Lately, I’ve been thinking about what a creeper of the week really is, and how best to put it out there for you readers. I’m the pimp, uh, I mean dating service, and you are the receiver of a good time… for about a week. You might say a “batty call with benefits broker”. Since the majority of us are men, except Prezzi, who looks like he struggled with sophmore English last year and is waiting on puberty to complete. (Writers note: I would rather look young to slay more cougars than what I do now.) It’s safe to assume that for most of you (except the four girl readers), I’m setting up man dates every week. Which brings me to this week’s hot date– David Murphy. Hi David, I see you’re only 12.2% owned, so I know you’re available. Would you like to hop in my car and go for a little drive… for a week! This officially got weird, so you can call me Creeper McCreeperstein from now on.
Before I move onto the Yada Yada Yada portion of the show, I would like to share the man date I had with our great mustachio lothario, Mr. Grey “check out the dong on that Chihuahua” Albright. We opened the afternoon trip with sandwiches at this amazing wine and cheese store that kept it simple and delicious! He had the fresh mozarella and basil and I had the soppressota with Spanish manchego on the best baguette I’ve had since this little village I visited outside of Paris. After what felt like a lifetime of talking about fantasy baseball and the ginormous dong on the chihuahua behind us, we decided to take a stroll to start working off all those carbs. Feeling a need for a pick me up, Grey took me over to this quaint little coffee shop where I got a sugar-free vanilla iced latte and he went way off the reservation with an ice-blended mocha green tea latte. Double Delicious! As we knew it was time to start wrapping it up and in need of a little shopping to cap off a great afternoon, we went up to the local beauty supply store. Grey proceeded to pick up some extra fancy hair gel to get that just perfect look for his regular TV on the radio segments. If you watch those you know how amazing that hair is. I, on the other hand, got cornered by the Lebanese owners of the establishment and after a good five minutes of loving on my beard and a bold flirtation from the lady, I was shown the selection of beard products. Now let me tell you, that beard balm was the bomb and suggest it to anyone out there. Hey, this is way too long and has nothing do with baseball but I can’t help but to share one of the best days ever! Next time we’re going shoe shopping.
This week, Cleveland’s Mr. Lefty David Murphy gets 7 games and seven right-handers. This is good for a guy whose ability to be in the line-up is dependent on what type of arm is throwing that day. He gets relevant for about eight weeks every year and is due for another bout of schmotatoness. He can be a good source of RBI’s and a home run or two when on a roll, and is even liked by the Hitter-Tron this week. H to the T the sex fiend has him as a $11.1 dollar play, just a dollar behind fantasy borathon 100% owned Daniel Murphy. You Murphy fans can get your Murphy shirts here. Strangely this same site sells t-shirts supporting Matt Harvey to return this year. Don’t they know that is not good for anyone who wants him to succeed. Sorry, back to David Murphy. He opens with a two-and-two series with in-state “not a rival but rivals now” Reds. Then he gets lefty friendly Yankee Stadium, or as Grey calls it, the house across the street from the house that Ruth built. Call me weird, but I like to watch a team after they have rid themselves of dead weight (that’s Asdrubal if you missed he got traded to the Nats). I’m hoping it catches on with the Indians and I’m gambling on that. I also would feel bad if Gareth did something crazy like running out into traffic because the Indians got even harder to watch. Meouch!
Bonus Creeper
Two of last week’s bonus creepers did well. Mark Reynolds (2 HR’s) and Josh Willingham (3/1/3/1/.316) helped a few of you out and that’s what I’m here for. Josh Willingham (10.2%) is still way under owned at 10.2% and is again a bonus creeper. If you need help with this then please leave your login and password in the comments and I’ll take care of it for you. Jordy Mercer (14.3%) has been chipping in with a little hot streak of late and is a nice fill in for a middle infield slot if you’re hurting. If you lost Goldy to the DL then Jon Singleton (8.4%) is a viable fill in that will kill your batting average but not hurt your home run numbers. I will see you all tomorrow when I am covering for Sky as he kicks off the 32in32in32 tour with Nick, Tehol and the Guru.
