Welcome to another season of the Razzball Commenter Leagues! After typing that, I now know why we abbreviate that shiitake mushroom into R-C-L. I’m out of breath and burned 89 calories just from typing that out, and that doesn’t even include trying to figure why I always used to spell it ‘commentator’. Apparently, I added more vowels than I needed. First world writer problems. Anyhow, let’s get to your first question. No, I’m not J-FOH. He’ll be around during the season doing different things to different people. It’ll be legal. I think. And no, I’m not even VinWins, who has been known to chime in from time to time and provide us with a whole bunch of numbers because math is hard. Heck, I’m not even VinLoses, who, interesting story, is actually the cousin of Vin’s mother’s brother’s second cousin’s friend of a friend. TOO INTERESTING. And heck, just to add one more into the mix, I’m not even Matt Truss, who’ll be taking the RCL reins after you and I have had our time together. And what a time it’ll be! (This may not be 100% accurate.) Regardless, I’m Jay, and I’m here to help launch the most important fantasy story out there this season, and that is the story of YOUR 2016 Razzball Commenter League…
Why hello there. I’m not sure why I’m greeting you now, and why I’m doing it like you’re standing in front of me, but take from it what you will. With lot’s of bacon, hopefully. As the title stated, all of us at Razzball want you to be a commissioner. Why? Because the title is just so darn awesome. That’s why I’ve created three leagues so far, and will create another every time one fills up until I reach my max amount of ten. Because I just don’t want to be Commissioner Longfellow. Na-unh. I want to be Commissioner, deep breath… Commissioner, Commissioner, Commissioner, Commissioner, Commissioner, exhale/inhale, (because I’m not that good at holding my breath), annnnd… Commissioner. Wait, how many are we up to? Seven? Commissioner, Commissioner, Commissioner Longfellow. Or, ya know, Commissioner Longfellow x10, if you’re into the whole brevity thing.
Now, you don’t have to be awesome x10 like me. You can just be level one awesome by becoming a commish. OR you can be level two awesome by commish’ing two leagues. Now, you may be asking, why should I do such a thing?
This year we are giving away an autographed baseball of the player who is Rudy’s avatar. That’s right, an autographed baseball of… Well, you have to win to find out who the player is. Next, we’re giving an autographed baseball of the one, the only Oscar Gamble! That’s right, Rudy’s 3rd cousin, once-removed, Oscar motheffin’ Gamble! Finally, the winner will receive a $250 Best Buy Gift card, which can buy just about anything (under $250).
So that’s why. CASE CLOSED. The more you play, the better chance you have to win all of those thing-a-ma-jigs. Not only that, but you have a greater chance to draft Chase Headley on your team(s). Oh, wait a second, that’s my reason. SHHHHHH. So what are you waiting for? Keep scrolling down and sign up to be a commissioner! If you already are one, seriously bro (or sis), have another go at it. Or be a pioneer and go for three. Be crazy!
Need to know how? Here are the instructions… IN VIDEO FORM!
Want to read about it? Here are the instructions… (in Grey’s own words!)
TO JOIN A LEAGUE
Click the LINK in the ‘League Link’ column (see below grid) and enter the PASSWORD at ESPN. Emails are there for some leagues, but you shouldn’t need to email anyone. You can join as many leagues as you like.
TO START A LEAGUE
Please create a league in ESPN based on the league rules reference above. Step by step: Hit Create. Then Create ESPN Custom (middle option), Name League, Change to 12 Teams, Restriction Type: None, Open to All Users, Access: change to Private, create Password, leave as Roto and Snake, Make Draft Date and Time, Create. From Default settings all you have to do is change to TWO DL SLOTS and 180 Starts by pitchers. So, you go to ROSTERS and Click “Edit Roster Settings.” There, change to 2 DL Slots and 180 Starts (the counter will change to 20.0 per slot). Then SUBMIT Roster Settings. Finally, Create Your League! (Important Note: Make sure league is viewable to public but requiring a password to avoid non-Razzballers joining.) When that’s finished, click here. You will be permissioned shortly so you can add your league info to the Google Doc (the below grid cannot be edited from this page). On that Google Doc, you will need to enter your name, league link, password and please UPDATE the number of openings as your league fills up. That’s it. Oh, and don’t use your bank account password. (Here’s a video Jay made to help some noobs. Is noobs spelled with zeroes or oh’s? Hmm, that might make me a noob at spelling noob.) You can start as many leagues as you like. If you start less than ten leagues, again someone could mock you.
Want more of the Jay? Don’t we all folks? Don’t. We. All. Well, you, in fact, can have more. AMAZING. I know. You can find Jay enjoying his digs over at the Football side of Razz.
