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While the bad buzz on Torre’s book is permeating the web (even Buster Olney knocks him), we would like to stand up for Joe.  Really people — Do you think they called Alex Rodriguez “A-Fraud?”  Joe Torre obviously softened this for mass consumption.  More likely tauntnames for A-Rod:

1. Gay-Rod

2. Jeter’s-Rod

3. A-Hole

4. Alice

5. Latina

6. Choke-Rod

7. Showing Up Really Late To The Madonna Vagina Party-Rod

8. Pretty Boy

9. Scotty J (Philip Seymour Hoffman character in Boogie Nights.  “Derek, look at my car.”)

10. Best Power Hitter of His Generation But We Still Don’t Want to Hang Out With You-Rod

Stay classy, Joe!

18 Responses

  1. Rob says:
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    You can never go wrong with a ‘Boogie Nights’ reference. Great job, keep’em coming.

  2. Frank Rizzo says:
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    This guy’s only hope is that cougar Madonna. Normal women can’t stand him because he’s such an uber-dork who comes off as a homosexual. Homosexuals don’t like him because he’s an uber-dork who is afraid to come out of the closet. Then theres uber-skank MaCougar who’s willing to grab hold of anything now that may keep her somewhat relevant. She is so f’ing disgusting, the thought of her makes me puke in my mouth a little.

    So to summarize….
    -Torre hasn’t a shred of integrity
    -Gaywad is an insecure homosexual who’s too afraid to admit it because of the bad publicity, who likes skanky granny’s who haven’t been relevant for 20 years.
    -Jeter still pulls the finest clam in the universe and continually snows the media and fantasy players alike into thinking he’s great.
    -Madonna is a wrinkly, old, slut.

  3. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Rob: Thanks!

    @Frank Rizzo: Wow, I like this Frank Rizzo fella. If only Rudy didn’t discontinue the Comment O’ The Week feature.

  4. Frank Rizzo says:
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    @Grey:Does MaCougar have staying power? Kind of reminds me of the ongoing SNL skit MacGruber.

  5. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Frank Rizzo: I really like MaCougar, but it’s so hard to know what will stick. Phat held steady for ten years, but no one’s throwing a bone to doughy bagel. I really think we need to just wait and see how this all plays out.

  6. Frank Rizzo says:
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    @Grey: I probably don’t need to tell you how nervous I am right now. Will it become as big as “phat” or “that’s wack” or even “off the chain/hook/heazy”? A fella can dream can’t he?

  7. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Frank Rizzo: Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars.*

    *Casey Kasem

  8. Frank Rizzo says:
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    @Grey: f’ing awesome!

    FYI-I just entered Macougar into the Urban Dictionary and I’m waiting to see if the editors decide to accept it. Here’s their message to me below. I’ll keep you updated. So nervous right now.

    “Your entry is under review by editors.

    macougar
    An older celebrity woman who chases younger celebrity men in an attempt to stay relevant.
    Madonna chases after younger high profile men in an attempt to stay relevant, and in the public eye…..Macougar.”

  9. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Frank Rizzo: Demi Moore is a total MaCougar. — Did I use it right?

  10. Frank Rizzo says:
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    @Grey: bingo! Please start using this in any and all conversations with everyone you know.

  11. Frank Rizzo says:
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    Update from the Urban Dictionary.

    I’m published!

    “Thanks for your definition of macougar! Editors reviewed your entry and have decided to publish it on urbandictionary.com. It should appear on this page in the next few days:http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=macougar Urban Dictionary”

    Thanks for your time Grey. You’ve been a real inspiration. Without you, none of this would have happened.

  12. BigFatHippo says:
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    @Frank Rizzo: @Grey: MaCougar, melike.

    Just rented Guy Ritchie’s new film to piss her off and throw some royalties his way. Just doing my part…

    Plus I hate the bitch too, roomies and I in college had to buy the biggest baddest speakers at the time, the Bose 901′s, just to drown out the gaytunes blasting throughout the dorm.

  13. GasTheObese says:
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    Torre was definitely the Bruno Kirby ala Basketball Diaries in the Jeter/ARod sexploitation film.

  14. BigFatHippo says:
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    @GasTheObese: Please don’t gas me, I’m big boned.

  15. Eric W says:
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    ahh at least torre didint reveal that he was part of the golden thong trio

  16. sean says:
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    @grey: thought you’d go with “derek, can i kiss you on the mouth?” for scotty or perhaps “i’m a f*ing idiot, a f*ing idiot, f*ing idiot”

  17. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @sean: Quality quotes indeed and all worthy of Arod. Just remember, you can have the tape, but you can’t have the magic that’s on the tape.

Comments are closed.