Fantasy Baseball Advice

September 1st may mean autumn is around the corner for meteorologists, but you’re not Sam Champion, are you?  No, of course you’re not.  He’s handsome.  For us in the fantasy baseball trenches, September 1st means rosters expand and rookies are called up.  Unlike the September hitter call ups we went over yesterday, I’d use kid gloves with these call ups.  As Paula Dean might say, pitchers can hurt you, ya’ll.  If you need to take a flier on a rookie pitcher, tread carefully, young Razzball reader.  Anyway, here’s some potential September call ups to keep your eye on for fantasy baseball, the pitchers:

Aaron Poreda – I’m crazy for HodgePadres, what can I say?  Actually, I just said it.  But even I’d be careful with Poreda.  In NL-Only leagues, yes, please.  Elsewhere, maybe home matchups.

Madison Bumgarner – Scouting the Unknown broke down, Madison Bumgarner.  Bumgarner will be one of those adds that everyone does and just about everyone regrets (this year).  Though I am prepping a giggle for when Bumgarner attacks Pujols with his number 2.

Tim Hudson – I heard this kid’s got good stuff.  Hope his call up goes smoothly, he might have a nice career ahead of him. /sarcasm

David Purcey – Blech.

Carlos Carrasco – I was bonkers for him in the preseason.  That’s the drawback to working without a net in December.  Carrasco’s hype I extolled was obviously a year too early.  Don’t worry, I’m go crazy for him again this offseason.  You’ve been caveated.

Hector Rondon – Is Wedge trying to get fired?  Are the Indians trying to lose?  Heffin’ hey in the screw hole, bring up Rondon and see what he can do.  Cause right now he do what he do and he do it in Triple A.  Over a 9 K/9 and under a 2 BB/9, which comes out to 42 Ks to 7 walks.

Wade Davis – For a while he looked better than David Price, then for a while he stopped striking out hitters.  And both “whiles” came in the minors, so there will be some growing pains, Kirk Cameron.

Dana Eveland – Had a long look last year and pitched well enough for AL-Only leagues.  Might have some matchup value in September.

Brandon Morrow – Not a rookie, but I think he can make a nice fantasy impact in September.  Worth grabbing in all leagues.

Todd Wellemeyer – He wasn’t that great when he was already in the majors.

Daniel McCutchen – What’s the chances the Pirates have another fantasy-worthwhile McCutchen?  Okay, combine those odds with the chances the Pirates have a worthwhile pitcher.

It’s analogy time.  Stolen bases = candy.  Chris ‘Tall’ Young = baby.  Dexter Fowler‘s 5 SBs are thus like taking candy from a baby (or, as Steve Rogers would sing, like takin’ can-dee from a bay-bee).  It’s hard not to love Dexter Fowler right now.  He’s everything we hoped Cameron Maybin would be.  He’s now to the point where he’s must own in 10 and 12 team leagues especially when facing the man we shall now call Cristal (Chris Tall) Young (as opposed to his doppelganger Krispie Young).  But he’s still a rookie OF straight from AA (insert trite Josh Hamilton joke).  His .335 / 9 HR / 20 SB line in 400 ABs at AA does not equate to much more than a 5th OF when equivalized for MLB.  But neither did Hanley Ramirez’s.  And you never know in Colorado.  So if he’s available in your league, you’d be more of a Dexter if you didn’t take a chance on him.  If he’s already snapped up, look to trade that bottom starter, reliever, or OF you’ve got.  Anyway, here’s what else we saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Brad Hawpe – Left on a stretcher after Hundley hit him in the neck with a pickoff throw.  Sounds like someone had some misplaced aggression about Fowler.  Hopefully Hawpe’s okay… Because I have him on a team!  No, I’m kidding.  I don’t own him.

Chris Young – 3 IP, 8 ER.  Starting a flyball pitcher in Coors is a risky propostion as it is, then throw in he’s clocked at about 17 seconds to home.

Hanley Ramirez – Hit by a Maine pitch in yesterday’s game, sending fantasy baseball owners to the ground screaming, “Why don’t you hit Maybin?!”  The x-rays came back negative, which is oddly positive — why they don’t just say it’s positive is a modern mystery for The Jonas Brothers to solve in a bad Disney Channel movie.  Hanley will probably miss a few days to give his hand time to be less boo-booish.

