usually correcto. In fact, even if you’re the type to take candy from strangers, you need to check with the DFSBot first because it knows if the candy is safe to eat.
I’m Only Happy When It Rains
DET @ BAL has a pretty good chance of rain but it does subside as the night wears on so there’s a decent chance they get the game in. If you’re scared I like Jose Abreu, David Ortiz, Mark Teixeira (if his crotch is ready to go), Pedro Alvarez and Mark Reynolds as replacements for the Tigers above.
SD @ CIN It looks pretty gloomy in the Natti. Definitely avoid paying for one of these pitchers. I’d probably avoid all the bats too.
LAA @ PHI may also get rained out.
Doing Lines in Vegas
DET (-102) They light up Ubaldo and the O’s have scored the fewest runs in the league against LHPs (Smyly). They might not get to play the game, but that won’t cost you money.
COL (+150) Colorado is seriously hot. Yeah James Shields is much better than Franklin Morales, but the Royals tend to not give Shields run support and they suck at hitting LHPs. Getting these odds is a good bet.
