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I’m terrified of jazz. Growing up, there was only one way for me and my brothers to know what kind of mood my dad was in – the radio station he had on in the car. If it was 93.3 WMMR classic rock, we were good to go. Dad was in a great mood. If it was smooth jazz 106.1? God help us. We were one well-placed backhand away from decapitation. You see, my dad only listened to smooth jazz when it was the only thing between him and homicide as he tried desperately to calm down after a shit day at work. 15 years of therapy later, I’m able to listen to Kenny G again. Jazz Chisholm (2-for-4 with a homer, his 18th of the year) is doing just fine without hypnosis or puppets. His average this year is hot garbage, but with 18 homers and 13 steals in Double-A and a much more palatable .260 average in July, he’s doing enough to stay afloat. Here’s what else is happening around the minor leagues…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Way back in the late fall, I released my Original edition of the first year player draft rankings. So, it’s been awhile since I first wrote those, and ranked these players out. I figured it was about time to update those now dated ranks. The question you may be asking yourself is “Ralph, why are you so handsome, and also what’s changed?” Well I’ll tell you, I “gots somes” experience now. Because, over the last month plus I’ve had several first year player drafts, meaning I “gots somes” actual real life draft knowledge to draw from. Not to mention my ever-evolving opinions and evaluations of players. So what better time to update the rankings, and give you an idea as to where my heads at after reviewing all of these youngins over the course of my team by team prospect rankings. I’ve fallen in love with some, soured on others, and been introduced to players I previously overlooked. If these rankings are too late for your league’s draft, my apologies, and I understand your angst. We’re deep into draft season, meaning our collective sweatpants smell of rot and butt cheeks, it’s okay to be ornery.  I’ll make it easy, use small words, and discuss lots of wildly inaccurate and inappropriate expectations to put on a teenager. It’s all good though because it’s in the name of fantasy baseball.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It seems like only yesterday the Astros were the laughing stock of the AL. Times were lean, with very little talent and a decade of futility, there seemed to be little to no light at the end of the tunnel. In just a few short years General Manager Jeff Luhnow has turned around both the farm system and major league club, to the point that each is bursting at the seams with talent. The last two years have brought about the dawn of a new era in Houston; defined by young talented players all over the field, and an aggressive approach in free agency, the trade market and draft. In the last two seasons alone the Astros have welcomed multiple impact rookies in the form of Carlos Correa, Lance McCullers, and Alex Bregman. With a host of others not too far behind, the ‘Stros look set to compete for years to come. Seriously, you can’t imagine how much work it is to do a Podcast on Houston Astros Prospects and follow it up with a magnum opus post about Houston Astros prospects? They have so much dynasty goodness it’s unbelievable. I’m not joking when I say I feel like I could just draft Astros players and manage to field a solid squad. Albeit one that needs to trade some of it’s prospect depth for pitching, but that’s besides the point. This is a long one, so enough with the small talk let’s discuss some Houston Astros Prospects! Wooooooo!!!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

After a week of action like this week, I feel like I need a cigarette now that the winter meetings have come to a close. Lots of prospects moving, mostly to the Southside of Chicago, and lots of player evals to update. The work of a Prospector is truly never done. Of course your Loyal H.P.I.C, and my digital Sherpa Michael Halpern of imaginarybrickwall.com have to give you our two cents on the prospects changing laundry. We’ll let J.B. and the one true Fantasy Master Lothario Grey Albright update you on the re-draft league side of things. We have no need for yucky major leaguers. Oh and bee-t-dubs we go through the expansive and nearly never-ending talent pool that is the Houston Astros farm system. We talk some A.J. Reed, Francis Martes, Yuleski Gurriel, Kyle Tucker, and a whole bunch of others. It’s the closest thing Halp and I will ever have to a double album, it’s the Top Houston Astros Prospects on the latest episode of the Razzball Fantasy Baseball Prospect Podcast.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

If Nasty Nas is correct, and sleep is in fact the cousin of death, then these guys are whistling past the graveyard on the way to see Uncle Quilly. Today we climax together, like a perfectly symmetrical couple only we’re probably two dudes who like the most deviant of fantasy baseball hobbies, dynasty leagues. By climax I don’t mean actual climax, that would be weird, and could have lasting repercussions on my marriage, but rather we’re climaxing by finishing off my draft update series. Calm down guys it’s here; today’s post will be focusing on sleepers. This series is in no way a ranking of the best fantasy players in the most recent draft. I’ll save that for the early part of the offseason. So for today, we’ll leer at those outside the first round and compensation round, and look at who could be the next breakout guys a la Willie Calhoun.

Please, blog, may I have some more?