Joel Hanrahan – 1/3 IP, 3 ER.  Hanrahanananananan is one of my biggest disappointments this year.  All you have to do is save a game every 8th day, is that so hard?  Someone in the comments yesterday mentioned Julian Tavares as a possible replacement.  With a WHIP under 1 and a 3.12 ERA, it’s possible.  I don’t think Mock, who also gave up 3 earned in two-thirds of an inning, is the answer.  Kip Wells may be the answer.  Though the question is unprintable.

Ryan Madson – Got the save.  Brad Lidge has knee inflammation.  Which doesn’t sound bad until you realize that he had an MRI last week that was just disclosed yesterday.  So Lidge’s hurting for over a week with knee problems?  This smells like a future DL stint. Own Madson in every league you can.

LaTroy Hawkins – The Valgreen’s is shut down again for a few days.  A DL stint seems likely here, as well.

Troy Tulowitzki – The Rockies made a questionable move yesterday benching Tulo because of his slump.  He just needs to hit his way out of it and, as they say in the third grade, stop making a federal case out of it.  His BABIP is saying he’s been extremely unlucky.  Maybe he sits out for a few days, but I don’t think they’re boneheaded to hold him out for that long.  The good news is Barmes will play short and Stewart will see time at 2nd base.  I’m not paying a lot, but I am buying into a rebound.

Ryan Zimmerman – One N, 2 HRs.  I hated him so much last year that I’m finding it hard to get excited about Zimmerman this year no matter what he does.  Maybe if he stole 5 bases in a game…

Brian Bannister – 7 IP, 1 ER, 1 hit.  And six walks.  Belch.  You do what you do, but I wouldn’t start him in any league.

David Purcey – 5 IP, 6 ER.  Jose Guillen hit two home runs off him.  Someone needs to be on Bully Beatdown!

Anibal Sanchez – 6 IP, 6 ER.  Sticking with the theme of starters I’m not crazy about, here’s number three.

Rickie Weeks – HR and 4 RBIs.  Just stay healthy…. Or at least have an injury right before Gordan Beckham gets called up.

Johnny Cueto – 7 IP, 1 ER.  2.19 ERA on the year.  Was really impressed with what I saw yesterday with Cueto.  He seems to be very composed on the mound and his stuff is filthy.  He won’t stay under a 3 ERA all year, but 3.50 seems attainable.

Carlos Delgado – News is this Latin 36-year-old is having trouble with his hip.  When Tatis took the field to replace him, Delgado yelled, “Stay off my lawn!”

Scott Baker – 6 IP, 4 ER, 7 Ks.  Hey, it’s an improvement, right?  Now see if you can trade him.

Raul Ibanez – Grand slam, has 6 HRs on the year and a .342 average.  Sure, he’s not hitting .340 this year.  He won’t break 30 HRs either, but I don’t think he’s necessarily a sell high guy either.

Justin Verlander – 7 IP, 9 Ks.  Well overdue bounceback start from Verlander.  He’s a 4 ERA pitcher, so when you have a 9 ERA, you have some correcting to do.  Also, King of the Obvious says, “The Yankees are currently reeling.”

Tim Wakefield – 7 IP, 0 ER, 1 Hit.  That’s Wake on waivers.  Here’s you picking up Wake.  Here’s Wake giving up 8 earned in 2 1/3 innings.

Carlos Pena – 9th homer yesterday.  Could he hit 50?  Maybe there’s a 10% chance, but 40 is in his sights.  ‘Member when Sosa hit 20 HRs in June of ’98?  Now some of my entire teams don’t have 20 home runs.  They do have 5 steals though.  AmblyDexterous!

