USA Today might no longer appreciate the insights shared by Larry King in his long-running column but we at Razzball were thrilled when he accepted our invitation to share his thoughts on Fantasy Baseball….

Hello, fantasy baseball fans in America and abroad! Hope your teams are doing better than mine – I keep forgetting that the Dodgers no longer play in a hitter’s park….Am I the only one who gets Grady Sizemore and Brady Anderson mixed up?….One of my favorite players is David Ortiz because we have so much in common – bad knees, we’re older than we claim, and we both like being called Big Papi….Glad to see David Eckstein land in Toronto – I just hope they keep the dome closed during day games to protect his skin….Forget Hollywood, the best director of a cast of characters in LA is Joe Torre. I drafted all four Dodgers OFs just to be a part of it….CC Sabathia’s starts remind me of my prostate exams – I keep hoping for a happy ending but I just end up coughing and looking to the side….Am I the only one that gets Cracker Jack and Crunch ‘n Munch mixed up?….Sorry Mr. Westbrook but the best Jake pitching today is Jake Peavy….SF’s Brian Bocock is the best amateur middle infielder I’ve seen since Billy Crystal….The most insightful Baseball Tonight personality is John Kruk – boy am I glad he’s not in my fantasy baseball league….second most insightful Baseball tonight personality is a 14-way tie….I feel bad for Chad Cordero and Joe Borowski as I lose things all the time too….If Michael Bourn and Carl Crawford ran a race, I’d recommend that the spectators not blink…..Am I the only one that gets Jose Mesa and Jose Valverde mixed up?…..If managing baseball is like a game of chess, Dusty Baker is a Grandmaster…..The only thing hotter than the weather and the women in Arizona are the trio of Brandon Webb, Dan Haren, and Micah Owings…they go as well together as my face and a pair of fake knockers….

  1. mike says:

    haha…. fuckin great

  2. wilson says:

    got know idea if thats actually larry king but either way its hilarious “the trio of Brandon Webb, Dan Haren, and Micah Owings…they go as well together as my face and a pair of fake knockers….” pure genius

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