First, I must tip my yacht cap to Josh, the Non-blogger, who gave me the inspiration for this post. (At least I think it was Josh, but I’m not sure because the team name was changed recently. Why do people change their name after a month of the season? This makes things very confusing for standings and trades and… Wait, this was supposed to be a tip of the hat.) So Josh (I think) posted a thread to the messageboard in our Razzball league, “You know you’re doing a pretty good job when.” Well, I Razz’d it up a little and tried to turn it into something more people would want to read than just the suckers in our league. Feel free to add some of your own in the comments (I know you will anyway, cause Razzball has the best commenters. Take that, other fantasy sites.) So without further ado, you know your team sucks when:
–Your number one starter is Sidney Ponson.
–You’ve already traded Johan Santana for Cameron Maybin because of his keeper value.
–Your team doesn’t reach the minimum innings pitched per week of 1.
–You list your available players as “Bronson Arroyo” and immediately wonder if you can afford to lose him.
–You post your needs as Avg/Runs/Steals/Home Runs/RBIs/Wins/ERA/WHIPS/Ks/Saves.
–You say everyone on your team is available for trade even Cristian Guzman.
–Someone asks you to throw another player into a trade and you offer Scott Hatteberg.
–You keep telling yourself your home runs aren’t in bad shape because Juan Pierre can chip in one or two.
–You offer Todd Jones in a trade and you’re legitimately worried that if you lose him, your Ks might take a hit.
–You read box scores and cry.
–You tell anyone in your league that will listen, “Oh, yeah, I have lots of other teams. I don’t care about this one at all.”
–You have Gallardo, Pedro and Rich Hill and you’re counting out every five days and starting them as if nothing is wrong.
–You turn your computer monitor upside down so your team’s in first.