Like a vagabond hipster too afraid to settle down, this one could have gone in a thousand different directions: “Stop! Hameltime.” “Sledgehamel” “Hamel ‘Em Home” “Drop the Hamel” Haha, when you’ve been around for nearly a decade as a dominant pitcher your name is bound to be punned and used more times than Grey’s transaction count in his RCL. So, I’ll take the phrase that chooses to play on the words of truck drivers everywhere declaring their lead foot flushing it to the floor, and get to show one of the dopest gifs of a Marvel character out there. Not the best (wonderful for a litany of opportunities through text), or a close second, but definitely up there, just like Cole Hamels age.
Hard to believe Cole Hamels burst onto the scene ten years ago during the glory years of the Phillies, but as a 22-year-old he managed a 9.86 K/9 in his rookie season (his career high). Fast forward to his 32-year-old season and he’s still going strong at 8.90 K/9 and 3.38 BB/9. The age keeps getting higher, but the perception keeps dropping, unfortunately. That BB/9 is the highest of his career, and he’s outperforming his FIP by a significant amount (2.91 ERA to 3.86 FIP). SO, why in the world am I highlighting him? Because he’s not pitching at Arlington this week!!! Let me introduce you to splits, ladies and gentlemen. Or, well, primarily gentlemen. And if I’m introducing you to splits, haha, you need to immerse yourself in everything Razzball over the next five months or so before Spring Training. We’ll get you there. Don’t worry. Now, back to Cole…
Pitchers and baseball players emerge and evolve all the time. Hamels is no stranger to this. His 2016 look? 2015 Dallas Keuchel, without the historic W-L record at home to earn a Cy Young. Everyone’s low on him, but when he’s on the road he’s arguably a top 5 SP. Take a look:
HOME – 5-2 with a 4.10 ERA, 1.48 WHIP, .270 AVG against, .779 OPS against, 16.2% HR/FB, 4.44 FIP
AWAY – 9-2 with a 1.97 ERA, 1.07 WHIP, .203 AVG against, .578 OPS against, 10.1% HR/FB, 3.38 FIP
And would ya look at that…Hamels is pitching AWAY from Arlington TWICE this week! He should roll through the AL West in Week 23, earning a slot with the top tier. Here’s a bold prediction for the combined two starts: 15.2 IP, 10 H, 1 HR, 3 ER, 4 BB, 16 K. You take that every time.
Here’s the full ranking of who else I’d take in Week 23!
Want to take on myself and other Razzball contributors and readers in a Fantasy Football League for prizes? Join here!
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Pitchers are listed in order by rank. Colors represent worst 8 or best 8 opponents according to team wOBA for last 14 days.
THE BEST
| Player | Team | Opponents | ERA/FIP | K9/BB9 |
| Corey Kluber | CLE | HOU, @MIN | 3.09/3.16 | 9.26/2.25 |
| Chris Sale | CHW | DET, KC | 3.10/3.34 | 8.97/2.04 |