Francisco Liriano went four innings and gave up seven runs against a team that absolutely kills lefties in Fenway.  Let’s run down his 3-year averages for the months of the season, starting with April: 6.93, 1.99, 1.51, 2.31, 1.13 and 4.36.  You think he might need some time to get going?  His April combined ERA for the last 3 years, not including this year, is almost 7.  His combined May through August ERAs are under 2. Are you kidding me? Heffin’ hey, trade for him! This might be the best buy you find right now.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Kurt Suzuki – First HR of the season yesterday.  He hit one HR through the middle of June last year.  What is everyone doing at Yankee Stadium?  Is it the Macarena?  The Electric Slide?  No, it’s The Jetstream!

Justin Verlander – 5 IP, 7 ER.  It’ll get better, but it’s not going to get much better to make him a buy candidate.

Joe Saunders – 5 IP, 5 ER.  Take out the Liquid Paper; more corrections to come.

Andre Ethier – Hit his 5th HR yesterday.  Frankly, sometimes I’m wrong. (17% of the time!)  I had my doubts about whether he would produce this year, but he’s doing it.

Hunter Pence – 4th homer, 3rd steal in yesterday’s game.  Marching towards 25/15 and top 30 outfielder status.

Francisco Cordero – 6th save, 1.29 ERA. Member he was a mess in spring training?  Uh-huh.

Kevin Gregg – 1 IP, 1 ER, 6.43 ERA.  Member he was a mess in– Oh, wait.

Johnny Cueto – 7 IP, 0 ER. 2.55 ERA on the season.  In the preseason, I said I was higher on Cueto this year than Volquez.  I wasn’t joking.

Milton Bradley – 0-for-4, 3 Ks.  Batting .043 so far this season when he shows up healthy and it’s not raining.  Cubs fans were booing him yesterday like he was Bartman and a goat’s love child.

Willy Taveras – 0-for-2, batting .268.  Wait, he’s no longer batting .400?  Ah, dim the lights in Ted Williams’s freezer for one more year.

David Purcey – 5 1/3 IP, 3 ER. Still burping.

Omar Vizquel/Ian Kinsler/Andruw Jones – Is there anyone not batting over .400 on the Rangers?  Oh, Salty B. Davis.

Jair Jurrjens – 7 2/3 IP, 0 ER.  1.42 ERA on the year.  I really like Jar-Jar this year.  I don’t think his ERA stays anywhere near where it is, obviously.  But he can keep it around 3.75 with some Ks.

Adam Dunn – 0-for-4. Oh, well. .300′s in the rear view.

Scott Baker – 4 2/3 IP, 6 ER.  Someone’s having a bit of a problem with the long ball.  If you had to ask me if he’s going to rebound in May like CC last year, or if he’s going to become completely unusable like Gorzelanny.  I’d take Gorz and June as the under.  I think Baker’s headed for the Disgraceful List. You don’t give up 7 home runs in 8 and two-thirds and just suddenly say, “Hey, you know what?  I just realized I was supposed to be throwing the ball harder.  And in better locations.”

Brian Bannister – Maybe he just likes pitching in April.  Pumpkin’s ETA is one week.

Josh Fields – HR, 3-for-5, batting in the 2 hole.  If this sticks, and, with Ozzie, anything’s possible, this could boost Fields’s value a lot.

Carlos Villanueva – Back as the setup man.  Only he was setting up Todd Coffey.  The Baron, frequent commenter/guest poster, pegged Coffey as an out of nowhere closer that gets 30 saves this year as Hoffman continues to get injured.  Not as crazy as it sounds.

Chris Young – 7 IP, 6 baserunners, 0 ER.  I like him; you know that.  But it sure don’t hurt when there’s only one guy in the opposing starting lineup hitting .300.

John Danks – 7 IP, 1 ER.  I feel like this guy isn’t getting the respect he deserves.  So far I’ve mentioned him in two of three Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sells as a Buy.  I put him as a starter to target in the preseason.  What do I have to do?  Help me, help you.

John Maine – 5.2 IP, 5 ER.  Outdueled by Joel Pineiro.  I just vomited onto my wall and it reads, “Punt.”

B.J. Ryan – 1 IP, 3 ER. Downs wasn’t much better making this a save situation in the first place by giving up a run.

Rafael Soriano – Got the save yesterday.  It was a tied game and Cox brought in his lefty closer into a tight game to face a tough lefty.  Don’t need to read too much into it.  Soriano’s 2nd in line, we knew that already though.

