Two Startapalooza, Week 9: Jackhammering Around Landmines

If last week left a lot to be desired (also what women tell me), well this week makes up for it. There are more two start pitchers here than you can shake a stick at. Just try it! Try and shake a stick at all these names, it won’t work. You’ll tire by Tier 4, and Tier 5 alone has TWENTY TWO options. They’re stinky options, but options nevertheless. So leave the stick outside. They’re dirty anyway and you don’t vacuum the carpet nearly often enough to make up for that.

Tier 1 is fairly barren, but Tier 2 provides an ample slate of highly owned starters. Tiers 3-4 are meaty this week, so stream away. Caleb Smith has wiggled his way into Tier 3 after some sustained success, and there are a whole bunch of Tier 4 starters who are low owned with nice matchups for your perusal. Jeremy Hellickson is on blister watch and the Cardinals rotation is always a headache, but for the time being they all look like tasty offerings.

• Astros Pitchers – It’s insane how good the Astros rotation has been. Historically good, in fact, and pacing towards the most WAR in MLB history. This coming week they get tested, and we get to enjoy what should be some damn good baseball. Both Justin Verlander (1.08 ERA) and Charlie Morton (2.04 ERA) line up for two starts, facing the top two offenses against right-handers in the league. Obviously you’re starting them, but be prepared for fantasy disappointment. You know what, even if all four of those starts between those two are busts, you’re so far ahead of the pack with their ERA that you can handle a bad start or two anyway, you greedy jamoche.

• Jake Arrieta (PHI) – Arrieta has certainly given Phillies fans what they asked for in terms of results, with a 2.45 ERA and 4-2 record through nine starts. Obviously the ERA is great for fantasy purposes too, but things aren’t so shiny under the hood. He’s striking out just 6.14 batters per nine innings, ranking him 80th among qualified starters. His 6.6% swinging strike rate doesn’t indicate that number will be going north any time soon. He’s been additionally fortunate in terms of HR/FB (4.9%) and BABIP (.263), giving him a 4.02 xFIP. He has, however, induced more soft contact than a Barry Manilow album with a 23.5% mark that ranks him 2nd in baseball behind only Justin Verlander. I don’t expect an implosion with two favorable matchups on the docket this week, but with that low strikeout rate you’re looking at more of a #3 fantasy starter.

• Tyson Ross (SD) – Welcome back from the metaphorical dead, Ty Ross. The metaphorical dead in this case being Thoracic Outlet Syndrome, which is nearly a death nail for pitchers. Ross is creeping back into SP2/3 status with his 3.13 ERA (3.76 SIERA) and 9.55 K/9. Ross has never been a great WHIP contributor (career 1.34 WHIP) and has really always been a two-pitch guy, but that slider is money. This year he’s at least working in a cutter to complement his fastball and keep batters off balance, and so far it’s working. It’s not a good pitch by itself with a 12% whiff rate and 43% ground balls (.306 batting average against isn’t fun either), but at least it gives batters something else to look out for. Ross lines up for two of the best matchups you could ask for this week with the Marlins and Reds at home, so fire him up in all formats.

• Dan Straily – Do you like to live dangerously as I do, Mr. Powers? Starting Straily to this point has been like jackhammering around a landmine, but so far you’ve been able to avoid disaster. Straily has just 19 strikeouts and 17 walks in 26 innings. He has a .200 BABIP and 90% strand rate. He has a 49% hard contact rate. His FIP is 6.22. It’s like you began a game in which you asked your child to punch you in the genitals while you continue to dodge and juke so he/she misses. It’s only going to be a matter of time until you get distracted by that burning smell in the kitchen from that Tombstone pizza you forgot you put in the oven a half hour ago and take a shot to the nether regions. Straily has terrific matchups this week by the numbers, but you have to ask yourself…do you feel lucky?

• Matt Koch (ARI) – Don’t ask me how to pronounce his name, I’m just here for the letters and numbers. But it looks dirty. Moving right along, Mr. Koch lines up for favorable starts against the Reds and Marlins at home this week. Solid stuff. However, Koch is in Tier 5 for a reason. Several reasons, really, and they include such things as: a 5.23 K/9! 5.71 FIP! 46.7% hard contact! 6.1% swinging strike rate! Come one, come all and play the dangerous game of “Streaming A Crappy Pitcher In A Two Start Week” hosted by Regin Philbin. I might be tempted here in a deep league, but you can do better in shallow mixers.

All pitchers are scheduled for two starts as of Friday evening.

You can find Dokken on Twitter @NathanDokken