Bullpen Report

Winning is defined differently through the annuls of our time.  I mean Chuck Sheen uses it because winning is banging a gaggle of porn stars. Winning in fantasy baseball is fake, but it really isn’t.  It’s getting with the trends and knowing when to throw out your IOU sweatshirts because Champion ones are cool now.  Winning NSVH and straight holds leagues is no different.  Follow winning trends.  Look at the schedule, who plays Miami or Houston.  What bullpens have been cold blooded, or just be lazy and ask me.  I have useless amounts of brain… wait check that.  I have a dwindling amount of brain cells at your disposal. So go with the trends of who is garnering holds, and don’t be afraid to add/drop a ton, they are only RP, a new one comes up every other week that gets 3-4 holds in a week then fades into the blue like the end of “Shane”.  So enjoy the week to come and good luck.

Trevor Rosenthal – When you walk past a lingerie store he is the image you expect to be wearing that lacy goodness.  Great K numbers, stunning ratios, an acumen for fine ports and tasty cheeses.  Well, the reason I am mentioning all this is because no one recognizes the nerdy hot chicks in the background. Kevin Siegrist, Seth Maness,  and, to a lesser degree, Randy Choate and Sam Freeman are straight BMF styling right now. They are so good in fact that, minus Rosey, they are unscored upon in their last 24 innings pitched over the last 14 games.  Combining for 8 holds, as compared to Rosenthal’s big fat Greek 0.

Ronald Belisario – LA is, as my grandma would say, “cooking on all jets”.  She is a lovely lady with a firm grasp on messing up cliches.  Ronald is the under-noticed member of the Dodger BP, as he was there when the League thing went down and Kenley jumped in.  Over the last 30 games he has 8 holds — only Tyler Clippard has more with 9 — and has been in a flip flop scenario with Paco Rodriguez.  Which, for a team that wins a lot, is muy bueno. Funny but true story, his name translates to buy Sario, so if you needed more gusto to add him the language says it all.

Brian Duensing – I wish he factored into the hold situation more, but he is a fantastic vulture that has a lot of sneaky value for this late in the year.  All because he has dual eligibility.  Guys like this are a fantasy cog, that makes Spacely Sprockets jealous.  Games started start to dwindle, so why not just load up on a wake of vultures.  Dunce has won 4 games over his last 30, and has a ridiculous K/BB rate of 17.  Yeah, for the end of the year grab-and-go special, invest in RP with some SP love.