My oldest child has always been a cautious, cynical kid. When he was starting to travel to the light after nine months of darkness, he probably grabbed onto the walls, opened his eyes, and tried to peer out before coming out. When we’d go to the playground, I never had to worry about him because he’d always assess the risk/reward of any endeavor before progressing. When someone he didn’t know would approach him, he’d always give them the stink eye, look them up and down, and try to figure out if friend or foe. My daughter, on the other hand, is a free spirit, wild child. She hops and skips around with no regard for anything. If a guy with a windowless van approached her and offered a lollipop, she’d hop right in. So, stranger danger is something that the wife and I have had to sear into her brain from day one. In fantasy baseball, stranger danger is applicable as well but the appeal of the unknown upside always sings to us. Hook, line, and sinker. Ranger Suarez gave us plenty of lollipops last season but we are beginning to realize that the van has no windows. Let’s dig in to see what is reality.
Please, blog, may I have some more?
It is often said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result. At the same time, repetition is the key to anything, as it helps “transition a skill from the conscious to the subconscious.” Malcolm Gladwell and his 10,000 hours would agree. That said, walking to the garage, grabbing the hammer, then swinging it repeatedly towards one’s genitalia will bring pain. Every. Single. Time. Without fail. Trust me on this. But for some reason, we humans are an interesting species because we often get transfixed on the “This time is different” mantra. Man, life is too complicated. Anyways, for fantasy baseball, the huge sample size of stats allows us to ascertain a good lay of the landscape but there are always ebbs and flows, hot and cold streaks. In addition, one small tweak could alter the entire landscape. Martin Perez has had a FIP of at least 4.5 in each of the last six seasons but, in 2022, that number is at 2.44. He’s the 26th-best pitcher on the Razzball Player Rater to date. He’s been added in 34.1% of ESPN leagues over the past week and is coming off a complete-game shutout of the Houston Astros. I’ve been on this ride before and it’s rarely been pleasant, but I felt compelled to dig in further. Will I be falling for the Martin Perez in the tailpipe again?
Please, blog, may I have some more?Now that’s a jingle that gets you pumped to buy replacement parts for your car! A similar jingle was likely reverberating through the craniums of many drafters in the offseason when the button was clicked for Tyler O’Neill. And why not? He smashed 34 home runs and stole 15 bases last season in 537 plate […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?The Full Nelson. One of the simplest yet most effective wrestling moves in existence. It was a move mastered by kids even before the optical nerves were blessed with the role of messaging the awesomeness of WWE to the brain. Go to hug someone from behind but, instead of sensually massaging the nipples, move the hands up to the neck then interlock the fingers. That person now looks like a pelican with a shark biting its legs. Nelson Cruz has been one of the simplest yet most effective hitters in MLB. See ball, hit ball. Far, very far. From 2014 to 2019, he hit at least 40 home runs in four of those seasons. In the two that he failed to hit the mark, he went for 39 and 37. Now at age 41, he’s struggling to start the 2022 season, posting a .157/.250/.245 slash with a .088 ISO. As a result, he was dropped in 7.2% of ESPN leagues. We know that Father Time is undefeated, so is this when we cue up the Boyz II Men?
Please, blog, may I have some more?
One Man’s Trash: Hoop-Deville Franmil
May 5, 2022 | 2022 Fantasy Baseball, One Man's Trash | 23 Commentsby: Son
It was Wednesday. The sun had risen many hours prior and Son needed inspiration for his latest Razzball piece. The stomach growled. The mouth began to water. The nose began to inhale what the mind was dreaming of. Chicken and waffles from Roscoe’s then. As I eschewed the traffic-infested freeway of LA….Random thought: Don’t people […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? One Man’s Trash: Ditch Mitch?
April 28, 2022 | 2022 Fantasy Baseball, One Man's Trash | 6 Commentsby: Son
When I wake up, I mutter MAGNOF, Mornings Ain’t Got No Face. As my stomach begins to growl, BAGNOF, Breakfast Ain’t Got No Face. Turning on the computer then clicking on WordPress, WAGNOF, Writing Ain’t Got No Face. Lunchtime! You know what that means? LAGNOF. I am a Razzball disciple through and through, for better […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?I worked on a prop trading desk for many years. The amount of churn and burn of traders that I saw was unreal. It got to the point that I wouldn’t even bother getting to know the names of the new guys because they would more than likely be gone in a month or so. […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? One Man’s Trash: What Is Wong With Kolten?
