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Al Reyes finally got his shot to close games last year after 11 years of middle relief. His 4.90 ERA is proof he wasn’t the best closer in the league but he got 26 saves and wasn’t as bad as Todd Jones or Joe Borowski.

Al Reyes face shot

But the Rays decided that the 37-year old Reyes wasn’t the future of this team on the rise and instead went with the 38-year old Troy Percival who had formally retired in 2006 and informally retired in 2005 with the Tigers back when they were collecting washed up closers like Ugueth Urbina and, um, Todd Jones.

So it appears that on the day he turned as old as Percival, Al Reyes had a little too much to drink and had to be Tased (capitalized b/c it’s a trademark!) from sprinkling a Florida bar with his hot-tempered Latin blood.

You can take the Devil out of the Devil Rays but you can’t take it out of Al Reyes’ soul….

Razzball puts all the blame on Troy Percival. This isn’t the first time his herky-jerky motion has unnerved a teammate. How can we forget when he deposed Lee Smith in 1995 as the Angels closer? Lee Smith got so drunk in spring training 1996 that he took a girl home and made love to her on what he thought was a bearskin rug but was really Jeff Reardon’s beard.

jeff reardon

(Thanks to Rotoworld for the scoop and for your admirable constraint in retelling the story. Made it easier not to retread on any jokes)

  1. Cory says:
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    I’ve been to Hyde Park. Its one of those clubs where every girl has fake tits and every guy has a tight t-shirt with skulls on it or something metro/homo. The worst part is, they will actually make you stand on a line outside for no reason just to get in. Like, if you don’t have enough girls with you. They ACTUALLY have you stand outside and wait like idiots to get into their club. There will be guys just standing there, waiting, without any idea why or how long its gonna take. I was dragged there, kicking and screaming, by my gf, and I will never ever go back there. I really thought that only happened on tv.

    Anyway, I think you should discuss how Karabell today says Soto belongs ahead of Mauer in the pecking order. If you read the comments, mine is the one blasting him.

  2. Grey

    Grey says:
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    Wow, what a turd baby that Karabaloney wrote today. He takes the cake, then rubs it on his nose because he’s a moron.

  3. Grey

    Grey says:
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    BTW, I love how you tried to reason with him with stats. Karabell (ESPN, for that matter) doesn’t deal in stats.

  4. Grey finally found a fellow Karabell hater. Isn’t that cute…

    I’ve got Posada in two leagues and I wouldn’t trade him for Soto. Per Cory’s point, you need to look at all categories and I think Mauer’s lineup slot and Posada’s team put them in better position for 80 R and 80 RBI. With maybe 10 SB, Mauer should make up the HR difference in value.

    I rank them Posada, Mauer, Soto…

  5. bob says:
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    That Lee Smith image is so horrible I may never be able to get that ut of my mind. Thanks.

  6. Grey

    Grey says:
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    Lee Smith is black (or African-American for the PC folks out there). That dude up there closed games and robbed jewelry stores for a living.

  7. I think Bob the mental image of Lee Smith making sweet love to a lady on Jeff Reardon’s face might have been the one he found objectionable.

    If baseball closers = Diff’t Strokes cast members, it would be…

    Lee Smith = Todd Bridges
    Jeff Reardon = Dana Plato
    John Franco = Gary Coleman
    Rollie Fingers = Mr. Drummond
    Rob Dibble = The Gooch
    Lee Smith’s Sweet Love Partner = Janet Jackson (Willis’ girlfriend Charlene).

    So based on those analogies, its Todd Bridges making love to Janet Jackson on Dana Plato’s face. That’s almost as hot as the pre-analogy version…

  8. Grey

    Grey says:
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    re: mental image — oh, I found that image sexy.

    re: cast — John Franco is Mrs Garrett and Jose Mesa is Gary Coleman. Puh-lease.

  9. I went with the smallest closer I could find for Arnold Jackson.

    Can’t you see John Franco looking up at Rob Dibble and saying “Whatchoo talkin’ about, Dibble?”

    Mrs. Garrett is a tough one to cast. Maybe Trevor Hoffman b/c everyone likes him.

    I don’t know the right show for Jose Mesa but he deserves his own one. Maybe he’s Rosco P. Coltrane and Omar Vizquel and Robbie Alomar are the Dukes?

  10. Grey

    Grey says:
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    Yeah, I was thinking about small, but instead went with fat. Mesa’s probably better on a drama. Team him with Dennis Farina and you have a top ten show.

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