| Justin Verlander | DET | @CWS, BAL | 3.30/3.61 | 9.48/2.20 |
| Cole Hamels | TEX | @SEA, @LAA | 2.91/3.86 | 8.90/3.38 |
| Kyle Hendricks | CHC | @MIL, @HOU | 2.09/3.30 | 7.87/2.21 |
| Masahiro Tanaka | NYY | TOR, TB | 3.12/3.26 | 7.60/1.46 |
THE REPLICAS
| Player | Team | Opponents | ERA/FIP | K9/BB9 |
| Felix Hernandez | SEA | TEX, @OAK | 3.48/4.44 | 7.69/3.85 |
| Drew Pomeranz | BOS | @SD, @TOR | 3.00/3.56 | 9.94/3.47 |
| James Paxton | SEA | TEX, @OAK | 3.83/3.04 | 8.05/1.96 |
| Drew Smyly | TB | BAL, @NYY | 4.94/4.46 | 8.88/2.44 |
| Zack Greinke | ARI | @LAD, SF | 4.17/3.64 | 7.54/1.92 |
| Luke Weaver | STL | @PIT, MIL | 3.86/4.15 | 11.14/3.00 |
| Jake Odorizzi | TB | BAL, @NYY | 3.56/4.10 | 8.13/2.62 |
THE STANDARDS
| Player | Team | Opponents | ERA/FIP | K9/BB9 |
| Gio Gonzalez | WAS | ATL, PHI | 4.14/3.83 | 8.51/3.03 |
| Adam Wainwright | STL | @PIT, MIL | 4.53/3.58 | 7.12/2.43 |
| Bartolo Colon | NYM | @CIN, @ATL | 3.35/3.93 | 6.01/1.59 |
| Tyler Anderson | COL | SF, @SD | 3.43/3.57 | 8.26/2.22 |
THE KNOCKOFFS
| Player | Team | Opponents | ERA/FIP | K9/BB9 |
| Jerad Eickhoff | PHI | @MIA, @WAS | 3.90/4.09 | 7.46/2.12 |
| Zach Davies | MIL | CHC, @STL | 4.07/3.96 | 7.56/2.20 |
| Homer Bailey | CIN | NYM, @PIT | 6.65/3.10 | 10.57/2.74 |
| Brandon Finnegan | CIN | NYM, @PIT | 4.19/5.25 | 7.39/4.19 |
| Collin McHugh | HOU | @CLE, CHC | 4.80/4.08 | 8.88/2.49 |
THE 
| Player | Team | Opponents | ERA/FIP | K9/BB9 |
| Matt Moore | SF | @COL, @ARI | 3.88/4.31 | 7.81/3.29 |
| Bud Norris | LAD | ARI, @MIA | 4.92/4.20 | 8.22/3.87 |
| Josh Tomlin | CLE | HOU, @MIN | 4.89/5.24 | 6.60/1.22 |
| Ryan Vogelsong | PIT | STL, CIN | 3.56/4.67 | 6.79/3.88 |
| Mike Fiers | HOU | @CLE, CHC | 4.31/4.52 | 7.00/2.13 |
| Matt Wisler | ATL | @WAS, NYM | 4.76/4.81 | 6.95/2.78 |
| Edinson Volquez | KC | @MIN, @CHW | 5.01/4.40 | 6.69/3.26 |
| Chad Kuhl | PIT | STL, CIN | 3.70/4.36 | 5.92/2.40 |
| Luis Cessa | NYY | TOR, TB | 4.17/5.98 | 5.65/2.21 |
| Ross Detwiler | OAK | LAA, SEA | 4.81/4.48 | 6.15/3.21 |
| Martin Perez | TEX | @SEA, @LAA | 4.30/4.51 | 4.61/3.55 |
| Paul Clemens | SD | BOS, COL | 4.93/6.17 | 6.90/4.73 |
| Jake Esch | MIA | PHI, LAD | 4.15/7.30 | 4.15/6.23 |
| Adam Morgan | PHI | @MIA, @WAS | 6.21/5.46 | 7.45/2.17 |
| Pat Dean | MIN | KC, CLE | 6.75/5.47 | 6.41/3.21 |
| Jarred Cosart | SD | BOS, COL | 5.14/4.39 | 5.88/5.69 |
| Ubaldo Jimenez | BAL | @TB, @DET | 6.46/4.73 | 7.88/5.11 |
| Jered Weaver | LAA | @OAK, TEX | 5.21/5.75 | 4.67/2.39 |
All pitchers are projected for two-starts as of Friday night.
Good luck in Week 23, and DROP THOSE COMMENTS! It’s the first week of the PLAYOFFS! And yes, we talkin’ bout playoffs, to fully merge two of the greatest press conferences ever. Here’s to Jim Mora, Allen Iverson and all of you that will reach round two of your playoffs…or just keep on truckin’ in Roto leagues.