April 14, 2022 | 2022 Fantasy Baseball | 6 Commentsby: Son
Anytime I can write and talk about a fellow Asian baseball player in MLB, the two miniscule hairs on my arms perk up. So, Steven Kwan it was supposed to be, but he’s the toast of the town and there will be thousands of articles written about him. He is Grey’s new Asian boy toy. Did you know that Grey has an Asian fetish? There’s Jay, me, and BDon. So, as much as I wanted to espouse about the Kwan, that is not my role at Razzball. As Jesus took in the lepers and poor, I dumpster dive into the trash and write up the stinky, shitty, and scraps in the fantasy baseball streets. This is why I get paid the big bucks. Kolten Wong is on a number of my teams. Was he ever going to be a league winner? Niet but double-digit home runs and steals were expected with decent plate discipline numbers. So far in 2022, he’s been awful, going 3-for-21 with five strikeouts. As a result, he’s been dropped by 8.4% of teams in ESPN leagues. So, this begs the question? What has been so Wong with Kolten?
Please, blog, may I have some more?Nicky Lopez of the Kansas City Royals is the antithesis of Ricky Henderson, the tsaeb of fantasy baseball. Lopez won’t hit for power and….Well, he won’t do much of anything except get some steals. Will they be a “manna falling down from heaven” amount of steals? Niet, but steals are a commodity and many fall behind in the early part of the draft, forcing them to pay up later. You won’t have to pay up for Lopez, as he’s being drafted on average with the 269th overall pick in NFBC drafts from 3/2022 to 4/6/2022. Here’s why I think he can be useful:
Please, blog, may I have some more? I’d Like a Yastrzemski on Rye, Please
March 31, 2022 | 2022 Fantasy Baseball, One Man's Trash | 9 Commentsby: Son
I’m a fatty, which therefore means that I’m hungry all the time. In my younger days, my metabolism and constant activity allowed me to maintain a svelte, Bruce Lee-esque physique. Nowadays, cranking out posts for Razzball in my mom’s basement has meant that the scale flashes CAN NOT COMPUTE when I step on it. I’ve started to excercise more and am trying to diet but I am still but a human. As I was scrolling through the NFBC ADP, I came across Mike Yastrzemski and became intrigued, and it’s not just because his name made me think of deli meat. Well, it is close to lunch time so that may have had something to do with it. Anyways, digging into Yastrzemski was akin to going to Katz’s Deli, ordering a sandwich, then realizing that the cashier gave me a discount.
Please, blog, may I have some more? One Man’s Trash: Finding Nimmo
March 24, 2022 | 2022 Fantasy Baseball, One Man's Trash | 4 Commentsby: Son
As I was popping Bon Bons into my mouth while watching a Korean drama, I was so startled by the plot twist in said Korean drama that a few of my precious Bon Bons dropped, then slithered into the crevices of the couch. Without even bothering to press pause on the remote, I ceased all […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? One Man’s Trash: Yo Joe!
March 17, 2022 | 2022 Fantasy Baseball, One Man's Trash | 12 Commentsby: Son
He’ll battle pitchers whenever the team’s in trouble
Connor Joe is there!
[A real OMT hero]
Connor Joe is there!
It’s Connor Joe against all the naysayers, fighting to play everyday!
He never gives up, he’s always there
Fighting for at-bats on the road and in the mile-high air
Connor Joe is there!
[A real OMT hero]
Connor Joe is there!
Connor Joe is the name of a man on a mission
Highly trained, overcoming testicular cancer!
His purpose, to play ruin the plans of Bud Black, a naive manager who rosterblocks all the prime candidates away
He never gives up, he’ll stay ’till the games won
Connor Joe will dare!
Connor Joes is there!
[A real OMT hero]
Connor Joe is there!
Please, blog, may I have some more?