Vlad the Imposter

As history tells us, Vlad the Impaler was quite the refined Wallachian (the more you know) gentlemen, a national hero of Romania, and was also portrayed by Leslie Nielson in the documentary “Dracula, Dead and Loving It!” Okay, so it wasn’t a completely accurate historical piece, except for the many enemas (hmmmm), but who’s to say anything else about good ole Vlad is true or not? And before we go off the deep end (aka Wiki rabbit-hole), I think it’s better to get the obvious title tie-in with Vladimir Guerrero Jr., aka Vlad the II, and Vlad the Impaler, aka Vlad the III, and now I’ve realized this is all way too much work. Just know this! Vlad the II, the one playing baseball right now, we need to talk about him. That’s it, that’s my intro. God this season feels so long…

Vladimir Guerrero Jr. has always held my interest since his father was one of the first groupings of players I rooted for, dating all the way back when the Expos were fighting tooth and nail to win the hearts and minds of their fanbase of 23 Canadians and 11 Eskimos. Are there even Eskimos in Montreal? I actually don’t care. And I’m not actually sure what his dad has to do with him except just date how old I am, but the sentiment remains. Maybe it’s all to say I don’t think Vlad is actually an imposter, but the numbers don’t lie.

And that’s not some kind of cliff-hanger, I’m not trying to say that 35 home runs with a .313/.409/.605 is an imposter of anything, but he can both be amazing and distant at the same time. Much like your mother. And by distance, I guess I’m alluding to the fact that there’s a very thin line between Vlad the Impaler and Vlad the Imposter, if only to hammer my title home even further. And that’s his streakiness, where even now, it just feels like he’s not doing anything. There are of course valid reasons for this, his disappearing act in August… since the All-Star break really stood in stark contrast to his previous 87 games. And most of this is generally seen in his home/road splits.

As you can clearly see, he isn’t a terrible player when not home, but is very much a different player. Worth mentioning, but to a lesser degree, are his righty and lefty splits as well.

And while this slump looks to be ending as of this very writing, it’s important to note that no one should be worrying about this still-MVP candidate. As the season winds down, it’s important to take stock in players like this whether you are in the running or waiting for Razzball Fantasy Basketball to start. (I’ll be there soon!) Whether you are evaluating for the rest of the season or next year, certainly the streaks that Vladimir Guerrero Jr. are susceptible to should be appropriately calculated the value he brings.

That’s not to nitpick either, in fact, it’s quite the opposite. At a very base level, we have a corner infielder who’s poised to be a superstar and to be earnest, is probably already there, but keep an eye on the caveats that may sway us too little or too much, and that’s what I’m mainly addressing, especially now at the perfect time to utilize dat 20/20 hindsight and proclaim all is well, all is good, just all part of the process. Or maybe it’s a bit more accurate to just plain say that young and talented players hit some speed bumps, so keep on keeping on. Clearly, this type of hitting profile is prone to that, but as we’ve seen in real-time, can recover through inherent talent, skills, and yes, the ability to mash the ball with pure power.

As of now and based on what we know after three years is that the only real threats to his career are either health-related or plate discipline related. And as we’ve seen, he struggles a bit with these aspects depending on the time and place. Yeah, it sounds like generic rubbish, but I promise it’s useful generic rubbish in that if you stay on this Vlad the Impaler Jr.’s hype train, you will enjoy the ride. Definitely should have used your “mother joke” here… But basically ignore the slumps, the noise and enjoy what should be an equally impressive if not better performance than Vlad the First. The baseball player, not the garlic hater…

Jay is a longtime Razzball everything who consumes an egregious amount of Makers Mark as a vehicle to gain wisdom and augment his natural glow. Living in the D.C. area, he also likes spending time visiting the local parks and feeding lettuce to any turtles he encounters, including Mitch McConnell. You can follow him on Twitter @jaywrong.