LaTroy Hawkins – Joey Valgreen’s decomposing right before our ojos – bad back, ankle, and calf.    We have no faith whatsoever in Hawkins but if he asked us to the SAGNOF dance, we’d accept the offer.  If you’ve got Valverde, go buy yourself some LaTroy Handcuffs…

Jay Bruce – Another HR.  This time I had him in my lineup.  Bruuuuuce!

Jeremy Guthrie – 6 IP, 5 ER.  Gotta know when to hold ‘em and know when to fold ‘em.  His team gives him no chances for wins, he faces the top offenses in baseball all the time, he doesn’t strikeout that many guys and he’s only a 4 ERA pitcher to begin with.   You win, world of Guthrie haters.  Are you happy?

Melky Cabrera – 2 HRs yesterday.  4 HRs in 23 ABs this year.  Everybody, come on!  We’re doing The Jetstream! (What? Trying too hard?)

Our weekly Friday Fantasy Baseball Feature, Buy Low/Sell High is back after an offseason layoff.  When asked what this fantasy baseball feature did during the offseason, it said this, “Went up to the Adirondacks for some bass fishing with my friend, Clete.  Well, one thing led to another and we fell in love.”  Alrighty then!  To get everyone on the same page, I like the Buy guys.  I dislike the Sell guys.  Now if Thames is in the Buy section (which he is!) and Lackey is in the Sell section (there too!) that doesn’t mean I recommend you trade Lackey for Thames.  Everything’s relative, Einstein.  Anyway, here’s some guys to buy and sell for the 1st week of the fantasy baseball season (start the games already!):

BUY

Alexi Casilla – Can run, can hit and at MI it pays to find out how much.

Emmanuel Burriss – Imagine Juan Pierre at 2nd base.  Run, Burriss, run.

Brett Gardner – It’s like a whole post of SAGNOF’ers.  Solid OBP and can steal 35 bags.  Don’t invest too heavily because the Yankees outfield is crowded, but I gots love for Gardner.

Marcus Thames – In 400 ABs, it’s not outlandish to think he could hit 30 HRs.  Actually, it’s quite landish.

Mark Teahen – 20/10?  Maybe.  Doesn’t hurt to find out.  Rotate middle infielders!  All the kids are doing it.

Russell Branyan – Every year a few guys rip up spring training and carry it into the regular season.  Don’t pay a lot for this schmohawk, but he’s worth a flier for power.

David Price – I like him better than Wieters, because, in the end, Wieters is just a catcher, but Price is a pitcher that can still get 120 to 140 solid innings.  Just bench him for a month.  You don’t really need Emilio Bonifacio that bad.  Unless you do.

David Freese – Now Glaus is not coming back until the All-Star Break.  Freese is the word.

Jason Motte – Sure, LaRussa’s doing everything he can to not appoint Motte the closer, but the alcohol has to wear off eventually.

Josh Johnson – You’ll be poppin’ some blowers when you fire up a Big Johnson.

John Danks – And put some Danks on it!

Matt Cain – I can just feel it.  Cain’s about to warm it up.  Genuine for oh-nine and still ain’t half-steppin’, peace!

SELL

Huston Street – Sure, check’s good to the bettor, but you need alligator blood.  Trade Street for an upgrade somewhere else while he has some value.

David Purcey – Mentioned this guy the other day.  *Burp*

Elijah Dukes – He’s effectively losing the outfield job to Austin Kearns.   That’ll make for a fun clubhouse!

Chris Young – Something is seriously wrong with Tally.  Might be hiding an injury.  Maybe he’s just sick of getting things down for people off high shelves.  You should hold tight for right now, but you’re not going to be able to start him.

Troy Glaus – Punt!

Fernando Rodney – If you can actually get someone to trade you a decent piece for Rodney now that he’s the closer, you win.  And by “decent piece,”  I mean just about anyone.

Travis Hafner – How long you think Hafner’s going to be stinking up the joint with his melon head?  Hafner’s head, “That was uncalled for.”

