Fantasy Baseball Advice

The first season of Razzball - a fantasy baseball game where you try to manage the worst team possible - has been quite the trip. Never have players such as Brian Bixler (backup Pittsburgh SS - 41 AB, 0 HR, 0 RBI, .195 AVG) and Kyle Kendrick (he of the 1.81 WHIP) been so celebrated. Never has unforeseen success like Cliff Lee and Chad Gaudin been so derided.

At about the 4 week point, our Razzball leader is baseball card blogger Cards in the Attic with 88 of a potential 120 points (standings here and at bottom, click thumbnail on right for rosters). The Aardvark Trading Company hasn’t been playing scared - he’s leading the league in At-Bats (one of 3 above the 752 pro-rated minimum) and 4th in innings pitched. It’s just that his team is playing like a whole bunch of Billy “Fuck Face” Ripkens. Led by staff aces Matt Morris (3 Losses, 9.15 ERA, 1.98 WHIP) and Matt Chico (4 Losses, 6.04 ERA, 1.55WHIP), the AardvarkTradingCo.Com is setting the pace (or is it trailing the pack?) with 50 out of a possible 60 pitching points.

Yours truly is in 2nd place as my team has cooled off (warmed up?) after a torrid (horrid?) start. Damn you John Denks and Pat Maholm! Rotoprofessor is in 3rd place and our teams are performing quite similarly. We’ve done a bit better in offense with 42.5 and 44 points, respectively, managing some rather low HR/RBI (8/63 and 7/71) and awful (awesome?) batting averages (.237 and .235). Hitting MVP’s include Mike Lamb (1B/3B, .182, 0 HR), Brian Bocock (SS, .172, 0 HR, 2 RBI, 22 Ks), Travis Buck (OF, .154, 0 HR, 6 RBI, 20 Ks), and Cody Ross (OF, .146, 41 AB, 1 R, 0 HR, 2 RBI).

Underdog entry Josh the Non-Blogger has been the overachiever (underachiever?) managing 4th place with a well-balanced squad. Greener On The Other Side and Sweet Lou’s Defunct Baseball Lab have struggled out of the gate with ABs - falling 100+ below the necessary pace (pro-rated 5200 team AB) and seeing their HR nearly double after the adjustments were made. Fantasy Baseball Generals has struggled with a pitching staff that doesn’t realize it is supposed to suck - don’t take my word for it, here is their commentary on it.

Should be interesting to see how the season progresses. It’s a lot tougher to maintain a lead when your best players are the most likely to be benched, demoted or released (see Matt Morris).

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USA Today might no longer appreciate the insights shared by Larry King in his long-running column but we at Razzball were thrilled when he accepted our invitation to share his thoughts on Fantasy Baseball….

Hello, fantasy baseball fans in America and abroad! Hope your teams are doing better than mine - I keep forgetting that the Dodgers no longer play in a hitter’s park….Am I the only one who gets Grady Sizemore and Brady Anderson mixed up?….One of my favorite players is David Ortiz because we have so much in common - bad knees, we’re older than we claim, and we both like being called Big Papi….Glad to see David Eckstein land in Toronto - I just hope they keep the dome closed during day games to protect his skin….Forget Hollywood, the best director of a cast of characters in LA is Joe Torre. I drafted all four Dodgers OFs just to be a part of it….CC Sabathia’s starts remind me of my prostate exams - I keep hoping for a happy ending but I just end up coughing and looking to the side….Am I the only one that gets Cracker Jack and Crunch ‘n Munch mixed up?….Sorry Mr. Westbrook but the best Jake pitching today is Jake Peavy….SF’s Brian Bocock is the best amateur middle infielder I’ve seen since Billy Crystal….The most insightful Baseball Tonight personality is John Kruk - boy am I glad he’s not in my fantasy baseball league….second most insightful Baseball tonight personality is a 14-way tie….I feel bad for Chad Cordero and Joe Borowski as I lose things all the time too….If Michael Bourn and Carl Crawford ran a race, I’d recommend that the spectators not blink…..Am I the only one that gets Jose Mesa and Jose Valverde mixed up?…..If managing baseball is like a game of chess, Dusty Baker is a Grandmaster…..The only thing hotter than the weather and the women in Arizona are the trio of Brandon Webb, Dan Haren, and Micah Owings…they go as well together as my face and a pair of fake knockers….