Nyjer Morgan – I like speed and nothing else guys as much as the next schmohawk, but Nyjer’s like a hot dog with no hot dog and no bun.  Think relish in your hand.  Who wants relish in their hand?  I don’t.  In deep leagues, sometimes you have to do what you have to do, but I’d try and do it elsewhere.

John Lackey – First sign of good news, I suggest you see if you can get someone decent for him in a trade.  This might take embellishing good news like this, “After his MRI, Lackey said he felt so good he could go for another three of them.”

Coming to the Braves outfield this summer, Jordan Schafer — The outfielder to have when you’re drafting more than one.  I picked him up immediately in my sucky fantasy baseball league.  He sounds blahtastic! Maybe 10/15/.250 aka every outfielder that sits on waivers all year that has one good game and you contemplate picking up until you think better of it.  Some have compared Schafer to Sizemore, but he’s much greener.  Though he does know his way around striking out.  He’s jumping straight from Double-A where he K’d 88 times in 297 ABs.  CHONE and ZiPS project averages near .240.  He may turn into a Sizemore, but for 2009 he’s more of a Sighsmore <– pun!  He’s worth a flier in an NL-Only league.  But then again, so is Cha-Seung Baek.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in spring training for fantasy baseball:

Dexter Fowler – Razzball was abuzz yesterday with the news Fowler might make the team.  He really should, and Helton should retire so Ian Stewart can play, but whatever.  Fowler is the total package like Lex Luger.  He can run, mash and had the opportunity to go to Harvard.  He could go 12/30 and hit .285.  Then he’s a 30/30 guy in a year or two.  Keeper leagues should be all over him.  I have Spilborghs on a few teams, but I’d happily move on from him to see Fowler get the chance.  I grabbed Fowler in my Spilborghs leagues for backup until this shakes out.  I’ll drop whoever doesn’t get the job.  Fowler or Maybin? I still want Maybin for now, because Maybin is assured time, i.e., the Marlins play their prospects.  If Helton was on the Marlins, he would already be DH for an AL team.

Joey Devine – Aching Joey Devine is having a real hard time staying healthy.  Looks like Ziegler will start the year as the A’s closer.  He could hold the job for a while depending on effectiveness and Devine’s injury-prone-itude (Made Up Word Of The Day!).

Alexei Ramirez – Was hurt sliding into home, but didn’t seem too serious from the latest news I heard.  Now ease back on the hustle, Alexei.  You’re going to give me a heart attack.  Everyone’s calling you an Alfonso Soriano clone, but there’s no need replicate his injury-prone-itude.  Please don’t turn into this year’s bust.  Please.  I’m begging you now.

James McDonald – Some of you noobs (I called you a noob! Natch!) are going to think it’s Christmas in March, but I wrote a James McDonald sleeper post already.  How’s dem apples?  Delicious, I know.

Dustin McGowan – Jays unsure of his return.  Hey, that makes two of us!

Travis Hafner – Hit first homer of spring and he’s batting .227.  Good to see he’s rounding into mid-season form.

DeWayne Wise/Chris Getz – White Sox one and two hitters?  Alexei batting 8th?  Fields 9th?  Somebody, please help him!  Ozzie Guillen’s gone crazy!

Jason Motte – LaRussa said Motte would see some save chances.  Way to clear that up!  I think Franklin still gets involved in this mess.

J.D. Drew – Will bat fifth for the Sawx.  I think people underrate Drew.  He’s not a bad 4th to 5th outfielder.

David Purcey – I’m not buying into his solid spring training numbers.  I call shenanigans.

B.J. Ryan – Gaston’s talking about using Downs for some saves, but reading between the lines tells me he might just be goading Ryan to man up.  Either way, Downs is the handcuff you want as a Ryan owner.

David Delucci – Sticking with the newly-established David theme, David Delucci goes to the DL.  Lates, Double D.  Ben Francisco and Shin-Soo Choo just got a bump — not a Studio 54 bump.

Emilio Bonifacio – Could be leading off for Florida.  Or Maybin.  Or Hanley.  Or Amezaga when he’s healthy.  I doubt Bonifacio sticks in leadoff, but SAGNOF.  I also really hope to one day see Alfredo Amezaga and Emilio Bonifacio in an Olive Garden commercial.  Now that’s Italian!